Mereston
It's awfully good of you to say so.
Lady Frederick
[Turning.] Do I look a fright?
Mereston
Oh, no, not at all.
Lady Frederick
I love this powder. It plays no tricks with you. Once I put on a new powder that I bought in Paris, and as soon as I went into artificial light it turned a bright mauve. I was very much annoyed. You wouldn't like to go about with a mauve face, would you?
Mereston
No, not at all.
Lady Frederick
Fortunately I had a green frock on. And mauve and green were very fashionable that year. Still I'd sooner it hadn't been on my face… There. I think that'll do as a foundation. I'm beginning to feel younger already. Now for the delicate soft bloom of youth. The great difficulty, you know, is to make both your cheeks the same colour. [Turning to him.] Charlie, you're not bored, are you?
Mereston
No, no.
Lady Frederick
I always think my observations have a peculiar piquancy when I have only one cheek rouged. I remember once I went out to dinner, and as soon as I sat down I grew conscious of the fact that one of my cheeks was much redder than the other.
Mereston
By George, that was awkward.
Lady Frederick
Charlie, you are a good-looking boy. I had no idea you were so handsome. And you look so young and fresh, it's quite a pleasure to look at you.
Mereston
[Laughing awkwardly.] D'you think so? What did you do when you discovered your predicament?
Lady Frederick
Well, by a merciful interposition of Providence, I had a foreign diplomatist on my right side which bloomed like a rose, and a bishop on my left which was white like the lily. The diplomatist told me risky stories all through dinner so it was quite natural that this cheek should blush fiery red. And as the Bishop whispered in my left ear harrowing details of distress in the East End, it was only decent that the other should exhibit a becoming pallor. [Meanwhile she has been rouging her cheeks.] Now look carefully, Charlie, and you'll see how I make the Cupid's bow which is my mouth. I like a nice healthy colour on the lips, don't you?
Mereston
Isn't it awfully uncomfortable to have all that stuff on?
Lady Frederick
Ah, my dear boy, it's woman's lot to suffer in this world. But it's a great comfort to think that one is submitting to the decrees of Providence and at the same time adding to one's personal attractiveness. But I confess I sometimes wish I needn't blow my nose so carefully. Smile, Charlie. I don't think you're a very ardent lover, you know.
Mereston
I'm sorry. What would you like me to do?
Lady Frederick
I should like you to make me impassioned speeches.
Mereston
I'm afraid they'd be so hackneyed.
Lady Frederick
Never mind that. I've long discovered that under the influence of profound emotion a man always expresses himself in the terms of the Family Herald.
Mereston
You must remember that I'm awfully inexperienced.
Lady Frederick
Well, I'll let you off this time – because I like your curly hair. [She sighs amorously.] Now for the delicate arch of my eyebrows. I don't know what I should do without this. I've got no eyebrows at all really… Have you ever noticed that dark line under the eyes which gives such intensity to my expression?
Mereston
Yes, often.
Lady Frederick
[Holding out the pencil.] Well, here it is. Ah, my dear boy, in this pencil you have at will roguishness and languor, tenderness and indifference, sprightliness, passion, malice, what you will. Now be very quiet for one moment. If I overdo it my whole day will be spoilt. You mustn't breathe even. Whenever I do this I think how true those lines are:
"The little more and how much it is.
The little less and what worlds away."
There! Now just one puff of powder, and the whole world's kind. [Looking at herself in the glass and sighing with satisfaction.] Ah! I feel eighteen. I think it's a success, and I shall have a happy day. Oh, Betsy, Betsy, I think you'll do. You know, you're not unattractive, my dear. Not strictly beautiful, perhaps; but then I don't like the chocolate-box sort of woman. I'll just go and take off this dressing-gown. [Mereston gets up.] No, don't move. I'll go into my bedroom. I shall only be one moment. [Lady Frederick goes through the curtains.] Angélique.
[The Maid enters.
Maid
Yes, miladi.