From his shadow to his darkness. Story of a downfall

But my hopes reduced the more when him was displaying his inexperience in a love affair in the discussion. By God’s grace, he too finished to note that his attitude was a little embarrassing for an adult and that he was really exposing the fact that he was surely a virgin, hopefully, he jumped in another topic with no transition.

“Did you also read the Herald article on mister minister? Those guys are real suckers, always there to criticize even when it is not needed,” he said.

Even though the said subject was no less boring than his previous stories about his inexperience with girls, at least this was a good way to end the embarrassing atmosphere we were captured in since some minutes. So I also jumped in it with no hesitation:

“I hadn’t, but why this entire buzz? Why all this noise for something so ordinary? They are what they are…” I said with much sorrowfulness.

“Yeah but still that they are just rats. It is true that as opposition they need to criticize the government but when something is good, they also have to appreciate it, that’s unfair what they did to mister minister.”

My reaction made things look as if I had no concern about the unjust treatment mister Agbwala was a victim from the press, but I definitely agree with Christian’s anger, in fact, he was expressing louder my toughs. However, on the contrary of him and many colleagues, I have decided not to pay much attention and give much credit to this press, the result of reading them will always be unfruitful and useless indignation, so why will I kill my happiness for something I can’t change? By yelling at them I would have instead of giving them much importance and help their buzz good for their sales. For a very long time ago I found out that all this frenzy about mister minister was a shameful commercial plan, talking and gossiping about him interested many of my citizens as mister Agbwala was one of the most popular persons in the country, any news gossip on him assured them high sales of newspapers prints. The worst was that whenever they lack information on him because mister minister had always attempted to be transparent and straight, they will not hesitate to create fake one and lie on him with no guilty conscience just to meet up with their business target. I had always wondered on my boss attitude towards these people, if only I was the one to face this kind of denigration and defamation, my reaction would have been rude, straight to the court for defamation of character and defamation. But since he had always wanted to be seen as an angel and good person, something I still found understandable and praiseworthy, he always judged inappropriate to lodge a complaint. He had always cherished his popularity and whenever we succeeded to make him catch the importance of using them, he will then state that this would be deliberately confused as freedom of speech violation by the non-profit organizations. However, his hesitation was more understandable in a way that no politician had ever done such a trial before.

Matter of fact the entire establishment was a victim of this press, so, having a bad opinion and saying rude things about a minister was not shocking originality. But what was special in mister Agbwala case was that even though he was the most popular person in the country, he was also among the short list of rare politician and public personality genuine. For years, these usual attacks and all the previous fake news on him turned me in a strong incredulity about every new scoop and every press organization including serious ones like the Herald; it took me a day before taking seriously their sensational revelation about supposed corruption in our administration, at first when the news came to my ear I thought this was another press strategic article to make good sales.

But among all these media, it was necessary to distinguish between the one that really does their job even if their critics were most the time rude and the one that only specializes in gossip and fake news. The first ones were praiseworthy, our country needed their critic, mister Agbwala good behavior and value could not cover all the scourges in the government. The press was only using the population hate toward their politician as an advantage and for me; it was understandable, even useful. Our citizens hold a grudge against politician since a long time ago and that anger was not ready to end with the mismanagement of public resources that was going on. Nobody had forgotten that this was the main cause of the two major wars that really traumatize generations of citizens and in where about ten thousand of our country people died. Indeed, just about ten years after the independence of our country, two successive putsches occurred with the justification by their authors to act for peace and better economic conditions that civil government couldn’t assure. Many years later our country was still trying to recover of those two military regimes conditions, matter of fact they had been economically worse than a civil one, plus they were autocratic, dictatorial, liberticidal. The worst was their long duration and the fact that they had been successive. Hopefully, as everything always ended, this difficult period also finishes by ending eight years ago with God helps after the last dictator dead. That same year, a free and fair election took place before our first civilian president since a long while been designated. This new era had everybody enthusiastic, but after enjoying democracy and freedom of speech for some time, we noticed that nothing had economic change; the same bad government which was occurring since forty years was still present. These last years the situation was even going worst, the country became highly corrupt, this time not only politician were to blame, in fact, every activity was touched by this scourge, but corruption was also so omnipresent that two years ago we topped the most corrupt countries in the world ranking, such bad publicity! Adding to this corruption, an unemployment rate very elevated and poverty, there were enough reasons to support the deep detestation of the population toward their leaders. That’s why mister minister was so special for me; he was unique, very dissimilar from his colleague. He had always displayed remarkable transparency in his manner of running our administration; he was the only minister who will always communicate and explains his management choices to the citizens. But it was a pity that the press was not taking all this to consider, in fact, they deliberately refused to see it, for a witness of mister Agbwala honesty and good heart, their behavior had always been painful to me. However, I was happy that no matter how rude can be the opposition about him, no matter the frustration; he would still be that good and peaceful leader. That’s why I was afraid that this meeting with the strikers could spoil his image ruder than the denigration campaign he endured.

