‘Lucinda.’
It was his voice that did it. That incredible growl that made her toes curl and her stomach turn over. She closed her eyes and attempted to hold on to her dignity.
‘I need to see you.’
Heavens! Was he talking about what she hoped he was talking about? Had he, like her, spent sleepless nights wishing they were together again? Had he realised that he couldn’t live without her? That what they had was something special, far removed from a brief affair? Her heartbeats were loud and heavy in her breast and she put a hand to her throat.
‘I need you to help me look after Timothy.’
Lucinda’s spirits fell like a sledgehammer, slamming into her senses, making her realise how stupid she had been. Of course he wouldn’t want her for any other reason; he had made that perfectly clear. She had been stupid to even think it. ‘Why?’ she asked, hoping he couldn’t hear the sudden dryness in her throat. ‘Why me?’
‘Because he knows you, he likes you.’
‘I’m not a nanny any longer,’ she reminded him curtly, swallowing her disappointment. Lord knew what she had thought he would say but it certainly hadn’t been anything like that. ‘Besides, how can he remember me when it was so long ago?’
A brief silence, then, ‘You’re someone I know and can trust.’
Lucinda shook her head. He sounded brisk and businesslike, not a man whose bed she had shared night after night. ‘I’m very busy, Zane. I have a lot to catch up on.’
‘Tim’s grandmother’s very poorly. The poor boy has no one but me to look after him.’
‘And you’re naturally too busy.’ Lucinda couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of her voice. ‘And you also have a nerve thinking I’ll drop everything to do your work for you.’
‘I’m missing you, Lucinda.’ It was said quietly, almost regretfully, and she was aware how much it must have cost him to say that. She couldn’t curb a tiny smile. So he wasn’t entirely immune to her? Their brief affair had meant something! Quite what she couldn’t be sure, but it meant that he was possibly suffering the same as she was. Except that she loved him and his feelings were nothing more than lust.
Nevertheless, the thought of seeing him again was extremely tempting.
‘I could set you up an office here so that you won’t get behind with your work.’ And when she didn’t answer he added, ‘Whatever you need will be yours.’
I need you, she thought desperately. I need your love. Not an office. Not looking after your nephew. You! Would this be second best? If she moved into his house, would their affair rekindle itself? Would Zane realise what he was missing? Would he learn to love her the same as she loved him?
Lucinda found it hard to believe that she had fallen in love with Zane after vowing to herself never to trust another man. It just went to show that when the right man came along…
Was Zane the right man? She wouldn’t know unless she took up his challenge. It was the only chance she’d have of seeing him again.
‘Lucinda? Give me your answer.’
She threw her shoulders back, drew in a deep breath and said, ‘I don’t see why I should, but, yes, I suppose I will. Until you sort yourself out at least.’ Whether she’d regret it later she didn’t know, but for the moment she was being given a second chance and she knew that it was something she had to do.
She heard the soft whistle of his breath, knew that he’d been holding it while he waited for her answer. ‘Thank you, Lucinda. I’ll make sure you never regret it. I’ll send a car for you now.’
‘Oh, no, you won’t!’ declared Lucinda vehemently. ‘I have a day’s work to finish. Then I need to go home and pack. I’ll start in the morning.’
‘But—’
‘But nothing, Zane! I’ll come in the morning or not at all.’ And she put down the phone, guessing that he had never had anyone do that to him before. But she didn’t care. He couldn’t walk all over her; she wouldn’t let him. And even now, only seconds after agreeing to help him out, she was having doubts. Would she be making a fool of herself? Was it really only for Tim’s sake that he needed her? Nothing to do with his own feelings! Or was she walking into a trap? He wanted her to mind Tim, yes, but that could be an excuse because he also wanted her body.
For the rest of the day Lucinda found it difficult to concentrate and when she went home that evening and told her mother what she was doing Ruth was delighted. ‘Forget the nanny stuff,’ she declared. ‘He’s missing you. This is fantastic, Lucinda. He’s quite a catch.’
