The Night Mark

“That’s beautiful,” Faye breathed. “What does it all mean?”

“It means a lowly man may never understand the ways of God.”

“And you find that comforting?” she asked.

“A little. If lowly little me could understand God, then he wouldn’t be much of a God, right?”

“I guess,” Faye said.

“I do find this comforting, though—even after God tells Job off, he restores him. New wife. Children. Even more children than he’d lost. Twice as much wealth. And a life so long he meets his great-grandchildren.”

“If only,” Faye said.

“Yes,” Pat said. “If only.”

Faye wiped her face with Pat’s handkerchief again. She didn’t know many men who still carried handkerchiefs. Will always had—a red bandanna in his back pocket just like his dad.

“When Will and I got married, we did all the usual wedding vows. Love, honor, cherish, until death do us part. But that wasn’t good enough for Will. He added one more vow. He said...” She stopped to breathe even though it hurt to breathe, but she kept on doing it. Will would have wanted her to. “He said, ‘Come heaven or hell or high water, I will love you and take care you of you as long as you live, Faye.’ I asked him, ‘Don’t you mean as long as you live?’ He said no. He wasn’t interested in till death do us part. Even if he went first, he would find a way to take care of me. I treasure that vow. I hold it right here,” she said, touching her chest over her heart. “But I’m still waiting for him to keep it.”

Faye squeezed Pat’s hands again. He had nice hands, a younger man’s hands. A painter’s hands even if they did tremble.

“You can’t go back, you know,” Faye said.

“Go back where?” Pat asked.

“Once someone loves you that much, loves you more than you deserve, you can’t go back to being loved the normal way,” she said. “You ever been loved like that?”

“Only by my creator.”

“Pat, I have to tell you something else crazy,” she whispered.

“Tell me something crazy.”

“I think I’m supposed to go the lighthouse,” she said. “I think... I don’t know. I feel like someone wants me out there.”

“What do you hope to find there?” Pat asked, and Faye could tell he really wanted her to think about it before answering. So she thought about it and admitted she didn’t know the answer.

“I don’t want to see any ghosts, and I know Will’s not going to be there waiting for me. But it feels like I’ve had a nightmare, and if I got out there, I’ll wake up and know it was all a dream. I just... Maybe it would help me. Like it helped you.”

Pat took a steadying breath and nodded his head.

“All right. I’ll get you there. But if Ms. Shelby’s out there and catches you, you don’t know me, right?”

“Right. Promise. Never met you.”

“And you have to swear to me you’ll be careful. That lighthouse is old, and the water there is choppy as hell. It’s more dangerous out there than you can imagine. You swear you’ll be safe?”

“I swear,” she said.

“You swear you’ll stay out of the water?” he asked.

“I swear,” she said again. He gave her a long, searching look, then sighed like he knew he was wasting his time. Pat got a sheet of paper and scribbled a little map for her and walked her through the steps of how to find the road with the bridge, what turns to take and when to take them.

“Good enough?” he asked.

“Perfect,” Faye said, folding up the map and shoving it into her back pocket. “Thank you. I should go. I haven’t eaten much today, and I know I’ve taken up way too much of your time.” Faye’s head throbbed from hunger and crying so hard. She’d lost control of herself, something she rarely did. She didn’t want to lose it again in front of this kind old man.

“You made my day, young lady. Beautiful woman in my house? The neighbors are loving this. They can’t wait to find out what I’ve been up to with you in here.”

“Keeping me from having a nervous breakdown.”

“That’s not a very sexy rumor. We’ll have to do better than that.”

“I’m sure you’ll come up with something good. Feel free to ruin my reputation. I wasn’t using it anyway.”

“Count on it.” He helped her to her feet.

Before letting her leave, Pat pulled a small red book off his shelf and pressed it into her hands.

“Take this,” he said.

“What is it?”

“It’s a prayer book, a very special one,” Pat said.

“I’m not really religious.”

“I’m not giving it to you because I want to convert you. But I think you should have it. Please.”

“Are you going to pray for me?”

“For you. For Will. And for Hagen.”

“For Hagen?”

“Ex-husbands are people, too,” he said.

“If you say so,” she said and smiled.

He kissed her goodbye on the cheek and held her hand.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for, Faye,” he said. “But if you don’t find it...”

“I’ll be okay.”

“Just stay out of the water,” Pat said again. “Please.”

Faye promised him faithfully she would and then took her leave.