Rose
And I've decided that if I ever have a son he shall go there too.
[The Admiral starts and pulls the handkerchief off his face. The others do not notice him. He is aghast and astounded at the conversation. Lady Frederick comes in later andstands smiling as she listens.
Gerald
My darling, you know I hate to thwart you in any way, but I've quite made up my mind that my son shall go to Dublin as I did.
Rose
I'm awfully sorry, Gerald, but the boy must be educated like a gentleman.
Gerald
There I quite agree, Rose, but first of all he's an Irishman, and it's right that he should be educated in Ireland.
Rose
Darling Gerald, a mother's love is naturally the safest guide in these things.
Gerald
Dearest Rose, a father's wisdom is always the most reliable.
Lady Frederick
Pardon my interfering, but – aren't you just a little previous?
Admiral
[Bursting out.] Did you ever hear such a conversation in your life between a young unmarried couple?
Rose
My dear papa, we must be prepared for everything.
Admiral
In my youth young ladies did not refer to things of that sort.
Lady Frederick
Well, I don't suppose they're any the worse for having an elementary knowledge of natural history. Personally I doubt whether ignorance is quite the same thing as virtue, and I'm not quite sure that a girl makes a better wife because she's been brought up like a perfect fool.
Admiral
I am old-fashioned, Lady Frederick; and my idea of a modest girl is that when certain topics are mentioned she should swoon. Swoon, madam, swoon. They always did it when I was a lad.
Rose
Well, father, I've often tried to faint when I wanted something that you wouldn't give me, and I've never been able to manage it. So I'm sure I couldn't swoon.
Admiral
And with regard to this ridiculous discussion as to which University your son is to be sent, you seem to forget that I have the right to be consulted.
Gerald
My dear Admiral, I don't see how it can possibly matter to you.
Admiral
And before we go any further I should like you to know that the very day Rose was born I determined that her son should go to Cambridge.
Rose
My dear papa, I think Gerald and I are far and away the best judges of our son's welfare.
Admiral
The boy must work, Rose. I will have no good-for-nothing as my grandson.
Gerald
Exactly. And that is why I'm resolved he shall go to Dublin.
Rose
The important thing is that he should have really nice manners, and that they teach at Oxford if they teach nothing else.
Lady Frederick
Well, don't you think you'd better wait another twenty years or so before you discuss this?
Admiral
There are some matters which must be settled at once, Lady Frederick.
Lady Frederick
You know, young things are fairly independent nowadays. I don't know what they'll be in twenty years' time.
Gerald
The first thing the boy shall learn is obedience.
Rose. Certainly. There's nothing so hateful as a disobedient child.