You must be devilish hungry.
Alec
Now you mention it, I think I am. And thirsty, by Jove! I wouldn't give my thirst for an elephant tusk.
Dick
And to think there's nothing but tepid water to drink!
Doctor
I'll go and tell the boy to bring you some food. It's a rotten game to play tricks with your digestion like that.
Alec
[Gaily.] Stern man, the doctor, isn't he? It won't hurt me once in a way. And I shall enjoy it all the more now.
Doctor
[Calling.] Selim!
Alec
No, don't trouble. The poor chap's just turned in, dropping with sleep. I told him he might till I called him. I don't want much, and I can easily get it myself. [He goes to a case and takes out a tin of meat and some ship's biscuits.] It's rather a nuisance that we've not been able to get any game lately.
[He sets the food down before him, sits down, and begins to eat.
Dick
[Ironically.] Appetising, isn't it?
Alec
Splendid!
Dick
You have all the instincts of the primeval savage, Alec. It enrages and disgusts me.
Alec
[With a laugh.] Why?
Dick
You take food for the gross and bestial purpose of appeasing your hunger. You have no appreciation for the delicacies of eating as a fine art.
Alec
The meat's getting rather mouldy, isn't it?
Dick
Damnable! It's been a source of great anxiety to me in England.
Alec
What is he talking about now?
Dick
I was going on with the thread of my observations, which you interrupted with the entirely obvious remark that the tinned meat was getting mouldy.
Alec
I apologise profusely. Pray go on!
Dick
I was about to observe that even in England you will eat the most carefully ordered meal with an indifference which is an outrage to decency. Indeed, you pay less attention to it than here, because at all events you do notice that the meat is mouldy. But if any one gives you a good dinner, you notice nothing. I've given him priceless port, Doctor, and he drank it as though it were cooking sherry.
Doctor
I confess it is lamentable. But why is it a source of anxiety to you?
Dick
What on earth is to happen to him in his old age?
Alec
Explain yourself, my friend. Clearly but with as much brevity as possible.
Dick
The pleasure of eating is the only pleasure that remains to the old. Love – what is love when you lose your figure, and your hair grows thin? Knowledge – one can never know everything, and the desire passes with the fire of youth. Even ambition fails you in the end. But to those who have lived wisely and well, there remain three pleasures every day of their lives: their breakfast, their luncheon, and their dinner.
Alec
[With a laugh.] I wouldn't worry about my old age if I were you, Dick.
Dick
Why?
Alec
Because I think it's ten to one that we shall all be dead to-morrow morning.