His Girl Next Door: The Army Ranger's Return / New York's Finest Rebel / The Girl from Honeysuckle Farm

When Ryan grinned at her she couldn’t help but do the same back.

“Shall we head back to the car?” he asked her.

Jessica nodded. And when he reached for her hand and took it against his big palm, she didn’t resist. His skin was smooth but worn, a testament to the work he did.

Now there was no mistaking it.

This was definitely, without a doubt, one hundred percent a date.

Jessica wondered if it was possible for a heart to beat so hard that it could pump right through a chest cavity.

It didn’t matter what she did, hers was heaving away so madly she could barely concentrate. She only hoped Ryan couldn’t hear it.

He walked around and opened the door. This time when he’d pulled up, she’d sat there in her seat, hadn’t moved. And now he was towering above her.

Jessica gulped and forced herself to step out. She was torn. Part of her wanted another breathtaking, spine-numbing kiss. For Ryan to hold her in his arms and cocoon her, wrap her tight against him and kiss the breath from her over and over again.

But the other part told her to scurry inside her house as fast as she could. To never look back and to forget what had happened. No letting herself hope. Or think about what he’d said in the restaurant. Because no matter how much she liked him or wanted to take things further, his words had echoed in her mind over and over, reminding her of what he’d been through, telling her to be careful.

Reminding her of what he never wanted to go through again.

And it made her feel like she was deceiving him.

“It was great seeing you tonight, Jess.”

Ryan held out his hand and she took it. Tried to ignore the tingle she felt when their skin connected.

He didn’t let go.

“I had a really good time.” Her voice was failing her, going all soft and breathy, but she couldn’t help it.

He twisted her hand gently so their palms fell together and pushed the door shut with his other.

Ryan walked her up the path to her front door, slowly. “Good enough that you don’t want it to end?”

“Yeah,” she admitted. Only she couldn’t ask him in. She wasn’t ready for what it might mean or what he might think it meant.

“Can I call you tomorrow?”

Jessica was relieved he wasn’t going to ask if he could come in. She would have been powerless to say no if he’d given her the option.

“Until tomorrow,” she agreed.

“Well, I guess it’s good night then,” he murmured.

Jessica tried not to wriggle. He still had hold of her hand, was turning her palm over so her wrist was facing up.

“’Night,” she whispered.

Ryan smiled at her, a lazy smile that made her heart start thumping wildly all over again.

He brought his lips down slowly to her wrist, pressed a kiss there, then turned her hand back over. The touch of his lips, soft and pillowy, left an emotional indent on her skin.

It was one of the most intimate touches she’d ever experienced.

Ryan walked a few steps backward while she stood there. Immobile. She looked up at him and for a moment, words refused to form in her throat.

Then he took her breath away. “You know, I think you might just be better in real life than you were on paper,” he said and he laughed as he turned, hand raised up over his head in a wave goodbye.

Jessica laughed until tears sprang into her eyes and she didn’t miss the cheeky grin on his face as he winked before driving off. You are, too, she thought. You are so much better in real life than on paper, and I never could have imagined it.

Tonight had been crazy. Amazing.

But scary too.

Because here she was, standing on her porch, watching the taillights of his car disappear down the road, feeling like she had maybe, just maybe, fallen head over heels in love with a man who wasn’t within her reach.

If they’d met under different circumstances, maybe it would have been different. But she’d promised herself time to heal, to not let anyone else in, and here she was wishing things could be different.

And Ryan didn’t want this, either. He might think he did, but he didn’t. Not if he knew the truth about her.

He had told her what had happened with his wife, she knew how much it had hurt him, the demons it had created that he’d never truly been able to shake. And tonight, he’d made it clear he could never cope with cancer again. Had spoken of it like the hideous disease it was.

But cancer was still as much a part of her life right now as her family was. It wasn’t something she could pretend she’d never had or might never have again in the future. She was in the safe zone now, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t come back or haunt her again one day. Unlikely, given the fact she’d had an elective double mastectomy, but it still worried her every day.

She knew what losing someone was like—the disease had taken her sister, too. So she couldn’t blame Ryan for how he felt.

So would it be lying if she didn’t tell him? If she just enjoyed his company while he was here, before he was redeployed? Would that make her a bad person, after what he’d told her tonight?

Jessica wiped tears away as they fell, heavy on her cheeks. This time she wasn’t laughing. This time her tears hurt.

She wasn’t going to say no to fun, but what had happened tonight hadn’t just felt like fun.

It had felt like the start of something great.

Jessica heard shuffling then scratching on the other side of the door. It brought the smile back to her face.

“Hey, Herc.”

She unlocked the door and picked her scruffy little boy up, holding him close to her chest. He licked at her face, tucked tightly against her body.

“Hey, baby. Come on, let’s go to bed.”

Hercules wriggled to get down and danced down the hall, his tiny feet padding on the carpet. He looked up at her, waiting, happy about tucking up in bed beside her.

“At least I’ll always have you, huh?”

His tongue lolled out, as if he was smiling up at her.