The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses From Women

What if a Man is in a marry'd State?
Confin'd to one does am'rous Heat abate,
Or shew me him (altho' he were in need.)
That always wou'd upon one Diet feed
When once a Woman's by a Man enjoy'd
For good and all, his Appetite is cloy'd.
Therefore he fixes on some wanton Miss
Whom rather than his Wife behalf he'd Kiss,
For as it's oft reported now a days,
A Thing that's fresh, fresh Courage, too will raise

The Sixth Comfort of Whoring, Answer'd

What Man wou'd shun the Plagues of Pox and Pills,
Or all the ails that are in Doctors Bills,
Rather than not be circled in the Arms
Of one that tempts you with a thousand Charms,
And tho' she long has lost her Maidenhead,
Yet such Dexterity she'll shew in Bed,
That, Sir, your Mouth wou'd water o're and o're,
To feed again upon a skilful Whore.

The seventh Comfort of Whoring Answer'd

'Tis true, the Fop that thinketh to secure'd
To himself, in private Lodgins some fine Whore
He is a Fool, for she'll not be confin'd,
To any Man altho' he's are so kind;
For being then high Pampered and Fed,
In absence of her Cull she takes to Bed
Another, that with Gold allures her too,
That she may not to her Gallant be true;
For thinks she, when her Chap is tir'd quite,
And turns her off in others to delight,
From all she can she'll privately receive,
Which may her great Necessities relieve,
When that she bids adieu her Master's Bed,
To get by publick jilting Tricks her Bread.

The eighth Comfort of Whoring, Answer'd

If any Man's in Love with any Whore,
Why ought he not to lavish all his Store
Upon her? Since, to make the Fop admire,
Those prety Features which sets him a fire,
She's often at the Charge of Velvit Hoods,
Silk Stockins, Velvit Scarves and other Goods,
Lac'd Shoes, rich Mantoe's, Gloves and Diamond Rings
Fine Linnen, Gowns, and other costly things.

The ninth Comfort of Whoring Answer'd

If any has a Jilt some time sustain'd,
Who has imperious o're his Pocket reign'd,
And he's grown weary of so sweet a Life,
Or else being jealous takes to him a Wife;
The Whore can do no less than fling and tear,
And on th' inconstant Coxcomb Vengeance swaer,
For leaving her in this her state of Sin;
And let the World know what the Spark has been,
Unless a Pension he to her allows,
That she may not his Roguery disclose.

The tenth Comfort of Whoring Answer'd

T'is true we Harlots work by various means,
And act our Parts behind too diff'rent Scenes;
Sometimes we do a Bastard lay to those,
That never did so much as touch our Cloaths;
Perhaps too ne'er were in our Company,
So Guineas get by this same Subtilty;
And many times a Pocket too we pick,
For at no mischief will a Strumpit stick;
For once a Woman's bad, there's no relief
By being only Whore, but also Thief.

The Eleventh Comfort of Whoring, Answer'd

We'll have you know, of Whores are very few,
That will to any Man be ever true;
To us all Men for Money are alike,
With Skips as soon as Beaus we bargains strike;
And gad no sooner is a Cully gone,
But quick another in his Room gets on.

The Twelfth Comfort of Whoring Answer'd

Besides great Charges we are at for Cloaths,
To tempt the Fancies of our cringing Beaus,
We Pimps and Bullies keep to be our Bail,
When Sharping Bailiffs nabb us for a Jayl.

The Thirteenth Comfort of Whoring Answer'd

Again as we to Bridewel oft are sent,
To undergo a flauging Punishment,
A bribe to him that Whips us then is gi'n,
To have Compassion to our tender Skin.

The Fourteenth Comfort of Whoring Answer'd