The Mist and the Lightning. Part IV

And father said, ‘Well, come on, Vil, show you’re a man, it’s time! If my son doesn’t want to become one! Show him!’

I could hardly understand what he was saying, what he wanted from me, and he shouted, ‘Get undressed! God damn you, and go to her!’

And I don’t remember how I did all that, I was begging the Gods for only one thing, that he’d be pleased with me, or at least satisfied, and wouldn’t beat me, lock me in a dark room, whatever, I just wanted him to let me go as soon as possible. That slave girl was all shaking in fear as much as I did, I got on top of her somehow, I’ve seen couple of times in the garden during the summer how the servants did it. I was hoping that I understood correctly what he wanted from me…

He said: ‘That’s right, atta-boy!’, and I started poking into her, everything was so terrible…

He was standing and staring…

I just remember thinking with horror, what should I do next, and when will it all end…

First my penis rose, out fear more than desire, I think. And then it fell, I didn’t even feel that I came, didn’t feel that anything oozed from me and into her, that everything was finished.

He said: ‘That’s enough! Get out!’ I bolted, but he held me up, grabbed my shoulder and started staring at me…

It was unbearable, the contempt and disgust he was staring at me with, like at some bed bug. And then he said, ‘My son is good for nothing! Why do I deserve this punishment! And this one’s blood is too dirty, he’s so dirty, punishment from the Gods!” Started muttering, as usual, about the curse of Gods, and then turned to Arel and yelled at him so terribly… I would die on the spot, but Arel didn’t even move a muscle.

He yelled at Arel: ‘you are going to sit in this room till you become a man!’ And locked them up in there.

And that was it” – Vil froze, looking down.

“Yee-ah… not fun again” – Tol muttered after a while. The friends were silent.

“Well, now we know how Arel became a man” – Enriki finally said. “Who has left?”

“What makes you think it was then that I became a man?” – Orel smiled, like nothing happened. It seemed he was the only one completely unimpressed by Vil’s story, – “Actually, by then I’ve fucked every made and slave girl in that castle about a hundred times”.

“So why the fuck did you…” – Enriki shouted, surprised.

Orel laughed: “Just to piss father off! He thought I was good for nothing, and I didn’t feel like dissuading him.

“You are both sick! Oh, boy! I can’t even wrap my head around it!”

“Standing and watching your son fucking for the first time,” – Tol said, – “I wouldn’t be able to do it!”

“He thought he must control everything” – Orel replied. – “And that’s enough talking about him, he’s not worth it, especially that only Carina is left, and I really want to hear her story”.

“I’m afraid it won’t be happy at all, too”, – Carina noted, – “But all of you were so honest that now I just can’t lie or joke in respond”.

“Go ahead”, – Lis nodded at her.

“I will, I will tell you how it all happened” – Carina circled her friends with her eyes, – “even though it has all began with a card game, and is going to end up with a ruined evening”, – she drew breath, getting her strength together. “I was eighteen years old, and… I was born at the east, I was living there and fighting the “reds”…well, you know that…

I was taking part in the battles as well, but usually I was used in another way”… she paused again, it was obvious how hard this story was for her, her friends were patiently silent, letting her find her courage.

“I was being used as a spy. A young girl, half-blood, there’s a lot of them at the border, at every fortress, every little town. And at every camp of the “reds”, too, lots of made servants, washwomen, scullery maids, whom nobody notices. I wasn’t afraid of anything,

was bold and abrasive, successful at everything I did, got away with everything. And my pride and stupidity took me very far east, I have penetrated into a camp of a very strong and dangerous leader of the “reds” and settled there. How many “blacks” he destroyed, how many lives he took, how much of our land he has burned! Everybody were afraid of him, except for me, of course! I was so confident! And so I’ve started ruining all his plans, he and his commanders just grabbed their heads. Some of the very important operations were ruined thanks to me, their positions were at the edge of doom. And I rejoiced. I was sure they would never make me, and they really weren’t noticing me, they couldn’t even imagine some insignificant kitchen maid was capable of something like that. I wasn’t even nervous when they came for me, I couldn’t believe any of them managed to find out about me. I thought it wasn’t a big deal, these are troubled times so they are checking everybody, a couple of standard questions and they will let me go. That’s why I was smiling as I went, even when we came down to the basement my heart didn’t even twitch, I was so sure of myself. And then I saw him… his eyes… They didn’t even ask me any questions… He just hit me… And then his warriors… I would never forget it, that was the first and the only time in my life I was beaten like that, and I’m not sure I would survive a second one… And then he raped me… Right there in the basement, on the dirty, bloody floor. Him first, and then he allowed his warriors… How many of them there were, I don’t remember… From time to time they poured water over me, but towards the end I wasn’t even regaining consciousness, it all comes to me in flashes… That’s what my “first time” was like” – and she went silent, not looking at them.

