Quaint Epitaphs

And dodged a deal of evil.
But after dodging all he could
He could not dodge the devil.

On the tombstone of a disagreeable old man

"Deeply regretted by all who never knew him."

Here lies Jim Shaw, attorney-at-law.
When he died the devil cried,
Give me your paw, Jim Shaw,
Attorney at law.

Here lies my wife a sad slatterned shrew
If I said I regretted her I should lie too.

Here lies Ann Mann.
She lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.

Here lies Ned Hyde because he died.
If it had been his sister
We should not have missed her.
But would rather it had been his father
Or for the good of the nation
The whole generation.

On a well-known pill doctor

His virtues and his pills are so well known
That envy can't confine them under stone.

Throughout his life he kneaded bread
And deemed it quite a bore.
But now six feet beneath earth's crust
He needeth bread no more.

Listen, Mother, Aunt and me
Were killed, here we be.
We should not had time to missle
Had they blown the engine whistle.

Here lies the remains of

John Hall grocer

The world is not worth a fig
I have good raisins for saying so.

Amanda Lowe

She loved me and my grandchildren reverenced her. She bathed my feet and kept my socks well darned.

A bird, a man, a loaded gun.
No bird, dead man, thy will be done.

IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES

At St. Mary le Bone.

Queen Elizabeth

(By Laureate Skelton.)

Fame blow aloud, and to the world proclaim,
There never ruled such a royal dame!
The word of God was ever her delight,
In it she meditated day and night.
Spain's rod, Rome's ruin, Netherland's relief,
Earth's joy, England's gem, world's wonder,
Nature's chief.
She was and is, what can there more be said,
On earth the chief, in Heaven the second made.

In Harrow Churchyard.

(Ascribed to Lord Byron.)

Beneath these green trees rising to the skies,
The planter of them, Isaac Greentree lies!
A time shall come when these green trees shall fall,
And Isaac Greentree rise above them all.

Surrey, England.

The Lord was good I was lopping off wood
And down fell from a tree.
I met with a check that broke my neck
And so God lopped off me.

Here lies John Higley whose father and mother were drowned in their passage from America. Had they both lived they would have been buried here.

Aberdeen, Scotland.

Here lies Martin Elmrod.
Have mercy on my soul, good God
As I would do were I Lord God
And you were Martin Elmrod.

Here lies Thomas Smith