His Girl Next Door: The Army Ranger's Return / New York's Finest Rebel / The Girl from Honeysuckle Farm

“It’s just …”

He nodded. “I know.”

She wondered if he did. If he understood how conflicted she felt.

And still they stood there, bodies locked together.

“Can I make it up to you and cook you dinner this weekend?”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “I must be missing something here.”

“What?”

He dropped a kiss to her nose then took a step back. Jess shivered. She hadn’t been ready to let any air between them yet, could have stood like that all night. Against his rock-hard, strong body, and melted against that soft, pillowy mouth of his all evening.

“What do you need to make up to me?” he asked.

“For the way my brother was. The way tonight turned out.”

He caught her hand and traced a finger across her palm. “Believe me, sweetheart, you more than made up for his frostiness.”

Jessica’s entire body felt hot, clammy. She wasn’t used to being so bold, and she certainly wasn’t used to talking about her actions. “He’s, well, protective over me. We lost my sister a few years back, and he’s made it his personal mission to keep me safe.”

She wasn’t lying. The fact they’d lost their sister had made Steven protective. Her ending up with the same cancer had made him worse, spurred his “big bad wolf” routine into action, but keeping that part from Ryan wasn’t the same as not telling the truth.

“I’ve met my share of tough guys, Jess, and your brother doesn’t strike me as anything other than worried about his little sister making a bad choice. He just wants to keep you safe, right?”

She liked the kindness on Ryan’s face, the way he looked so open. It was not how she’d expected him to be. The soldier who’d seemed so tortured on paper was surprisingly unmessed-up in real life. Or else he was just really good at disguising it.

“I still want to make it up to you.”

He grinned. “I’d like that.”

Jessica didn’t know where to look. His eyes were shining at her, suggesting things she wasn’t sure about. Things she might want but maybe wasn’t ready for. Yet.

“So dinner Sunday night?” she offered.

“Yeah.” Ryan squeezed her hand and opened his door. “Maybe you could tell me about your sister.”

Jess felt a shiver trawl her spine, her pulse suddenly thumping. She didn’t want to go there. Didn’t want to tell him how her sister had died, without being able to admit what she’d been through.

It was too close. Still too real for her to open up to him. And if she told him the truth, about her sister dying and then her getting the same disease, he would know she’d been lying all this time. That she’d listened to him talk about his wife, listened to him say he didn’t ever want to be in that position again, and pretended she was fine. When she hadn’t been fine, and still might not be.

“Maybe.”

He didn’t seem put out. Relief washed through her as he casually shrugged. “I’ll see you Sunday.”

She pushed his car door shut when he put down the window.

“Sunday,” she affirmed.

Ryan pulled away slowly from the curb.

She watched him for a moment, then walked back to the house. Even though she felt a little guilty, that she should have just told him from the very beginning what had happened to her last year, about the breast cancer, it was so nice that he didn’t know.

Would he hold her the same if he knew? Or would he think her as breakable as a tiny bird? Would he want her so bad if he knew what she’d been through? Especially when his wife had battled something similar and lost. From what he’d so honestly told her, she already knew the answer to that.

Jessica looked up and found Steve leaning in the door frame, his body filling the space. She glared at him.

“How long have you been standing there?”

He shrugged, not even caring he’d been found out, that she’d caught him as good as spying on her. “Long enough.”

She gave him a shove in the shoulder and walked past him.

Once upon a time he would have shoved her back, grabbed her and made her beg for mercy, the way they’d been as kids, play fighting at every opportunity.

Tonight he just shut the door and followed. “You really like this guy, don’t you?”

“He’s only here for a couple of months.”

He grabbed her shoulder, his fingers firm enough to stop her. She didn’t turn.

“That wasn’t my question.”

Jess spun around. “So what? So what if I do?”

His eyes crumpled, the creases at the side of his eyes, the ones that hadn’t been there before she’d battled her cancer, appearing. Jessica hated seeing the way he’d aged.

She relaxed against his touch. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“I was going to say that he actually seemed like a nice guy.”

Jessica let out a shuddering breath. “He is.”

“And I can tell he likes you.”

She closed her eyes, embarrassed. Had Steve seen the way she’d kissed him? “But …?”

“But he’s going away soon and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Argh. There he went again. Just when she was starting to think he wasn’t going to interfere. But he was only telling her what she already knew.

“I know what I’m getting myself into, Steve.”

She turned to walk away again, but his words made her stop.

“But does he?” Her brother paused. She could feel him behind her but he didn’t touch her this time, didn’t try to stop her from walking away. “You need to tell him, Jess. He needs to know.”