Turn Up The Heat: Love Won't Wait / Beach House Beginnings / Strong Enough to Love

She sounded far too admiring for Brick’s peace of mind. Was she still hung up on the guy? “I’d say he should have kept waiting, but would that have done any good?”

She shook her head. “Maybe because I knew a normal life wasn’t in the works for me, I couldn’t see getting that intimate.”

How intimate had she gotten? No, maybe he didn’t want to know. “You loved him?”

“Yes.”

A little hard to buy because if she’d loved him, wouldn’t she have found a way? Or maybe she loved him—but didn’t really want him. Was that possible between a man and woman? He adored his sister-in-law, Cinder, but he didn’t have sexual thoughts about her.

And any woman that dated Jesse first was automatically off-limits. He didn’t go where best friends or brothers had gone before. Period. It had nothing to do with the woman, and it didn’t matter how attractive she might be.

“Maybe,” Brick ventured, sharing his thoughts, “you loved him more as a friend than anything else.”

Merrily frowned, then shook her head. “Actually...I don’t know. Maybe I just loved the idea of being in love, the idea of having a marriage and a family and a place of my own.”

She deserved all that and more.

But first she deserved the best sex he could possibly give her.

Without her noticing, Brick got closer again. “You wanted a partner to help you carry the burden.” His hand slid under her hair to cup around the back of her neck. “That’s what he should have been.”

His nearness quickened her breath. Nice.

“Without any...reward at all?”

“You think your company isn’t reward enough?”

“Ha!” She lightly slugged him in the middle. “Like that would be enough for any guy.”

“For any guy in love.... Yeah, I don’t know.” Being in love would only make abstinence more difficult. Hell, Brick wasn’t in love with her, and it ate him up to have to wait.

“Understand, Brick, I didn’t think of my mother as a burden. I loved her so I wanted to be there with her. But yes, it would have been nice to share that responsibility and worry with someone.”

A new thought chewed on his peace of mind. “Do you love him still?”

“No.”

The denial came too quickly to satisfy. Brick tipped up her chin. “You sure?”

Without hesitation, she nodded. “Looking back, I’m not certain exactly what I felt for Kyle even then. I know it hurt a lot when he asked for his ring back. He’d said he loved me, that he wanted to be with me, but he couldn’t deal with everything as it was.” Her mouth twisted. “After he broke things off, he told me that if things ever changed, he wanted to know.”

“Meaning what?” Good God, Brick couldn’t imagine that sentiment. “He wanted you to get in touch if you walked out on your mom?” Like she would ever do such a thing. Hadn’t the guy known her at all?

Lifting one shoulder, Merrily looked away. “Something like that, I guess.”

Something like...when her mother had died? Damn it, he couldn’t help it. He tugged her in closer, tucked her face under his chin and wrapped his arms around her to rock her gently from side to side. “I’m sorry.”

She surprised him by clinging to him. “The funniest part is that not long after he said that, he moved in with another woman.”

Bastard.

She hid her face against his shoulder. “A few months later...my mother took a turn for the worse and she passed away.”

He hugged her tighter still, wishing he could take some of the pain that remained with her.

“Obviously,” Merrily choked out, “I did not call him.”

“Course not.” He kissed the top of her head, her ear. “I’m so damn sorry, honey.”

She drew a slow breath. “I didn’t know what to do with myself after she died. So much of my life was wrapped up into caring for her. My schedule was set up around her needs. I had a few female friends, but no one superclose, so I decided it’d be best to get a fresh perspective on things. I moved here, found a job and got my credits transferred to the new college.”

Brick tangled a hand in her cool, silky hair. “And you decided to lose your virginity.” He realized now that it had been a deliberate choice on her part.

He’d been a deliberate choice—and it humbled him.

“Yes.” She didn’t look at him. “I didn’t expect you to know my entire history, though.”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it does. Over and over, Kyle told me he wanted to be the first. I think he probably stayed with me as long as he did just hoping to see the big payoff, you know?”

“You keep underestimating yourself, like you think lack of experience is the only appeal.”

A dry, humorless laugh escaped her. “Get real, Brick. For him, at least, it was. That’s why even after he broke things off, he still felt like he’d earned the right.”

“Tough luck for him, then, huh?” Brick wanted no misunderstandings. “Because I’m here now.” And he wasn’t about to budge.

Full of resentment, she said, “For the same reason as Kyle.”

“Don’t compare me to some selfish dick, okay?” He tipped her back so he could see her face. “That’s not me.”

“Right.” Derisive, a little militant, she tried to push away from him. “You’re saying it doesn’t matter to you?”

“Course it does. Most men are possessive by nature, and virgins factor into fantasies even more than porno stars.” He grinned at her. “But aren’t you curious why I said you scare me? Because, lady, seriously, I don’t scare easily.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Okay, not that I’m buying it, but why would I scare you?”

Before he laid it all on her, a bit of forewarning seemed in order. “It’s probably going to piss you off a little.”

Her expression went taut. “Tell me anyway.”

“Promise you’ll hear me out?”

“Depends on what you say, now, doesn’t it?”

The prickly temper only made her all the more adorable to him. Yeah, he was a Neanderthal, but at least he knew it. “All right.” Anticipating her reaction, Brick admitted, “Around you, I have a major loss of control.”

Fascination took some of the heat from her annoyance. “What does that mean exactly?”