The Curse of Hermes Trismegistus

Golyshkin. Then do persuade me, Mr. Myshevsky! I would be even glad. But before taking this Sisyphean labor (http://www.multitran.ru/c/m.exe?t=3273562_1_2)… would you like a cup of tea?

Myshevskiy. I would prefer black coffee with no sugar, no milk.

Golyshkin. As for me, I prefer green tea with jasmine. It smells marvelous!

Myshevskiy. I heard that jasmine has a smell of disease. And black coffee smells like revenge.

Golyshkin. Oh, I would never think of that! Okay, let it be your way, Mr. Myshevsky. Drink your coffee enjoying the idea of revenge. Meanwhile I will be diving into disease. Then you will tell me what brought you here.

The doorbell is ringing at the entrance hall. Rodion having changed his pajamas for jeans and shirt opens the door. Olga comes in with a medical case in her hands. She comes up to the mirror patting her hair. The young lady is dressed modestly wearing a cheap skirt and a blouse.

Rodion. Hello Olenka! Wow! Hotcha! You look more and more irresistible each day!

Olga. Oh, here you are, Rodion… How is Stalver Sigizmundovich doing? Don’t see me off, I know the way to his room.

Rodion. Olga Alekseevna! Maybe I am goofy but I can’t understand what is my fault.

Olga. How should I know? Ask your father about it.

Rodion. I can’t. He is talking to a very cool buddy now. They are bouncing off some cool stuff. So, Olenka, you will have to wait. There is vodka and coca-cola… Would you like a cocktail of Jim Morrison?

Olga. Listen, Rodion, it looks like you have nothing to do, is that right? Are you hanging around doing nothing or is it your work?

Rodion. What are you talking about Olga Alekseevna? Please, do explain for me, stupid guy!

Olga. Each time when I come to see Stalver Udarpyatovich I see you at home. So, my conclusion is that you are either an absolute idler living on your father’s means or a sheik.

Rodion. Actually, I am like pants without a shirt. I am living free life with no responsibility.

Olga. Don’t waste your time then. I don’t care about men of such type.

Rodion. Whatever… what machos do you care about?

Olga. Speaking your slang I like hot and pricy machos.

Rodion. Oh, such a pain…

Olga. All women are like that! Why would I be an exception? Am I a fright? Am I stupid?

Rodion. Oh no, Olenka! You are a pussy cat. Sweet pussy cat!

Olga. That’s it, my little boy!

Rodion. Oh shucks! I am not a little boy. If I have no bucks it’s not the reason to call me sucker.

Olga. Take it easy, cowboy! Only boiled eggs are harder than you and only stars are higher. However, I call a boy any man not capable to fulfill my dream.

Rodion. What’s that shit? Don’t make pickle-puss, tell me! Olya! Please tell me!

Olga. Well… That shit as you, dude, called it are the Iguazu Waterfalls.

Rodion. Holy cow! Where is it?

Olga. It’s in Brazil. Nothing in the world could be as beautiful as the Iguazu Waterfalls. Just imagine: more than three hundreds flows are simultaneously cascading from the towering height. And there is an internal rainbow created by a billion of water drops and the sun. I saw it on TV.

Rodion. I thought that all pussy cats dream of Paris.

Olga. You mean to see Paris and die at the top of the Eiffel Tower? This is really a bullshit!

Rodion. But Brazil is too far! I guess the antipode people must live there…

Olga. That’s right, smart cookie! When it is winter at our country they are enjoying summer. When we are crying they are singing. Is that enough or should I go on?

Rodion. Enough.

Olga. So, when will I see the Iguazu Waterfalls?

Rodion. Such a prick!

Olga. Now you see, why you are just a boy?

Rodion. I see, pussy cat…

Olga. Come on, don’t be sulky! You are a very good boy, Rodion. But I am not going to try this temptation any more.

Rodion. So, what if…?

Olga. What do you mean?

Rodion. I am not a dude, Olya. Okay, let’s a assume that you will have these waterfalls. Will you look at me another way then?

Olga. The Iguazu Waterfalls first and then we will see.

Rodion. Olya, please do answer. It’s very important for me!

Olga. My good little boy! I think I could really love you…

Rodion. Go on!

Olga. Rodion, please set my hands free! Otherwise I am going to complain your father and he will punish you.

Rodion. You are laughing at me, Olya!

Olga. Should I cry? Oh, no way! Such times had passed long ago. Once upon a time, at one apocalyptic day of my life I was lying on a hospital bed bowelled and devastated and I swore. Oh, that was a terrible vow! From now on I will never take trust any man in the world. I am not going to break my vow even for the sake of such good little boy as you are.

Rodion. Go on laughing at me! But believe me – once everything will change.

Olga. I will wait for such a day, Rodion.