The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 12, No. 331, September 13, 1828

    SHAKSPEARE.

ACCOMMODATION FOR THREE HALFPENCE

A gentleman on a wet evening entered the bar of an inn, and while standing before the fire, called to a servant girl who had come to receive his orders, "Margaret, bring me a glass of ale, a clean pipe, a spitoon, a pair of snuffers, and the newspaper. And Margaret, take away my great coat, carry it into the kitchen, and hang it before the fire to dry, and dry my umbrella, and tell me what o'clock it is; and if Mr. Huggins should come in, request him to come this way, for I think 'tis near seven, and he promised to meet me at that hour. And Margaret, get me change for a sovereign, and see that all the change is good, take for the glass of ale out of it, and put the coppers in a piece of paper. And Margaret, tell Jemima to bring some more coals, take away the ashes, and wipe the table. And Margaret, pull down the blinds, shut the door, and put-to the window-shutters."—N.B. The gentleman had his own tobacco.

TWO EVILS, (EXTEMPORE.)

Can man sustain a greater curse
Than to possess an empty purse?
Yes, with abundance to be blest,
And not enjoy the pow'r to taste.

G.K

EPIGRAM, FROM THE GERMAN

If one has served thee, tell the deed to many? Hast thou served many?—tell it not to any.

J.L.S

A GENTLEMAN

To tell the reader exactly what class of persons was meant to be designated by the word gentleman, is a difficult task. The last time we heard it, was on visiting a stable to look at a horse, when, inquiring for the coachman, his stable-keeper replied, "He has just stepped to the public-house along with another gentleman."

The following is the negro's definition of a gentleman:—"Massa make de black man workee—make de horse workee—make de ox workee—make every ting workee, only de hog: he, de hog, no workee; he eat, he drink, he walk about, he go to sleep when he please, he liff like a GENTLEMAN."

"VERY BAD."

Why are washer-women, busily engaged, like Adam and Eve in Paradise? Because they are so-apy (so happy).

Why is a widower, going to be married, like Eau de Cologne? Because he is re-wiving.

Why is a vine like a soldier? Because it is listed and trained, has ten-drills, and shoots.

Why is a sailor, when at sea, not a sailor? Because he's a-board.

Why is a city gentleman, taken poorly in Grosvenor-square, like a recluse? Because he is sick-westward (sequestered.)

Why is it better for a man to have two losses than one? Because the first is a loss, and the second is a-gain.

"If Britannia rules the waves," said a qualmish writing-master, going to Margate last week in a storm, "I wish she'd rule 'em straighter."– Lit. Gaz.

Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near Somerset House,) London; sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers.

***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 331, SEPTEMBER 13, 1828***

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notes

1

At Stratford, the family maintain that Shakspeare stole Sir Thomas Lucy's buck, to celebrate his wedding-day, and for that purpose only. But, in that age, when half the country was covered with forests, deer-stealing was a venial offence, and equivalent to snaring a hare in our days.

2

Chron. Joreval, 1151.

3

Ibid.

4

This net is made differently from the other, there being no frame to it and having two handles.]

5

The reader must consider the difficulty of holding a large fish with the hand.

6

See Bishop Spratt on Oysters.