On the following day, with the help of Christian’s contact, we finally came to an agreement with the strikers concerning the date of the meeting and the place of the debates. As I receive their confirmation I directly informed mister minister and with both decided on the hour of the meeting. Everything was set, but my fears were still high. Even though I succeeded to calm the protestors before the meeting as planned with Christian, I couldn’t get out of my mind the many tragedies that occurred at this event in the past years. Things can really get deteriorated at the end of the meeting depending on the decisions taken by both parties; frustrations can turn to passionate riot. Meeting like this are sensitive, it had been the main cause of numbers of crisis in our country in the past, the latest riot that occurred in the capital city was provoked after a frustrated union demonstrated their anger in the street. Six months ago, a peaceful manifestation organized by drivers’ union unhappy about a new government tax was infiltrated by thugs just an hour after it begins. Although most of the protestors quickly dissociated themselves from these hooligans, things get worse when the first scenes of looting occurred, the police were rapidly sent by the authorities to control the manifestation; the clash was unavoidable, and a peaceful protestation ended in an urban guerilla with hundreds of people killed or injured. Added to this, the riot that occurred in Waloua around this same period, it was logical to have high fears concerning the conclusion of this meeting we were about to hold. That the other party was a teacher’s union, and that teachers are not known for being violent but respectful and diplomatic, could not make me feel secure, a matter of fact, they could also be infiltrated by thugs ready to provoke destructions of public goods and brutality.

Three days later, it was on a sunny morning that we headed to the Okoroka public school which was stated as the place of the meeting. Our delegation comprised two vehicles, mister minister and two colleagues were the passengers in one of them with the presence of a gendarme, me and two other gendarmes were occupying my car. With three gendarmes with us, we were ready for any eventuality. Nevertheless, I still couldn’t feel secure, a somber feeling disturbed me, and I couldn’t stop fearing the horrific drama that could be if the meeting turned into a mess.

We rode slowly, coming closer to the meeting point, as the minutes were passing, anxiety was increasing in us. I could feel my heart beating fast as if it were begging me to run and prevent myself from the tension that was coming forward. When we came to the last yard preceding the school, there was an insecure silence. As I step out of my car, a strange wind touched my skin and provoked goose bumps all over my body; fortunately, my suit was large enough to hide this shame. Just as soon as we penetrated the school, ear-splitting male’s voices welcomed us with much hostility just to show us their passion and fervor. Their vocal aggression aggravated low groans in our group; I was seeing my colleagues trembling like little cats, this was disgraceful!

The more we were progressing across the courtyard, the more the tones of their voices were louder; it was as if they could feel our apprehensiveness and find motivation in it. We were moving like a convoy crossing an arid desert, checking on one another, all fearful like children except one person: mister minister was not displaying any sign of fright, he was instead looking determined. He was slowly and quietly moving forward despite the noise of the protestors. I knew that these people would have physically attacked us if the gendarmes and their huge guns were not there to frighten them. It was surely because of not being able to physically express their hostility that they put their dark excitement in their vocal cords by yelling their anger with much virulence.

