"Well I knew her days were numbered;
And, as she approached her end,
Stronger grew the love between us,
Doubly was she parent – friend!
"God permitted that her spirit
Should through stormy floods be led,
That she might converse with angels
While she toiled for daily bread.
"Wondrous oft were her communings,
As of one to life new-born,
When I watched beside her pillow,
'Twixt the midnight and the morn.
"Still she lay through one long Sabbath,
But as evening closed she woke,
And like one amazed with sorrow,
Thus with pleading voice she spoke:
"'God will give whate'er is needful;
Will sustain from day to day;
This I know – yet worldly fetters
Keep me still a thrall to clay!
"'Oh, my son, from these world-shackles
Only thou canst set me free!'
'Speak thy wish,' said I, 'my mother,
Lay thy lov'd commands on me!'
"As if strength were given unto her
For some purpose high, she spake:
'I have toiled, and – like a miser —
Hoarded, hoarded for thy sake.
"'Not for sordid purpose hoarded,
But to free from outward blame,
From the tarnish of dishonor,
Thy dead father's sacred name,
"'And I lay on thee this duty —
'Tis my last request, my son —
Lay on thee this solemn duty
Which I die and leave undone!
"'Promise, that thy dearest wishes,
Pleasure, profit, shall be naught,
Until, to the utmost farthing,
Thou this purpose shalt have wrought!'
"And I promised. All my being
Freely, firmly answered, yea!
Thus absolved, her angel-spirit,
Breathing blessings, passed away.
"Once more in the noisy, jostling
Human crowd; I seemed to stand,
Like to him who goes to battle,
With his life within his hand.
"All things wore a different aspect;
I was now mine own no more:
Pleasure, wealth, the smile of woman
All a different meaning bore.
"Thus I toiled – though young, not youthful
Ever mingling in the crowd,
Yet apart; my life, my labor,
To a solemn purpose vowed.
"Yet even duty had its pleasure,
And I proudly kept apart;
Lord of all my weaker feelings;
Monarch of my subject heart.
"Foolish boast! My pride of purpose
Proved itself a feeble thing,
When thy uncle brought me hither,
In the pleasant time of Spring.
"Said he, 'Thou hast toiled too closely;
Thou shalt breathe our country air;
Thou shalt come to us on Sundays,
And thy failing health repair!'
"Now began my hardest trial.
What had I with love to do?
Loving thee was sin 'gainst duty,
And 'gainst thy good uncle too!
"Until now my heart was cheerful;
Duty had been light till now,
– Oh that I were free to woo thee;
That my heart had known no vow!
"Yet, I would not shrink from duty;
Nor my vow leave unfulfilled!
– Still, still, had my mother known thee,
Would she thus have sternly willed?