Bones in London

"Blow old Joe!" said Bones severely. "He's a jolly unenterprising oldengine-driver. That's why the naughty old line doesn't pay. The ideaof running 'Mary Louisa' at quarter speed!"

He turned to the girl for approval, but she felt that, in thecircumstances and with only the haziest knowledge of engineering, itwould be wiser to offer no opinion.

Bones pushed the lever a little farther over, and the "Mary Louisa"reeled under the shock.

"In re knighthood, dear old miss," said Bones confidentially. Hiswords came jerkily, because the footplate of an outraged locomotivepounding forward at an unaccustomed speed was not a good foundation forcontinued eloquence. "Rendering the jolly old country aservice – helping the Cabinet – dear old Chenney awfully fond of me – "

"Aren't we going rather fast?" said the girl, gripping the side of thecab for support.

"Not at all," jerked Bones, "not at all. I am going to show 'em justhow this – "

He felt a touch on his arm, and looked down at the diminutive stoker.

"There's a lot of sand round here," said the melancholy child; "itwon't hurt you to jump I'm going to."

"Jump!" gasped Bones. "What do you mean? Hey! Don't do that, yousilly young – "

But his black-visaged assistant was already poised on the step of theengine, and Bones, looking back, saw him performing somersaults down asandy slope. Bones looked at the girl in amazement.

"Suicide, dear old miss!" he said in an awed voice. "Terrible!"

"Isn't that a station?" said the girl, more interested for the momentin her own future.

Bones peered through the windows ahead.

"That's the junction, dear old thing," he said. "This is where we stopher."

He tugged at the lever, but the lever was not to be moved. He tuggeddesperately, but it seemed the steel bar was riveted in position. The"Mary Louisa" was leaping along at an incredible speed, and less thanfive hundred yards away was the dead-end of the Bayham platform, intowhich the Lynhaven train was due to run.

Bones went white and looked at the girl with fearful eyes. He took aswift scrutiny to the left and right, but they had passed out of thesandy country, and any attempt to leave the train now would meancertain destruction.

* * * * *

The Right Honourable Mr. Parkinson Chenney had concluded a verysatisfactory morning's work of inspection at Tolness, and had securedall the information he needed to answer any question which might be putto him in Parliament by the best-informed of questioners.

He was lunching with the officers of the small garrison, when atelephone message was brought to him. He read it and smiled.

"Good!" he said. "Gentlemen, I am afraid I have to leave you a littleearlier than I expected. Colonel Wraggle, will you see that my specialtrain is ready! I must leave in ten minutes. The Chinese Commissionhas arrived," he said impressively, "or, rather, it arrives in Londonthis afternoon, and I am deputed by the Prime Minister – "

He explained to his respectful audience just what part he had played insecuring Chinese Coal Concessions. He made a little speech on theimmense value to the Empire in particular and the world in general ofthese new coalfields which had been secured to the country through theacumen, genius, forethought, and patriotic disinterestedness of theCabinet.

He would not claim to set any particular merit on his own action, andwent on to claim it. By which time his train was ready. It was indeedvital that he should be in London to meet a commission which had shownsuch reluctance to trade with foreign devils, and had been, moreover,so punctilious in its demand for ceremonious receptions, but he had notthe slightest doubt about his ability to reach London before the boattrain arrived. He had two and a half hours, and two and a half hoursgave him an ample margin of time.

Just before his special rounded the bend which brought it within sightof Bayham Junction the Lynhaven express had reached within a fewhundred yards of annihilation. The signalman at Bayham Junction hadwatched the oncoming rush of Bones's train, and, having a fairlyextensive knowledge of the "Mary Louisa" and her eccentricities, herealised just what had happened.

There was only one thing to be done. He could see the smoke from theCabinet Minister's special rising above the cutting two miles away, andhe threw over two levers simultaneously. The first set the pointswhich brought the Lynhaven express on to the main line, switching itfrom the deadly bay wherein the runaway train would have been smashedto pieces; the second lever set the distant signal against the special.It was a toss-up whether the special had not already passed the distantsignal, but he had to take that risk.

Bones, with his arm round the girl, awaiting a noisy and violentdissolution, felt the "Mary Louisa" sway to the right when it shouldhave swayed to the left, heard the clang of the points as he passedthem, and drew a long breath when he found himself headed along astraight clear stretch of line. It was some time before he found hisvoice, and then it was little more than a squeak.

"We're going to London, dear old thing," he said tremulously.

The girl smiled, though her face was deathly pale.

"I thought we were going to heaven," she said.

"Never, dear old thing," said Bones, recovering something of hisspirits as he saw the danger past. "Old Bones will never send youthere."

The problem of the "Mary Louisa" was still unsettled. She was tearingaway like a Flying Dutchman. She was oozing steam at every pore, and, glancing back, Bones saw the agitated countenance of the aged guardthrust through the window. He waved frantically at Bones, and Boneswaved genially back again.

He was turning back to make another attempt on the lever, when, lookingpast the guard, he saw a sight which brought his heart into his mouth.Pounding along behind him, and emitting feathers of steam from herwhistle, was an enormous locomotive. Bones guessed there was a trainbehind it, but the line was too straight for him to see.

"Gracious heavens!" he gasped. "We're being chased!"

He jerked at the lever – though it was a moment when he should have leftit severely alone – and to his ill-founded joy it moved.

The two trains came to a standstill together ten miles from Bayham

Junction, and Bones climbed down into the six-foot way and walked back.

Almost the first person he met was a gesticulating gentleman in a frockcoat and with a red face, who, mistaking him for an engine-driver, dismissed him on the spot, threatened him with imprisonment – with orwithout hard labour he did not specify – and demanded what the dickenshe meant by holding up a Cabinet Minister?

"Why," chortled Bones, "isn't it my dear friend, Mr. Chenney?"

"Who are you," snarled Mr. Chenney, "and what do you mean by calling meyour dear friend? By Heavens, I'll have you kicked out of thisservice!"

"Don't you know old Tibbetts?" cooed Bones. "Well, well, fancy meetingyou!"

He held out a grimy hand, which was not taken.

"Tibbetts!" growled the gentleman. "Oh, you are the foo – the gentlemanwho bought the Lynhaven line, didn't you?"

"Certainly," said Bones.

"But what is your train doing here?" asked Mr. Chenney violently."Don't you realise you are holding up a special? Great Heavens, man, this is very serious! You are holding up the business of the country!"

The engine-driver of the special came to the rescue.

"There's a switch-over about half a mile further on," he said."There's not a down train due for an hour. I'll unlock the switch andput you on to the other line, and, after we have passed, you can comeon."

"But I don't want to come on, dear old thing," said Bones. "I want togo back."

"Well, that's simple," said the driver.

He it was who piloted the Lynhaven express for another half-mile up theroad. He it was who found the switches, unlocked them, telegraphed tothe next station to hold up traffic, and he it was – Bones insisted uponthis – who brought the "Mary Louisa" along the switch to the down line.

The position was as follows: The "Mary Louisa" was on the down line.Two coaches were between the down and the up line, and the guard's vanwas exactly on the up line, when the "Mary Louisa" refused to work anyfurther.

Neither the experienced engine-driver, nor Bones, nor the stoker of thespecial, nor Mr. Chenney, nor the ancient guard, could coax the "MaryLouisa" to move another yard. The Lynhaven express stretched acrossboth lines and made all further progress for traffic impossible.