A little time later, we noticed a skinny silhouette approaching us; it was an under-weight man, very tall, a pile of bones covered by a dry skin similar to those of far north people. As he came closer, he gladly introduced himself as the leader of the union before displaying a devilish smile which exposed his bad intentions. He then asked us to follow him toward one classroom at the border of the courtyard. We did as he asked, but dashed toward the classroom as boots started back louder since the protesters saw their said leader address us which much confident and defiance. Once we entered the room, we saw three men with somber looks as skinny as their leader, seated on a table with many documents. Even though their unfriendliness was really frustrating, their physical appearance was not as dangerous as I imagine; they were just simple teachers with immense spectacles. After introducing them, their leader then invited us to have a seat with a more sinister aura. From the atmosphere in the room at the beginning of the talk, we knew that this will be a harsh confrontation and that our opponent will do everything possible to have the last word. Subsequently, the group of strikers who welcomed us noisy at the courtyard came at the windows with the same hostility toward us, but this time with less noise although they were still spitting insults. They were displaying the favor of supporters of a football team, encouraging their side with vigor, hoping to enjoy the victory at the end of the encounter. The whole meeting was like a fight in a Roman arena, a gladiator battle where surge pressure and intimidation were weapons, everyone fighting to win at all cost.

Thirty minutes after the beginning of the debates, each party had doggedly to their positions. Mister Minister surprise everybody with his character, he who was known to be ordinary meek shown a different face during the talk. Even the openness to dialogue he seemed to display before our arrival to the meeting point had totally disappeared in his manners, he was defending the controversial labor law as firmly as if his position of the minister depended on it. The leaders of the protestation were as unyielding as him, but on the contrary of him, the more the time was passing the more clears signs of impatience were displayed in their attitude. Regarding our communication prior to the negotiation and the assurance they had, they were supposed to be disappointed.

“I have heard your complaints, just permit me to discuss it with the head of state and get back to you.”

It was with these words that mister minister ended hopes about finding a consensual solution to end the crisis in a little while. With this promise he had just extended the lifespan of this upsetting problem, I was deeply discontented, this answer means more stressful time in a period already to stressful. But I wasn’t as upset as the strikers, and the reason for their anger was deeper than mine: how was it possible to succeed to meet the minister, discuss with him on a table and finally end up with an unsure promise?

“We know where politician promises always end,” I heard some of them affirming.

Subsequently, the din became louder and provoked insecurity among our group. Tempers were flaring, tension had built to bursting, and people’s nerves were fraying, our bodyguard noticed the danger coming, they were now on their toes. One of them whispered something to mister minister, surely to notify him the emergency of living the place. A minute later, we all left our chair at the same time and started heading to the door hurriedly. But to our surprise, the group of strikers outside during the talk was now blocking the way out angrily. Hopefully, the gendarmes used their ferocity to free the exit. However, therefore a clash occurred; people were punching me, kicking me hard, and hurting me so bad. I was sadly witnessing what I predicted anxiously for weeks since the day my boss decided not to listen to my advice and instead follow his dangerous plan, what was the result: we got our ass whoop!! I who did everything to prevent this was now struggling to save my life and health in this rush like a trapped mouse. It took me a great effort to come out of it and none of the gendarmes came to my rescue as they were all focused on mister minister.

Despite all this violence from people, we couldn’t expect this kind of animal behavior, the entire group succeeded to return safely in our car. My clothes were clear proof of the brutality in that rush as it was torn and wrinkled almost everywhere, no need to add that I wasn’t as glamour as Caroline as me to be. I was shocked but my colleagues seemed more traumatized than me, I could see the terror on their attitude, one of them was whipping his sweating face while groaning like a maltreated puppy. None of us had done this physical effort for years, my back really hurt but compared to others, my situation was better.

Mister Minister came out of this with no scratches or damage; he was as fresh as before our arrival, elegant in his very expensive suit. Concerning him, the gendarme did a wonderful job; they protected him perfectly but what about us? We could normally take this as an injustice and started feeling a kind of jealousy but what would have been the need for this kind of feeling and conclusion? That’s how things are in our country… There was at least something to be content of, nobody died, and they shot no striker although they were enough reasons for the gendarmes to use their guns; however, many of those protesters were rudely brutalized too.