‘I’m not interested in his money, Mother, you know that.’
Ruth shrugged. ‘Whatever. I know he has a reputation, but I think he’s finally been hooked. I knew when you came back from St Lucia that something had happened between you; I could see it in your eyes. I’m happy for you, darling.’
Lucinda didn’t feel happy. She felt worried. And excited! It was an odd mixture of feelings—apprehension laced with anticipation.
When the car came to pick her up she was still feeling unsure. She’d had an almost sleepless night worrying whether she was doing the right thing. It was her heart leading her, not her head, and she feared that she might be on course for disaster. Nevertheless she had to go through with it. Some demon inside drove her on.
The last time she’d been here, recalled Lucinda as the car proceeded along a winding drive lined with plane trees, was when Tim was two. Zane had said that his nephew remembered her but Lucinda wasn’t so sure. Three years was a long time for a child. She had a feeling that Zane had used that as an excuse.
But when they got to the house—a huge red brick building with formal lawns at the front and a swimming pool at the back—she remembered the pool because she had always been fearful that Tim might wander out there and drown—the door opened and Timothy himself stood shyly on the step. She caught sight of an older woman in the background.
How he had grown! She hurried towards him and gave him a big hug. ‘I’ve missed you,’ she said with a warm smile. ‘What a big boy you are now.’
He smiled at her then. ‘I remember you,’ he said slowly. ‘I think. You looked after me.’
‘I certainly did and I’m going to look after you again. Where’s your uncle?’
‘At work,’ he announced importantly. ‘He’s a very busy man, that’s why he needs someone else to look after me while Nanna is in hospital. She’s very poorly.’
Lucinda nodded. ‘So I hear. Shall we go inside?’
Tim nodded and put his hand trustingly into hers.
Lucinda’s heart went out to him.
Her bags were carried up to the room she had used the last time she was here. It was next to Tim’s and the fact that she had been given this room told her in no uncertain manner that this was going to be her place, that Zane had no intention of asking her to share his bed. She ought to have known. And, for just a few seconds, she wished that she had never come. And then she looked at Tim and knew that she had done the right thing.
Zane had a housekeeper, Mrs Burton, and a maid and sometimes a butler if he was entertaining, but none of them were qualified to look after Tim. Had he left his nephew in their care these last few days? she wondered. Or had he taken time off himself? Somehow she doubted it; he’d been away from his affairs too long, the same as she had.
His staff had probably coped but he’d felt that he needed someone more professional. Though why he had asked her when he could have rung any agency he liked she didn’t know. If her sleeping arrangements had been any different she would have suspected that he wanted to carry on their affair—but his instructions told her very clearly that this was not the case.
It was late evening before Zane came home, which was very much what Lucinda had expected. There was not much about him that surprised her. She was curled up on a sofa in the sitting room watching TV. She had been tempted to go to her room, to make a point of telling him that she knew where her place was, but had decided against it at the last minute.
And she hadn’t really been watching TV. Her ears had been alerted to his return and she’d scarcely heard what the characters in the film were saying.
‘So you really came.’
Lucinda’s heart thumped so hard that she thought he must surely see it throbbing against her ribcage. Zane hadn’t changed at all. He was still magnificently handsome, still had the same gorgeous smoky blue eyes and still had the power to turn her world upside down.
Not surprising considering it was only a few days since she had last seen him. Yet it felt like a lifetime. And now she was here Lucinda wondered whether she had made a big mistake. There was nothing in Zane’s eyes to tell her that he was as delighted as she. They were matter of fact and considering, watching her gravely for a few seconds before he stepped further into the room.
‘How’s Tim?’
Not How are you? But How’s Tim? Not, I’ve missed you. Nothing like that! It felt like a slap in the face. ‘He’s fast asleep.’
‘Was he pleased to see you?’
Lucinda nodded. ‘I was surprised he remembered me.’