The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 17, No. 486, April 23, 1831

LENDING BOOKS

To lend a byeuck is to lose it—and borrowin’s but a hypocritical pretence for stealin’, and shou’d be punished wi’ death.—Ettrick Shepherd.

THE GATHERER

A snapper up of unconsidered trifles.

    SHAKSPEARE

HOW TO ROAST AN ACTOR

If he is tall, you may discover that his person is ungraceful, and that he wants the dapper-size of Garrick. If short, he is much under the proper size, and can never play the character of a hero, which is always fixed at five feet ten inches. If his features are small, you can find out that they want expression; if large, his face is vulgar, and his nose too much beyond the dramatic size. If his face be unexceptionable, you may with some pains discover a something in his eye. If his eyes are piercing and intelligent, perhaps his features are stiff and unmanageable. His shoulders may be broad; and, if not, it is a thousand to one but he stoops; and if he stoops, and does not turn out his toes, it is impossible he can understand his author. If he is a scholar and a critic, and repeats a line as you never heard it repeated before, he must be a word-catcher. If his manner is graceful, he has studied dancing too much; but if his manner is not graceful, be sure to tell him he must go to the dancing-school. If you can discover no fault, you must prove how much better Garrick, Powel, Holland, or Barry, performed the character; and as nine-tenths of your readers cannot remember those performers, you may easily persuade them that the object of your censure is a blockhead. If he has the art of rapid elocution, tell him he speaks too fast; and if he speaks slowly, and with discrimination, say that he only waits to catch applause. If his action is graceful, tell him he makes too much use of his arms and hands; and if his action is moderate, persuade the public that his arms are tied behind him. By these hints you will have done him completely on one side, and, if you change your opinion, and praise him, he will be done on the other.—Old Magazine.

VALE OF TEMPE

Dr. Clarke says, “The boasted Vale of Tempe, is a defile; it is something like Matlock, but wilder; more savage than Salvator Rosa, and with nothing of Claude. I cannot tell why the ancients made such a fuss about it; perhaps because half of them never saw it, and took its character from hearsay; the other half, like mankind every where, stupidly admiring what is said to be admirable. It is like a crack in a great wall, at the bottom of which is a river, sometimes inundated, sometimes dry; the passage narrow, the sides craggy, bare, lofty and perpendicular; its whole length not above a mile.”

THEATRES

We find the following sensible observations in a recent work:—

“In the reigns of Elizabeth and James, the golden age of the English drama, London was not a tenth part of its present sire, and it contained seventeen theatres. At present (1808) there are but two; more would succeed, and indeed more are wanted; but these have obtained exclusive privileges. Old people say the acting was better in their younger days, because there were more schools for actors; and the theatres being smaller, the natural voice could be heard, and the natural expression of the features seen, and therefore rant and distortion were unnecessary. They, however, who remember no other generation of actors than the present, will not be persuaded that there has ever been one more perfect. Be this as it may, all are agreed that the drama itself has woefully degenerated, though it is the only species of literary labour which is well paid; they are agreed also as to the cause of this degeneracy, attributing it to the prodigious size of the theatres; the finer tones of passion cannot be discriminated, nor the finer movements of the countenance perceived from the front, hardly from the middle of the house. Authors, therefore, substitute what is here called broad farce for genuine comedy; their jests are made intelligible by grimace, or by that sort of mechanical wit which can be seen; comedy is made up of trick, and tragedy of processions, pageants, battles, and explosions.”

SCRAPS

Addison says, that a dog has been the companion of man for nearly 6,000 years, and has learned of him only one of his vices; that is to worry his species when he finds them in distress. Tie a tin canister to a dog’s tail, and another will fall upon him; put a man in prison for debt, and another will lodge a detainer against him.

Horace Walpole, speaking of the opening of the budget one year, says, “The rest of the night was spent in a kind of avoirdupoise war.”

A witness under examination in an Irish court of justice, had just stated that he was suddenly roused from his slumbers by a blow on the head. “And how did you find yourself?” asked the examining counsel, “Fast asleep,” replied the witness.

An officer whom Louis XIV. had been strongly solicited to appoint to a certain situation, was presented to him. “This gentleman,” said the king, “is too old.” “Sire,” replied the officer, with much tact, “I am only four years older than your majesty, and I calculate upon serving you for five-and-twenty years to come.” The king appointed him to the situation.

    W.G.C.

ANNUAL OF SCIENCE

This Day is published, price 6s. ARCANA of SCIENCE, and ANNUAL REGISTER of the USEFUL ARTS for 1831.

Comprising POPULAR INVENTIONS, IMPROVEMENTS, and DISCOVERIES,

in Mechanics Agriculture Chemical Science Gardening Botany Domestic Economy Zoology Useful and Ornamental Art Geology Geographical Discovery Meteorology

Abridged from the Transactions of Public Societies and Scientific Journals of the past year. With several Engravings.

“One of the best and cheapest books of the day.”—Mag. Nat. Hist.

“An annual register of new inventions and improvements, in a popular form like this, cannot fail to be useful.”—Lit. Gaz.

Printed for JOHN LIMBIRD, 143, Strand:—of whom may be had the Volumes for the three preceding years.

notes

1

See Mirror, vol. xi. p. 2.

2

Athenæum, No. 180—an opinion to which we beg to subscribe.

3

A town of Hindoostan, in Travancore.

4

Wilson, Amer. Ornith. v. 15.

5

Oiseaux, p 189.

6

19 Henry VII. c. 11.

7

Ibid.

8

I James, c. 27, s. 2.

9

Pennant, Brit. Zool. ii. 341.

10

Northumberland Household Book, p. 104.

11

Jennings Ornithologia, p. 199, note.

12