The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 17, No. 482, March 26, 1831

Translated in the Quarterly Review

We are not at present breathing the air either of Christ Church meadow or Trinity gardens; and if our version of a piece of mere pleasantry, which involves nothing in it beyond a moment's laugh, should be so happy as to satisfy the 'general reader,' we shall affect 'for the nonce,' to know nothing of the objections which more scientific persons, the students of the brilliant Hermann, and acute Reisigius, might be supposed to make to our arrangement of this little extravaganza.

Scene, the Acherusian Lake. BACCHUS at the oar in Charon's Boat; CHARON;—CHORUS OF FROGS; in the background a view of Bacchus's Temple or Theatre, from which are heard the sound of a scenical entertainment.

Semi-chorus. Croak, croak, croak.
Semi-chorus. Croak, croak, croak.

(In answer, and with the music an octave lower.)

Full Chorus. Croak, croak, croak.

LEADER of the Chorus. When[1 - The comic performances of the Athenians were usually brought out at a festival of Bacchus, which lasted for three days. The first of these was devoted to the tapping of their wine-casks; the second to boundless jollity (Plato specifies a town, but not Athens, every single inhabitant of which was found in a state of intoxication on one of these festivals,) and the third to theatrical exhibitions in the temple of the patron of the feast. In this state of excitement it will be easily imagined that some coarser ingredients were required by the clever but licentious rabble of Athens, to whom these representations were more particularly addressed, besides the better commodities of rich poetry and wit; and hence the deformities which have been so much complained of in the writings of Aristophanes.] flagons were foaming,
And roisterers were roaming,
And bards flung about them their gibe and their joke;
The holiest song
Still was found to belong
To the sons of the marsh, with their

Full Chorus Croak, croak.

LEADER. Shall we pause in our strain,
Now the months bring again
The pipe and the minstrel to gladden the folk?
Rather strike on the ear
With a note strong and clear,
A chant corresponding of—

Chorus. Croak, croak.

BACCHUS (mimicking.) Croak, croak, by the gods I shall choke,
If you pester and bore my ears any more
With your croak, croak, croak.

LEADER. Rude companion and vain,
Thus to carp at my strain;
(To Chor) But keep in the vein,
And attack him again
With a croak, croak, croak.

Chorus (crescendo.) Croak, croak, croak.

BACCHUS (mimicking.) Croak, croak, vapour and smoke,
Never think it, old Huff,
That I care for such stuff,
As your croak, croak, croak.

Chorus (fortissimo.) Croak, croak, croak.

BACCHUS. Now fires light on thee,
And waters soak;
And March winds catch thee
Without any cloak.
For within and without,
From the tail to the snout,
Thou'rt nothing but croak, croak, croak.

LEADER. And what else, captious Newcomer, say, should I be?
But you know not to whom you are talking, I see:
(With dignity) I'm the friend of the Muses, and Pan with his pipe,
Holds me dearer by far than a cherry that's ripe:
For the reed and the cane which his music supply,
Who gives them their tone and their moisture but I?
And therefore for ever I'll utter my cry
Of—

Chorus. Croak, croak, croak.

BACCHUS. I'm blister'd, I'm fluster'd, I'm sick, I'm ill—

Chorus. Croak, croak.

BACCHUS. My dear little bull-frog, do prithee be still.
'Tis a sorry vocation—that reiteration,
(I speak on, my honour, most musical nation,)
Of croak, croak.

LEADER (maestoso.) When the sun rides in glory and makes a bright day,
Mid lilies and plants of the water I stray;
Or when the sky darkens with tempest and rain,
I sink like a pearl in my watery domain:
Yet, sinking or swimming. I lift up a song,
Or I drive a gay dance with my eloquent throng,
Then hey bubble, bubble—
For a knave's petty trouble,
Shall I my high charter and birth-right revoke?
Nay, my efforts I'll double,
And drive him like stubbie
Before me, with—

Chorus. Croak, croak, croak.

BACCHUS. I'm ribs of steel, I'm heart of oak,
Let us see if a note
May be found in this throat
To answer their croak, croak, croak.

(Croaks loudly.)