Everybody else were silent, too.

“Forgive me if I unwittingly evoked some painful memories”, – Orel finally said. “It’s just that when we dared you to be honest, we couldn’t even suspect…”

“And what happened then? Afterwards?” – Tol interrupted, – “You managed to escape, didn’t you? You took your revenge on him, right?”

“Afterwards? Afterwards, I came to and realized that I’m going to die, if not this time, the next one. I’ll die if I don’t come up with something. And I did… Now I realize it wasn’t really… But back then… I just wanted to survive, all the rest came second. And the next time he came to interrogate me, I started pretending… That I like him… That I fell in love… I started obeying him… looking at him with devotion and admiration. And he

ordered his warriors not to touch me anymore. Even though they were asking to. Then he moved me from the basement to a better cell. Then started taking me to his rooms at night. At first he was really careful, of course, used to tie me up and watch me like a hawk, but I wasn’t trying to escape, even though he tried to trick me a couple of times, like I had a chance to get away. But I didn’t take the bait, I was all about

loving him and wanting to be with him, I betrayed the “blacks” for him. And even though he was very crooked, didn’t believe anybody and didn’t let anybody close, I managed to convince him in my devotion. “– Carina went silent again, sinking deep in thought for a long time.

“We were together for more than a year”, – she finally continued, – “Always close. He loved me with all his soul, his eyes lit up whenever he saw me, his cold heart softened at my smile. He used to say I was the only joy and happiness in his gloomy life, full of blood and murder. And then one night I took a knife… and stabbed him in the heart. And escaped’, – and seeing that everybody are still silent, Carina shouted ‘’That’s it, end of story! Come on, say something, don’t shut up like that!

“Did he die?” – Tol asked.

“No. He woke up a second before my blow, and he always wore a ring with “black water” inside on his finger, just in case, he poured the water right into the wound and survived. But I found out much later.

“You stayed with him more than a year, pretending to love him and knowing you’re going to kill him?” – Orel asked. – “But you are a monster, Carina, worse than us, or at least worth us!”

“He was an enemy”, – Carina said quietly, – “And I couldn’t betray my people…”

“That’s fucking cold!” – Tol roared. – “Me likey! Waiting till he falls in love! Atta-girl! Now, that’s a revenge! And what’s going on with this “red” right now, any idea?

“Like I said, he survived, but his luck turned away from him, he started losing, defeat after defeat, total doom.

"Serves him right! I hate the 'reds'! All the pain they caused us!" – Tol went on and on.

"He wasn't a complete "red", he was a half-blood".

"Obviously, the "half-bloods" are even worse than the "reds", just like our Lis! By the way, he might have known him, what was that commander's name?"

"His name was Sigmer" – Carina said slowly, – "The 'blacks' used to call him Sigmer-Death."

Orel squeezed his temples within his palms, as if he suddenly got a headache.

"Shit, totally forgot, I've got something important to do…" – Enriki mumbled indistinctly, and without even finishing the sentence hurried towards the stairs to the second floor. Squint-Eye was right behind him, not even bothering to make up an excuse.

"We must go, too" – Orel said. "It's time we attend to business. Tol!" – he called, giving Tol a meaningful stare.

"What business, in the middle of the night" – Tol muttered grumpily, it didn't seem like he's about to go anywhere, even though he took Orel's hint.

"To-o-ol!"

"Yes, I'm coming, I'm coming, why do you have to yell?! I got it. Bye, Lis. Bye, Carina. Good luck…"

"T-o-o-l!"

Carina and Lis were left alone. Lis was sitting in front of her, he didn't change his stature. Didn't try to leave, oh no. Finally, he slowly lifted his dark head, hair parted right in the middle, and looked at her, and Carina thought that Arel has left her alone again.