‘I forgot her.’
He pauses, before he glances over his shoulder at me. ‘She’ll get over it.’ He pops the cap off the bottle. ‘These things happen,’ he says as he hands it to me.
‘Twice in as many weeks?’ I gulp down a large mouthful of beer.
He winces. ‘Don’t be too hard on yourself.’
I smile weakly and reach for my handbag. ‘You must let me pay for the pizza.’ Avoiding talking about it, yes, I know, but this is weird for me. I’m a private person. Even if Jason’s a good friend of the family, I’m struggling here.
‘No,’ he says, waving his hand. ‘My treat.’
I pull out my purse. ‘No, really, I feel bad about all this.’ He’s uttering further protest but I’m not really hearing him. I stare down into my purse. There’s a cashpoint slip where the notes should be, but nothing else.
I’m sure I had money in there.
I look in the coin section in case I broke into the notes, and forgot, but all that’s there is about three pounds in silver.
I check the cashpoint receipt. I drew out twenty pounds yesterday.
Strange.
Maybe I did spend it all.
‘Put that away,’ Jason says, gently folding my hand around my purse, so it shuts. ‘Seriously, I’m gonna get cross. Pizza is on me.’
I go to speak but hear Elle coming back to the kitchen. I see she has her tablet in her hand again. ‘Jace? C’mon, film’s started.’
She ignores me, but I’ve seen the screen of her tablet and, thoughts of the missing money pushed aside, take a chance on trying to get her to speak to me, even if it’s a poor choice of subject matter.
‘Haven’t you had enough of reading about that?’
She stares at me and then the tablet, looks bemused.
‘Don’t you think it’s a little insensitive?’
‘How so?’
‘We know Caroline’s parents. I know Caroline.’
‘Knew,’ she corrects me. ‘Knew her.’
I remain silent. Elle’s grown up in an age where she has access to news stories all day via social media, on her mobile, tablet, laptop . . . She’s seeing stories like these all the time and, I worry, becoming almost desensitised to some of it. It’s becoming the norm. A click, read and move on generation.
‘Horrible, that,’ Jason says, craning his neck to see the screen. He’s clearly uncomfortable with how Elle’s treating me and I can’t help but admire him for trying to step in. ‘It makes you worry.’
‘I’m not worried,’ Elle says to him.
‘No?’ Jason says, raising his eyes to meet mine.
‘It’s about being street savvy. They obviously didn’t know how to recognise a dangerous situation when they saw one.’ She looks at me then. ‘Sorry, but it’s like Caroline. She disappeared while walking down a country road because she didn’t get her mum to come and pick her up from her friend’s house at midnight.’ Elle looks to me then. ‘Stupid, right?’
Wow. Cutting, and what’s worse is, I can’t really defend that, can I?
‘That’s a bit harsh,’ Jason says.
I forgot to pick Elle up. Twice. It was daylight hours, but I can’t help feeling she’s unfairly putting the blame on Ruth. Caroline was like Elle. Headstrong and with the sense of arrogance that comes with being young and feeling like you’re invincible. Ruth had told her to call when she needed a lift and Caroline hadn’t. It was that simple and that tragic. Something that could happen to anyone.
‘That’s hardly fair, Elle,’ I say.
She looks at me and then back to the tablet screen. She clicks on another news story, indifferent. ‘Truth hurts.’
She heads back to the living room.
Jason gives me a look.
‘I guess I deserved that.’
‘No, she’s out of line.’
I shake my head. ‘I forgot her and she walked along the Linkway. What if—’
‘She was fine, Charlotte. You’re being too hard on yourself.’
‘How can I make this up to her?’
He smiled. ‘Well, she’s been banging on about driving lessons.’
I cast him a look.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to trivialise anything.’
‘And I’m certainly not buying an apology out of her.’
I drop what remains of my slice of pizza in the bin and stare at the laundry basket, still sitting there from this morning. I begin to sort it, wanting to do anything to take my mind off the situation.
‘Speaking of her birthday,’ he says, ‘I’ve been meaning to ask you what I can get her.’
First Dale, now Jason. I don’t answer him.
I do get the feeling this is leading to something else. I look at him and see an unsettled look pass over his face. I stop putting clothes into the machine.
‘Is there something wrong?’
Jason looks at me abruptly.
‘Because this is starting to feel weird.’
He leans against the kitchen table and I can see the reluctance in his whole body. His shoulders are hunched over, the outline of his sharp shoulder blades protruding through his thin grey T-shirt. He looks over at me and I raise my eyebrows.