Keri nodded against Merline’s shoulder, remembering how the older woman had said something very similar when Keri’s mom had died. Keri had never held what Simon did against his mother because Merline was a gem of a friend, neighbor and loyal customer.
When Keri stepped back, Merline held her hands a bit longer. “I know you are a very independent young woman, but we all need help sometimes. It’s not a sign of weakness. Just keep that in mind.”
Keri nodded because that was all she could manage without sobbing. Merline offered her a sympathetic smile that somehow gave her the strength she’d been searching for all day. After Merline took her leave, Keri only had to speak to a couple more mourners until she and the Spencers were the only people left in the room. Even the funeral home staff had stepped out to give them time to say their final goodbyes.
She sank onto the pew and examined her chewed nails and torn cuticles as the Spencers walked forward toward Ben’s coffin. Keri couldn’t approach Sammi’s yet, not when anyone else was here to watch her. She had to be alone with her sister, one last time.
Holding in the burning need to sob uncontrollably was the hardest thing she’d ever done, made harder by the sounds of Ben’s parents’ grief. Just when she thought they might never leave, she detected movement. Still, she didn’t look up, couldn’t meet their eyes. The Spencers must have sensed that because they didn’t stop next to her. Ben’s dad squeezed her on the shoulder as they passed, leaving her alone to do what had to be done.
Keri didn’t know how long she sat in the pew unable to move. Only the thought of the Spencers waiting to bury their son prompted her to stand, though the few steps it took to reach Sammi’s coffin stretched out like miles. When she looked down at her sister, she couldn’t decide if Sammi looked peaceful or as fake as a mannequin. Didn’t matter. However she looked, this was all that was left of Samantha Jane Mehler Spencer.
Keri’s chin trembled and tears finally spilled from her eyes. “Why did you have to leave?”
She wanted to be able to hug her sister one last time, to tell her how much she loved her. But she couldn’t bring herself to touch the shell that had once been Sammi. She didn’t want to know how cold and lifeless it was. She wanted to remember how warm and full of life her sister had been, how much she’d loved being a wife and mother.
With a trembling hand, Keri reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a locket that held photos of their parents. She tucked it into the nook beneath Sammi’s crossed hands, careful not to touch her.
“Here’s Mom and Dad to keep you company until you can find them.” So many tears flowed now that she could barely see her sister’s face. Unwilling to appear sad and weepy in front of Hannah, she turned toward Ben for a moment and wiped away the evidence of her grief. “You take care of her, okay?” It might look crazy, talking to two people who were no longer there, but she needed to say the words, to make herself feel as if she still had some control, some power over how things should turn out. And as much as Ben had loved her sister in life, she had no doubt he’d be right by her side in the afterlife.
She took a deep, slow breath and turned back to Sammi. Gripping the edge of the coffin to keep herself upright, she took her last look at the sister she’d played with, fought with, competed against and emulated.
“I’ll take good care of Hannah, I promise.” She hesitated, knowing she had to leave but desperately hating the finality of it. With another deep breath, she released her hold on the coffin. “Goodbye, Sammi.”
She turned and headed down the center aisle. Despite all the people waiting for her in the lobby, she’d never felt more alone.
* * *
FOR A WEEK, SIMON KEPT his distance. Instead of allowing himself to walk into the Mehlerhaus Bakery on the pretense of buying a slice of coffee cake, he kept to the opposite side of Main Street. Keri had made her feelings toward him clear with that note under the door. She’d accepted his help only because she hadn’t had a choice.
Now she was back home where her friends could lend a hand and he could go back to being persona non grata.
Still, he wished he could bring her news of Carter. But other than one there-and-back border crossing to Mexico, he’d come up blank so far.
Despite the fact the falling out between Keri and Simon was partially his fault, it still bothered him. Today more so than it had a week ago. Truth was, he was tired of that wall between him and someone who’d once been his friend. As a general rule, he got along with people. Keri’s obvious dislike for him was a burr that just kept digging deeper into his skin.
He replayed how she’d looked the day of the funeral, empty and alone. And he’d unexpectedly wanted to make that loneliness go away.
