Daddy

Things to remember (#litres_trial_promo)

21. My Baby is the Boss of Me (#litres_trial_promo)

Am I spoiling my child?

The early symptoms (#litres_trial_promo)

Even parents get homework (#litres_trial_promo)

Don’t let the tears fool you (#litres_trial_promo)

It’s time for some tough love (#litres_trial_promo)

Teaching habits (#litres_trial_promo)

Things to remember (#litres_trial_promo)

22. Keeping the Little One Entertained (#litres_trial_promo)

Games galore

Gadget geeks start early (#litres_trial_promo)

With a little help from friends (#litres_trial_promo)

Malls vs open spaces (#litres_trial_promo)

When to allow TV (#litres_trial_promo)

Encourage physical activities (#litres_trial_promo)

Power of age-old story telling (#litres_trial_promo)

Things to remember (#litres_trial_promo)

23. Protecting Your Baby (#litres_trial_promo)

Don’t panic! This too shall pass

Are vaccines optional? (#litres_trial_promo)

Common illnesses (#litres_trial_promo)

Things to remember (#litres_trial_promo)

An Expert Take—by Dr. Santanu Sen (#litres_trial_promo)

An Expert Take—by Dr. Ninad Hebbalkar (#litres_trial_promo)

24. Teaching Your Tot (#litres_trial_promo)

School’s in session

Do we need one? (#litres_trial_promo)

How to find the perfect school (#litres_trial_promo)

The first day (#litres_trial_promo)

Things to remember (#litres_trial_promo)

Section G: A CASE FOR INVOLVED FATHERHOOD (#litres_trial_promo)

25. Fatherhood across Generations (#litres_trial_promo)

The way we were

My daddy strongest (#litres_trial_promo)

Things I’d do differently (#litres_trial_promo)

26. A Letter to My Son (#litres_trial_promo)

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again (#litres_trial_promo)

Fathers Interviewed for the Book (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)

Prologue (#ulink_88ac2a35-6e8d-525f-abc2-cba2a932ef3a)

As I dwell upon what has been the most beautiful phase of my life, I feel blessed to have enjoyed the unflinching support of several kind-hearted souls who shared my joys and sorrows through this journey. Some of these relationships were inherited; others formed, often unsuspectingly, at different stages of life. The inherited relationships constitute what we call family, while the acquired ones include my circle of friends.

They say birth, death and marriages are made in heaven. What that implies is that we were destined to be born to a certain set of parents, marry a certain man or woman, and have a certain being as our son or daughter. While we choose our friends, the people with whom we’re closest to were perhaps always meant to be a part of our lives. An invisible, divine force plays a crucial role in determining these relationships.

The Hindu religion accords great reverence to our lineage. An important ritual in most of our pujas is to pay homage to our forefathers. The last five ancestral fathers in a family are invoked by the priest through chants and prayers and their blessings sought. I have always felt a strange kinship with those names, most of whom I have never seen or met. I don’t know what they looked like; how different their lives were from the ones we lead today and yet, I know that I am in this world because of them. I owe my existence to the vast lineage to which my forefathers and I belong. So while documenting my journey forward, I feel a strong urge to thank them for taking their generations ahead. They form the foundation of my being, my values and my beliefs.

In addition to the reverence that I have always had for my father, about whom I talk later in detail, I also greatly admire four other father figures who are worthy of emulation. Each of them belong to a different world—mythology, literature, sports and films. Their lives are a true celebration of fatherhood.

These are the stories of Nandaraj and his foster son Krishna, spiritual partners Debendranath and Rabindranath Tagore, novelist Ramesh Tendulkar and cricketing genius Sachin Tendulkar, and Aamir Khan and his surrogate son Azad Rao Khan.

Nandaraj & Krishna

According to Bhagavata Purana, Krishna was born not out of a sexual union, but by a divine ‘transmission’ from the mind of Vasudeva to the womb of Devaki. He was born in a prison during a period of political turbulence in Mathura. King Kansa, Devaki’s brother-had ascended the throne by imprisoning his father King Ugrasena. Afraid of a prophecy that predicted his death at the hands of Devaki’s eighth ‘garbha’, Kansa locked the couple in a prison cell and killed their first six children.

Krishna narrowly escaped death when he was secretly handed over by Vasudeva to his foster parents, Yashoda and Nandaraj, immediately after his birth. Nanda was the head of a community of cow-herders who belonged to Vrindavana. What fascinates me is the sheer selflessness with which Nanda offered to adopt Krishna and in the process risked his own new-born daughter Yogamaya’s life by handing her over to Vasudeva. He accepted Krishna and raised him with all the love his own father could not provide.

Scriptures do not delve deep into the motivation behind Nanda’s grand gesture. But what I learnt from the story is that fatherhood is a state of mind. It means protecting a young life from imminent perils and nurturing it to realise its true worth.