But all this would have never happened if only mister minister followed my plan, I was upset, all this was his fault! We were obviously in a weak position; we were a small group in enemy territory, this meeting should have not been held. But since he always wanted to be looked like the angel, the hero, what could we do? His obsession was risky for his workers and I had to tell him that eyes to eyes, I was too angry I needed to let it out.

It was with all this resentment that I came to his office the following day. He who considered me as his son needed to hear my sincere complains. Being the boss is also to assure the security and the good conditions of his worker, he had to assume that he had felt in this mission. And if only I followed Caroline words my reaction would have been harder, she was more upset than I was and it was understandable. My harm had her massaging me all night long. I had the grudges against him and not even our mutual respect and friendship could stop me.

But as he entered his office and started complaining about his reaction really took me by surprise. Although he didn’t apologize about causing the brutality we endure, his statement about our greatness after our sacrifice got me pleased. I saw myself as a kind of hero too, as a martyr of a good cause. He then started to show me the future fruit of this sacrifice on the peace in the country and resolving the crisis with the teacher. He affirmed that when the national opinion will know what happened, when they hear about the violence that these strikers use on a small group of peaceful people who just came to listen to their problem and follow their request, they will, therefore, stop bearing support to those protestors, and then we will now have the position of power.

He didn’t need to add more to make me forget the massage with hot water my wife administered me the previous night, and the unusual physical effort we were forced to do to save our life. I was letting myself be literally subjugated by the exceptional logic from the wise man mister minister was and started to feel guilty for showing shameful selfishness. He succeeded to change my mood without making a real effort; I was coming to ask verbal reparation and excuses from the man but I found myself guilty of misjudgment of the case. It takes much humility to come to this kind of conclusion; mister minister was a unique person. Those guys too disrespected and insulted him, but he didn’t complain about that, he instead took advantage of it.

Many other leaders would have sought revenge after this kind of humiliation but not him. He would instead seek for peace and calm everybody. Now that he was in a better position he would quietly end the crisis by bringing a resolution that would contain every party. Just for acting like this, for displaying such wisdom, such a vision, he deserved a Nobel Prize!

I quickly shared the mister minister’s perceptiveness to Christian as he came to office in the afternoon intending to pity me. He too found his mood rapidly changed from indignation to delight after hearing our boss affirmation. Then we both entered a serious celebration, this was a victory, something really rare during this period. As two of the most favorite mister minister’s supporters and disciple, we couldn’t stay without praising his lucidity and his ability to always find a solution in any complicated case he will face.

“This is definitely the week of good news Paul, guess what? I invited Caroline for a date and she accepted!” Christian added shortly.

This other good news made me happier than the previous one. However, a guilty feeling bothered me subsequently. This love affair that was starting was also a violation of one of our internal rules private relationship between members of the same department were highly prohibited, and as their chief, I had to sanction them. But this time around, I didn’t border myself of reminding him the rule or even advise him to act with much discretion; I simply judge this incoming romance like a little violation by an ordinary good and honest employee. Regardless of the number of colleagues that date before them without been sanctioned by anybody, there was not enough reason in my point of view to feel reproachable about any irresponsibility as a chief. I was convinced that Caroline will be a good girlfriend and eventually a good wife for him even though my opinion was influenced by the fact that she and my wife had the same name.

A little time later, Andre’s sudden arrival startled us and ended our cheerfulness. As usual, he’d surely previously bored Jasmine for long minutes after receiving bad answers from the girl, he’d then put down all his frustration on the handle of my door before entering my office without knocking as if it was a Chinese shop. It wasn’t hard to perceive that he and Christian had not a friendly relationship, matter of fact their obvious hatred was well covered by a kind of mutual respect they always displayed whenever they meet. Their characters were dissimilar, though Christian was quiet and gentle, Andre was disrespectful with people, a ladies’ man, and pretentious. This man was a mad dog, but as bizarre as it could be, he was also my best friend for a long time.

“Mister Paul, I hear you get your ass kicked yesterday,” said the latter before sneering like a hyena happy to see a lion defeated after a fight.

