The Idol

Anna. I’d like some tea! I am feeling cold a bit.

Vasil. Levan, two cups of tea, please!

Levan. Would you like some cakes? They are absolutely fresh.

Vasil. No, I don’t need them.

Levan. Don’t need, don’t need! Again, the cakes are going to get dry. Take your tea and go, got it?!

Vasil. Annushka, please drink your tea while it’s hot.

Anna. Thanks, my dear!

Tomov. I’d have a stiffener now, what about you, Vasil? Just a little bit, since I am so tired.

Vasil. That’s true. But I don’t need it.

Tomov. Or maybe your wife makes you save money? So, just tell me the truth, don’t wag the tail like a dog.

Anna. Shame on you, Oleg!

Tomov. Go, tell me!

Vasil. Yes, a wife is a wife.

Anna. Got it?!

Tomov. You are such boring people. One can’t even have fun with you.

Anna. Why can’t? You are welcome but mind your jokes. Levanchik, dear, was there some mail?

Levan. Are you also waiting for a letter, eh?

Anna. Don’t be so curious. It doesn’t become to you!

Levan. What have I said? Why are you getting angry? Would you like a newspaper?

Anna. Take a guess!

Levan. You think I spare it, eh?

Tomov. Anna, Levan is a good guy. Don’t beat him, you will need him in future.

Anna. Go on, the floor is yours… (taking a newspaper).

Vasil. What are they saying, Annuska?

Tomov. What can they say? Just some idle things for emotional girls and old people.

Anna. Oleg, you are a pain in the neck. How many people told you this?

Tomov. Surprisingly, you are the only for today. Oh man! And she is my best friend’s wife!

Alla. Aren’t you going to defend honor?

Sumyatov. No, thanks.

Alla. Are you consoling yourself with the thought that It wasn’t addressed to you?

Sumyatov. It might be to me also. Whatever!

Anna. Oh, guys, I can’t believe it!

Levan. Hey, what’s that? Why are you shouting, eh?

Vasil. Can I look at it?

Tomov. It’s him! He looks so real.

Mancev. What’s the matter?

Anna. (reading). «On the photo: an adventurous conqueror of the forbidding Devil’s Fang mountain-climber Victor Mancev».

Tomov. Vityok, can I shake your brave hand?

Mancev. Why is there me only?

Vasil. Don’t get upset, we don’t mind at all.

Mancev. But why?!

Anna. Oh, there is an urgent message here.

Tomov. What’s that?

Anna. Don’t tear up the newspaper!

Mancev. Anna, read aloud.

Anna. (reading). «Avalanche in Mountains».

Tomov. Hey, everybody get silent!

Anna. (reading). «Last night the dwellers of the local villages heard a threatening rumble…» We heard nothing didn’t we, Vasil?

Tomov. You were sleeping like gophers in their holes.

Anna. Hey, you!