Surprise Baby, Second Chance

‘You didn’t change,’ he said into the silence that had settled in the room. She took her plate and drink to the couch and tried to figure out how to sit down without the slit revealing her leg.

‘No,’ she replied after a moment, and then gave up and lowered to the seat. She set her food on the coffee table in front of them, covered as much leg as she could and then took a long sip of the drink before she answered him. ‘As I predicted, there were only a couple of shirts in there and jeans. The jeans wouldn’t fit me.’

He settled at the opposite end of the couch. ‘You could have worn one of the shirts.’

She lifted a brow. ‘And that wouldn’t have been...distracting?’

‘What you’re wearing now isn’t?’

His eyes lowered to the leg she’d been trying to cover, and then moved up to her cleavage.

‘I’ll go change,’ she said in a hoarse voice, setting her drink down.

‘No, you don’t have to.’

His gaze lifted to her face, though his expression didn’t do anything to help the flush that was slowly making its way through her body.

‘It’s probably for the best.’

‘Are you afraid I’ll do something neither of us wants?’

‘No.’

Because both of us would want it.

‘I just think it would be better for us not to...cross any boundaries.’

‘Are there boundaries?’ he asked casually, though she wasn’t fooled by it. She could hear the danger beneath the façade. ‘I didn’t realise a married couple had boundaries.’

‘That’s not quite what we are now, though.’

‘No? Did I miss the divorce papers you sent to me while you were in Cape Town?’

Bile churned in her stomach. ‘There are no divorce papers.’ She frowned. ‘You knew where I was?’

He nodded. ‘I needed to make sure you were okay.’

She closed her eyes. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t think—’

‘That I’d want to know that you were alive?’

‘I took my clothes. I thought—’ She broke off as shame filled her. ‘I should have let you know.’

A chill swept over her as she took in his blank expression. ‘You said we aren’t quite married, but you haven’t asked for a divorce.’ He stopped, though she clearly heard the yet he hadn’t said. ‘Which is it, Rosa?’

And, though his expression was still clear of emotion, the danger in his voice was coming out in full now. She swallowed and reached for her drink again.

‘I don’t want to get into this,’ she said after she’d taken another healthy sip. She’d need a refill soon if she went on like this.

‘You can’t get out of it. We’re stuck here.’

‘I know.’ Couldn’t forget it if she tried. ‘I also know that if we start talking about this stuff, being trapped here is going to be a lot harder than it needs to be.’

‘Stuff,’ he repeated softly. Her eyes met his and she saw the anger there. ‘Is that what you call leaving me after five years of being together? After three years of marriage?’

‘I call it life,’ she replied sharply. ‘Life happened, and I had to go.’ She stood. ‘There’s no point in rehashing it now.’

He stood with her, and the body she’d always loved cast a shadow over her. ‘Where are you going to go, Rosa?’ he asked. ‘There’s nowhere to run. This room is open-plan. The only other room is the bathroom, and even then you wouldn’t be able to stay there for ever.’

She took a step back. Lowered to the couch slowly. ‘You’re taking too much joy from this.’

‘This isn’t joy.’ He sat back down, though his body didn’t relax. She nearly rolled her eyes. What did he think he was going to have to do? Tackle her if she tried to get past him?

‘What would you call it then?’

‘Satisfaction. Karma.’

‘Karma?’ she said with a bark of laughter. ‘I didn’t realise you believed in karma.’

‘I didn’t. Until today. Now. When it’s become clear how much you want to run from this—from me—and can’t.’

Now she did roll her eyes. ‘And what are you paying for? What did you do that was so bad that you deserve to be locked in a room with the wife who left you?’

His features tightened. ‘Maybe I don’t believe in karma then.’

‘Sounds like you’re taking the easy way out.’

‘Or like I’m doing whatever the hell suits me.’ His voice was hard, and surprise pressed her to ask what she’d said that had upset him.

But she didn’t. She didn’t deserve to know.

‘Doing whatever the hell suits you does sound like you’re enjoying this.’

‘Maybe I am. Hard to tell since I’ve forced myself not to feel anything since you left.’

And there it was. The honesty, the vulnerability that had always seeped past the coolness he showed the world. The emotion that showed her how deeply he cared, even when he pretended he didn’t.

It had always managed to penetrate whatever wall she’d put up with him. Or whatever wall he’d put up to make her believe he didn’t feel. But he did. Which made her actions so much worse.

She’d done many stupid things in her life. Most of them because she’d wanted to find out who she was after giving so much of herself to her mother.

Like dropping out of college because she didn’t think they were teaching her what she needed to know about design.

Like moving out when she was tired of being responsible for her mother’s mental health.

Like ignoring her mother’s phone calls for almost two months after she moved out, because she thought Violet was trying to manipulate her into coming back home. When really her mother had been calling to tell her about her cancer.

She hadn’t thought anything about her relationship with Aaron had been stupid. At least she hadn’t until she’d found the lump. Until it had reminded her of how stupid she’d been by choosing not to be tested for breast cancer when her mother’s doctors had advised it.