This mockery sounded like a nuisance to Christian’s ear and made him feel uncomfortable. But instead of reacting by words, as respectful as he was, he left the place to keep himself away from a man who can so easily make fun of somebody misfortune.

An embarrassing moment of silence took place after Christian left, and then Andre who was feeling a little ashamed decided to quickly turn the mood to a better one.

“Chill bro, let’s go have a drink somewhere, I guess you need that after getting your ass whoop, hahahaha.”

The same main reason that made me been his great friend was also the same reason that sorrows me the most concerning him if only he could expose his good side to people… He was the first victim of his bad behavior. Hopefully, I could feel his intentions of being friendlier with people after realizing the enmity provoked by his manners. But regardless of all the bullshit and the bad reputation he had, he needed to try hard to overcome the hate to love in colleague heart.

Thirty minutes passed, we were now quietly seated in a restaurant-bar situated a yard far from our workplace. The bar was one of those private selective places in the capital, most of their customers were rich and popular. Their main points of attraction were the discretion they assured to clients and the quality of their service. There was also a good ambiance and comfortable seat there.

It didn’t take us much time to be immersed in the noisy but pleasant atmosphere of the place. I was trying hard to hide and avoid being seen by any Caroline’s friend when Andre started to flirt with one bartender, a young girl with a huge bosom, she was not pretty but she had that little to appeal to the male gender. As I was now bored and left alone since Andre focused on the girl, I occupied myself by observing with discretion the other customers, but when I look to the door, guess who I saw? The young Caroline coming hand in hand with a man who at first sight seemed not to be the timid Christian! That was terrible! He was just from sharing me his happiness to date her some minutes ago, what a shame! I thought she was a serious girl judged by her gorgeous and gentle look; I was wrong. Why did I not check on her better before pushing my friend to flirt her! Why was I not more suspicious, she was a stranger! The unfortunate guy, he was surely somewhere thinking about her without knowing that the girl was in a restaurant with a different man.

I was shocked, but the worst was coming ahead. That man who was holding her hand lovely, that silhouette, that gesture, that elegance reminded me, somebody, I knew well. Hell yeah, he was the one: mister Agbwala! What the hell was he doing there flirting with this young girl in a restaurant?

This was unbelievable, and no it wasn’t a nightmare, I was not dreaming; I wished I was. The appearances had me troubled, so all these rumors about his infidelity were true! If only Andre could see what was going on that would have been the last straw! He who was the principal entertainer of those rumors, he that I always blamed for claiming that my boss was a womanizer would have laughed at me seriously if only he could catch this proof that was actually just near us. Hopefully, he was lost in seduction; occupy to seduce the young sexy bartender.

My eyes were focusing on them all the long. They sat at the restaurant side, shelter from people’s attention as if they knew someone could expose them, which made me more suspicious. It could also be to avoid the conclusion that I made that motivated their choice, who knows. Anyway, they got me inquisitive like never.

Two minutes later, I could no more see them; they were out of my vision, seated behind many obstacles. Trying to come closer could have exposed me, so I stayed at my place and visualize back the previous scenes, full of ambiguity and questions. The shock had me paralyzed; I was a captive in a prison with speculation as a company; it was mental torture.

The only thing left to avoid the worst was to keep Andre away. So I claimed an emergency at the office for us to leave the restaurant. Hopefully, he followed me but after taking the sexy girl number, his next sexual partner. Then we left the place hurriedly, with behind us inside the two people surely romancing and chilling, what a shame!

Chapter 3

Leaving with this secret was a horrible torment that was killing me softly, an unjust mental imprisonment in where I was condemned since two days. I wasn’t helping myself by becoming an accomplice to the falseness, my silence had me guilty, and Christian’s naivety was the harshest punishment among everything. The worst of all was that I became his favorite confidant subsequently in the same period, which was understandable since I was the only one who knew his romance with his intern. I had to suffer long minutes every day whenever he comes to pay a visit; his love stories were torture, every single detail was as violent as a stabbed wound in my heart. It was so agonizing to see a pure soul, a straightforward person like him enjoying a love affair in which he wasn’t told of everything. Plus, he was embellishing the whole thing like an innocent child, narrating to me, his pleasant moments with his love, picturing Caroline as a one of those Disney movie characters like Snow White. Spending time with him became excruciating moments.