He didn’t realize he’d stopped on the sidewalk and was staring at the bakery until Justine Ware stepped out of her real estate office behind him.
“How’s she doing?” she asked as she nodded toward the bakery.
“Don’t know. Haven’t seen her since the funeral.”
Justine hugged herself against the chill. “It’s just so sad. I can’t believe Sammi is gone.”
He made a sound of agreement.
“I haven’t gone over there since she came back,” Justine continued. “Don’t know what to say.”
“Not much you can say. Just something she has to get through.”
Justine’s cell rang, prompting her to pull it from her pants pocket. “Sorry, need to take this. Business is slow this time of year, so I pounce on every opportunity I get.”
He nodded as she hurried back inside saying, “Blue Falls Realty” into the phone.
He should head on to work, but he kept standing there watching as the morning crowd went in and out of the bakery’s front door. He really would like a piece of coffee cake. Keri made the best cake of any type in town, though he only ever got a piece when someone brought it into the office. As he entered the crosswalk, he told himself he’d order his cake and a cup of coffee, blend into the crowd, take a quick glance to see how she was doing. Then he’d be off to his day of dealing with law and order.
The moment he stepped into the bakery, he inhaled the heavenly scents of baking bread and wafts of cinnamon. Looked like the rest of the crowd was enjoying its yeasty contact high, as well.
Sunshine was pulling a tray of bread loaves from the oven in the back while Keri handled the in-store crowd’s orders and the phone. The bakery was always busy in the morning, but this crowd seemed extra large. He wondered if the colder weather had everyone craving hot coffee and carbs, or if the residents of Blue Falls were turning out in force to give Keri extra business as a means of condolence. As Justine said, what could you say in this type of situation? Maybe it was as simple as “I’d like a cinnamon roll and a large cup of coffee.”
It all gave him a warm feeling until he saw Jo Baker, queen of the local gossips. His jaw tensed as Jo craned her neck to see beyond the people in front of her, no doubt hungry for a look at Keri, more interested in a morsel of gossip than a pastry. He tensed when it was Jo’s turn at the counter.
“What can I get you?” Keri asked, a bit more clipped than usual.
“Oh, I don’t know.” Jo made a show of examining the offerings in the glass-fronted display case. “How are you doing? So sorry about your sister. Where’s that sweet little girl? I’d love to see how much she’s grown.”
Simon resisted the urge to throttle the woman. “Come on, Jolene,” he said, using her full name because he knew how much she hated it. “Some of us are hungry.”
Keri’s gaze lifted to his, and for the briefest moment he thought he saw gratitude there.
Jo placed her order, gave Keri her money and strode toward the door, giving him a squinty-eyed glare in the process.
As he moved up another spot in line, he heard Hannah start crying somewhere in the back. Keri looked over her shoulder, caught between the throng of customers and her unhappy niece. Before he really thought about what he was doing, he headed for the room that served as Keri’s office.
Hannah stood on shaky legs gripping the side of a playpen, her face red and streaked with tears.
“Hey there,” he said as he crossed the small space. “What’s all this fussing for?” He bent over and playfully poked her nose.
She sucked in a breath then paused, unsure whether to keep crying now that someone was paying her some attention. When she looked as if she might start crying again, he reached into the playpen and lifted her high in the air. “Now there, no more crying. You’re too pretty to be scrunching your face up like that.” He wiggled her in the air, causing her to giggle. He smiled at the sound, surprised how much he liked it.
He’d missed out on his nephew, Evan, at this age, but he was so going to spoil his new niece rotten.
Sunshine popped her head into the office. “Thank you. It’s been nuts all morning.”
“No problem. Hannah and I are already best buds, aren’t we?”
Hannah picked at the top button on his shirt, and he wondered why it seemed to fascinate her.
Sunshine disappeared when the phone rang again, and he seated himself in the cushy chair across from Keri’s desk.
“So, how’s your day going?” he asked.
Hannah paused and gave him a grin that revealed a few tiny teeth.
“Are you flirting with me?”
As if she understood, Hannah giggled again.