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More Bab Ballads
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I’ll manage to submit to these
Luxurious superfluities.
“A clergyman who does not shirk
The various calls of Christian work,
Will have no leisure to employ
These ‘common forms’ of worldly joy.
“To preach three times on Sabbath days—
To wean the lost from wicked ways—
The sick to soothe—the sane to wed—
The poor to feed with meat and bread;
“These are the various wholesome ways
In which I’ll spend my nights and days:
My zeal will have no time to cool
At croquet, archery, or pool.”
The agent said, “From what I hear,
This living will not suit, I fear—
There are no poor, no sick at all;
For services there is no call.”
The reverend gent looked grave, “Dear me!
Then there is no ‘society’?—
I mean, of course, no sinners there
Whose souls will be my special care?”
The cunning agent shook his head,
“No, none—except”—(the agent said)—
“The DUKE OF A., the EARL OF B.,
The MARQUIS C., and VISCOUNT D.
“But you will not be quite alone,
For though they’ve chaplains of their own,
Of course this noble well-bred clan
Receive the parish clergyman.”
“Oh, silence, sir!” said SIMON M.,
“Dukes—Earls! What should I care for them?
These worldly ranks I scorn and flout!”
“Of course,” the agent said, “no doubt!”
“Yet I might show these men of birth
The hollowness of rank on earth.”
The agent answered, “Very true—
But I should not, if I were you.”
“Who sells this rich advowson, pray?”
The agent winked—it was his way—
“His name is HART; ’twixt me and you,
He is, I’m grieved to say, a Jew!”
“A Jew?” said SIMON, “happy find!
I purchase this advowson, mind.
My life shall be devoted to
Converting that unhappy Jew!”
Ballad: Damon v. Pythias
Two better friends you wouldn’t pass
Throughout a summer’s day,
Than DAMON and his PYTHIAS,—
Two merchant princes they.
At school together they contrived
All sorts of boyish larks;
And, later on, together thrived
As merry merchants’ clerks.
And then, when many years had flown,
They rose together till
They bought a business of their own—
And they conduct it still.
They loved each other all their lives,
Dissent they never knew,
And, stranger still, their very wives
Were rather friendly too.
Perhaps you think, to serve my ends,
These statements I refute,
When I admit that these dear friends
Were parties to a suit?
But ’twas a friendly action, for
Good PYTHIAS, as you see,
Fought merely as executor,
And DAMON as trustee.
They laughed to think, as through the throng
Of suitors sad they passed,
That they, who’d lived and loved so long,
Should go to law at last.
The junior briefs they kindly let
Two sucking counsel hold;
These learned persons never yet
Had fingered suitors’ gold.
Luxurious superfluities.
“A clergyman who does not shirk
The various calls of Christian work,
Will have no leisure to employ
These ‘common forms’ of worldly joy.
“To preach three times on Sabbath days—
To wean the lost from wicked ways—
The sick to soothe—the sane to wed—
The poor to feed with meat and bread;
“These are the various wholesome ways
In which I’ll spend my nights and days:
My zeal will have no time to cool
At croquet, archery, or pool.”
The agent said, “From what I hear,
This living will not suit, I fear—
There are no poor, no sick at all;
For services there is no call.”
The reverend gent looked grave, “Dear me!
Then there is no ‘society’?—
I mean, of course, no sinners there
Whose souls will be my special care?”
The cunning agent shook his head,
“No, none—except”—(the agent said)—
“The DUKE OF A., the EARL OF B.,
The MARQUIS C., and VISCOUNT D.
“But you will not be quite alone,
For though they’ve chaplains of their own,
Of course this noble well-bred clan
Receive the parish clergyman.”
“Oh, silence, sir!” said SIMON M.,
“Dukes—Earls! What should I care for them?
These worldly ranks I scorn and flout!”
“Of course,” the agent said, “no doubt!”
“Yet I might show these men of birth
The hollowness of rank on earth.”
The agent answered, “Very true—
But I should not, if I were you.”
“Who sells this rich advowson, pray?”
The agent winked—it was his way—
“His name is HART; ’twixt me and you,
He is, I’m grieved to say, a Jew!”
“A Jew?” said SIMON, “happy find!
I purchase this advowson, mind.
My life shall be devoted to
Converting that unhappy Jew!”
Ballad: Damon v. Pythias
Two better friends you wouldn’t pass
Throughout a summer’s day,
Than DAMON and his PYTHIAS,—
Two merchant princes they.
At school together they contrived
All sorts of boyish larks;
And, later on, together thrived
As merry merchants’ clerks.
And then, when many years had flown,
They rose together till
They bought a business of their own—
And they conduct it still.
They loved each other all their lives,
Dissent they never knew,
And, stranger still, their very wives
Were rather friendly too.
Perhaps you think, to serve my ends,
These statements I refute,
When I admit that these dear friends
Were parties to a suit?
But ’twas a friendly action, for
Good PYTHIAS, as you see,
Fought merely as executor,
And DAMON as trustee.
They laughed to think, as through the throng
Of suitors sad they passed,
That they, who’d lived and loved so long,
Should go to law at last.
The junior briefs they kindly let
Two sucking counsel hold;
These learned persons never yet
Had fingered suitors’ gold.
Другие электронные книги автора William Schwenck Gilbert
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