The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses From Women

And may the silly Maid that is so blind, }
To trust Man's Oaths that are as false as Wind, }
And only to her Ruin are design'd, }
That thinks her Vertue is a Plague of Life,
And will to cure it, yield as Whore or Wife.
Find all the Ills that have before been said,
And lose for endless Plauges her Maiden-head,
Who will not bear what they infer a Pain,
And laugh at all the base Delights of Men.


FINIS

THE FIFTEEN PLEASURES OF A VIRGIN

WRITTEN

By the suppos'd AUTHOR of

THE

Fifteen Plagues

OF A

Maidenhead

Virtus, repulsæ nescia fortidæ,

Intimitatis fulget honoribus. Hor. L. 3. Od. 1

LONDON: Printed in the Year, 1709

AN

APOLOGY

FOR

The Fifteen Plagues of a Maidenhead,

by the Imputed Author thereof

Suppose 'twas I, you thought, had drew my Pen
On Virtue, see I fight for her agen;
Wherefore, I hope my Foes will all excuse
Th' Extravagance of a Repenting Muse;
Pardon whate'er she has too boldly said,
She only acted then in Masquerade;
But now the Vizard's off, She's chang'd her Scene,
And turns a Modest, Civil Girl agen;
Let some admire the Fops whose Talent lie
Inventing dull, insipid Blasphemy;
I swear I cannot with those Terms dispence,
Nor won't be Damn'd for the Repute of Sense;
I cou'd be Bawdy much, and nick the Times,
In what they dearly Love; damn'd Placket Rhimes;
But that such Naus'ous Lines can reach no higher
Than what the Cod-Piece or Buffoons inspire.
To noble Satyr, I'll direct my Aim,
And bite Mankind, and Poetry Reclaim;
I'll ever use my Wit another Way,
And next the Ugliness of Vice display.
Yours, &c.

THE FIFTEEN P–S OF A VIRGIN

The first P–

In these unhappy and more wretched Days,
Eclipsed with Debauchery and Plays!
Virgins can scarce stir out, but some dull Fop,
Impertinently kind, her way will stop,
And almost force Her to some House of Sin,
Her Innocence and Virtue to draw in;
And if he can her Modesty invade,
Glad with her Spoils and Trophies of a Maid,
The Villain is the first that will complain
Her foul Dishonour, and polluted Shame.

The Second P–

A Maid dispos'd to take the gentle Air,
And to Grays-Inn, or Temple-Walks repair;
No sooner enters she the Garden Gate,
Sits down, and thinks of going e're 'tis late,
But some insipid Squire having spy'd her,
Takes Heart of Steel, and boldly squats beside her.
He thus accosts her,—Madam, Ah! by Gad
You're wond'rous Fair; but Lady, why so sad?
Her Innocence he thinks will soon submit,
To all the swagg'ring Tyrants of his Wit;
But being strictly taught in Vertue's School,
She does not only slight the prating Fool,
Contemn'd his Actions, and his feigned Tone,
But leaves the Lawyer strait to Curse alone.

The Third P–