I was crying my pain in silence, displaying a fake enchantment toward his love affair not to discourage him. Sometimes, the guilt would push me a mile away from reporting him everything despite the consequences and the disastrous depression that could follow, but fortunately, even in these periods of weakness, I was still able to restrain myself and not provoke a disaster in that young man’s mentality. Why kill his dream and his first love affair without having facts? Even though the restaurant scene was scheming, for me, it wasn’t enough flagrant, so, to prevent myself from what could be a misjudgment, it was better to gather further information before making final conclusions.

So extreme vigilance was a necessity, I decided to pay much attention to the suspect’s moves by spying on them like a soviet agent during the cold war. Not only Christian’s love for Caroline was my motivation, my own convictions were seriously engaged in this matter, I needed to legitimate back my opinion on mister minister in other to have the assurance of all his value again. The risk of regretting my effort in past discussions and debates with colleagues whenever they accused him of infidelity was also seriously tormenting me. Spying on them was the best way to calm my consciousness, but also to continue to protest every time ones would denigrate his truthfulness.

As if they were aware of my curiosity, they were barely together in the same place and never alone. As for that restaurant where everything started, I expected to see them back there every single day during the week, but couldn’t see any trace of them throughout my spying activities, under-covered like a professional private detective as I was. So I started to have hope, I started to believe that what happened a week ago was in fact entirely innocent and that my imagination had just been corrupted by all these past gossip.

But just a few days later, an encounter came to destroy all my hopes.

I was particularly tired that day, a huge fatigue almost got me sick, so after finishing working I decided to go back home earlier than usual. Once darted out of my office, the pain increases, my skinny body became heavy to move, I was now dreaming on Indian carpet’s help to carry me up to my car. My gait was a clear proof of my muscular tiredness as people were seeing me limping, struggling to walk with my entire mass concentrated on my foot. As if my soul was not suffering enough in this physical pain, subsequently I also had to face mental trouble after seeing Caroline and Christian heading out of the building happily like roses in spring time, almost flirting in public but still conscious enough not to hold hands like every passionate lover normally supposed to do. Guiltiness was consuming my flesh as gangrene, destroying me like lupus, devastating my bones and my heart in their most hidden cells, I was feeling bad, I was sorry to witness a love affair apparently so pleasant to see but full of lies and secrets. I can’t even remember how I managed to get to the garage, but sometimes later I was in my car, seated on his sweet and juicy sit that welcome me so gently once I open the door and tenderize me with an agreeable feeling. Hopefully the parking was still empty, so I had to go out before congestion begins. Two minutes later I drive off the building without a glance back, happy to go away from this white collar’s stressful universe. I never needed my wife tenderness that much and eventually I could expect her to be home, so I accelerated my car with the pleasant idea of her company in mind. But after remembering that traffic jam was supposed to be congested at this hour of the day my excitation just collapse. Even after the first yard I knew that it would be difficult to escape from the traffic despite his apparent fluidity. So when I saw group of car turning back I perceived the emergency of change direction fast to prevent myself of being stuck in a long queue of car for long hours. I followed them and choose to pass through a shortcut just before the Saint Eloi venue, the road wasn’t easily practicable but I could count on the power of my car and his capability to drive through any kind of road as stated on the publicity that caught my attention and push me to buy it. Just like me a long line of vehicles decided to escapade through this small quarter road with resident’s shocked looks, so unused to see this kind of huge traffic in this muddy street. I reached the Debanje Square fifteen minute after leaving the office, knowing that through the normal road it would have taken me hours, this alley was indeed a judicious solution. But not everybody was happy like me and the others people behind me who made that choice, as I was driving I saw a sad group of people parked at a junction, waiting impatiently taxis which were rare and barely present at this area because of the colossal traffic jam that was always occurring at that time of the day. Among these unfortunates, a particularly face caught my attention by leaving me a déjà-vu impression, this beautiful visage looked familiar, these small pretty eyes similar to Asiatic girls’ ones, this dark complexion: of course it was Christine!