The Original Sinners: The Red Years

“I’m surprised you didn’t tell him. I know you were trying to scare him off.”

“Only testing his courage to see if he was worthy of you. He impressed me, but still he’s quite in love with his wife. I’ll allow him to hurt you, Eleanor, but if he dares harm you, I will not be happy with him.”

Nora repressed a shiver of fear. She’d seen S?ren not happy with someone who’d hurt her before.

“I appreciate the chivalry. I think I can handle Zach on my own.”

S?ren cupped the side of her face and forced her to meet his eyes.

“Marriage is a sacrament, too, Eleanor. If Zachary offers to finally leave his wife for you, will you run from him as you ran from me?”

“I told you—I didn’t run from you.”

“You can’t have him and Wesley. Neither of them will allow that.”

“I don’t have Wesley. The kid’s been with me for over a year and he’s still a virgin. Obviously I don’t have him.”

“You have him as much as I had you even when you were still a virgin. You believe he remains celibate because of his faith?”

“Of course he does.”

“Wesley is celibate now for the same reason I was celibate eighteen years ago.”

Nora scoffed. “What? Because he’s a priest?”

“No,” S?ren said, leaning in to meet her eye to eye. “Because he’s waiting for you to grow up.”

Nora’s spine stiffened in fury. She took a deep breath and met S?ren’s eyes. “You don’t own me anymore, S?ren.” She said the words slowly, carefully, enunciating one syllable at a time. “Now,” she said, shoving her anger down, “is there anything else, sir?”

“No. There is nothing else. You’ve made up your mind about him. You won’t let him go. And you won’t turn him into one of us. And so you will let him turn you into the one thing you most fear becoming.”

“What? Happy?”

“Boring.”

Nora gasped and raised her hand to slap S?ren’s perfect face. But she’d forgotten how fast he could strike. He grabbed her by the wrist before she could touch him. He pressed her flat back against the elevator. Pinning her right hand above her head while his free hand slipped through the slit in her skirt. Hard and fast he shoved two fingers deep inside her.

“Stop,” she ordered but he only pushed deeper. She panted and cursed him, hating him for how well he knew her body. His probing fingers found her most secret places and dragged her to the edge.

“You were a child when I fell in love with you,” S?ren said into her ear. His warm breath on her neck sent shivers through her whole body. “You’re still a child.”

“I don’t want this,” she said, even as her body betrayed her. Her inner muscles clenched tight around his fingers, her body grew wetter and wetter with each deft movement of his hand.

“I have kept nothing from you. I gave you everything I am. I have risked my calling for you. I will not allow you to destroy yourself.”

“How am I destroying myself?” She gasped the words. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. “By loving someone else?”

“By denying yourself. You don’t love him. You only love that he loves you. This is what you love.” S?ren turned his hand and slipped a third finger inside her. His thumb found her clitoris and rubbed it. “Giving yourself to me completely. Tell me this isn’t who you really are.”

“It isn’t,” she said even as she spread her legs wider and pushed her hips into his hand again and again.

“Liar.” S?ren punctuated his word with a dexterous twist of his fingers, and Nora came hard on his hand, gasping with each sharp, spiking contraction. She leaned against him as the pleasure waned, and he stroked her hair. For a moment she let herself forget she didn’t belong to him anymore.

Nora stood up straight as S?ren pulled his hand out of her. He took a black handkerchief out of his pocket and began casually wiping off his fingers.

“I hate you sometimes.” Nora said the words without venom or remorse.

S?ren reached out and caressed her burning face.

“You’ve been saying that since you were fifteen.”

“You want me to pick you over Wes,” she said, shaking her head. “I won’t do it.”

S?ren leaned in again. His hand moved to her neck, his mouth brushing her shoulder.

“The choice was never Wesley or me,” he said, cupping her breast. Nora felt a rising panic. If she didn’t stop him he would take her here on the floor with Zach just outside. If she didn’t stop herself, she would let him. “The choice is Wesley or you.”

S?ren gripped her by the neck. His fingers dug into her soft skin. It hurt and yet for all the world she didn’t want it to stop. She wanted him to shove her onto the floor, wanted him to hurt her, bruise her, mark her and take everything from her…but she remembered her promise to Wesley, felt a new panic at the thought of losing him. The house would be so empty without him…

Nora pressed close to him. She would never want anyone as she wanted S?ren.

“Jabberwocky,” she whispered into S?ren’s ear.

S?ren’s hands were off her in an instant. Even she was shocked that she’d spoken the word. In all their years together, this was only the second time she’d safed out.

S?ren looked at her. She expected to see fury but he seemed strangely pleased.

“Let me go, S?ren,” she said, too tired to fight him anymore. “I’m on my own now. I love who I love and I fuck who I fuck.”

S?ren reached for the key again but did not turn it.

“You love whom you love. You fuck whom you fuck. I see you do need your editor after all. Go.” With an arrogant smirk he flipped the key and opened the door. Nora rushed out and into Zach’s waiting arms.

“Aren’t you forgetting something, Eleanor?” S?ren called out after her. Nora grimaced and took a deep breath. She tried smiling at Zach before she turned back to S?ren, now standing on the threshold between the hallway and the elevator.

Returning to him, she bobbed the necessary curtsy. But it was not enough for S?ren. He took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. His fingers were still damp from being inside her.

“My little one…” he breathed, turning his face so that his cheek pressed against her forehead. He had done that so many times to her. How many? A million? It never failed to make her forgive him. She met his eyes and smiled, her anger momentarily forgotten. He was still too powerful a force in her life to leave things unfinished between them. She pulled away reluctantly, wondering if she would have to spend the rest of her life leaving this man.

“Oh, cloro al clero.” She sighed and S?ren laughed. It was the real laugh she heard so rarely these days and missed so much. She smiled back and returned to Zach with only the hint of regret in her heart.

Zach still waited patiently for her. Something had indeed changed in him during his time with S?ren. She reached out for her coat, but Zach gave her his hand instead and pulled her close to him. Just because she could, she unwrapped the white scarf from around Zach’s bicep. Zach looked down at her and she winked. She tossed the white scarf at S?ren’s feet. S?ren glanced down at the scarf and then up at her again.

“How easily you forgive, Eleanor.” S?ren stared at them with his wise and all-knowing eyes. “How freely you absolve the sins of others. Tell me, little one, when the time comes, how will you absolve yours?”

Nora had no answer. S?ren merely smiled again and took a step back into the elevator. The doors closed and S?ren descended into the pit below.

Hell was due for another harrowing.