Confession of a Ghost. F.M. Dostoevsky award. Playing Another Reality

“It’s you!”

She was about to take a step towards the Guardian, whom she had clearly mistaken for an angel of death, as I rushed towards her, trying to grab her by the black hoodie in order to… but – what a horror! – it seemed to me, it happened precisely because of me, because of that movement of mine, the wave of energy, – she suddenly slipped on the wet windowsill and… with the window handle, that couldn’t withstand the load, in one hand, and with the rosary in the other, instantly collapsed into the darkness!

“No!” I screamed.

The happy devil disappeared, the Guardian sighed heavily and hugged me.

“Why didn’t you do anything? Why didn’t you save her? She remembered nothing! She had a rosary; she prayed, you see! And you didn’t listen to her! You knew that I wouldn’t be able to find out the cause and change anything, since you had taken her memory away!”

“Calm down, Rukh! Everything will be fine. We have to go.”

“Wait. Perhaps there is some hint here.”

I looked around. It was the kitchen. There was a table by the window with a candlestick in wax, some icons on the left wall, a stove and a sink on the right. The scanned fridge turned out to be almost empty – half a lemon and cottage cheese.

I left the kitchen for the hallway and went further into the room: again the icons on the walls, a fireplace, a rocking chair, a bed and a wardrobe. There was a prayer book on the bedside table. The contents of the wardrobe, in terms of the number of things inside, resembled the fridge.

“I don’t understand,” I whispered. “Was she a nun?”

The Guardian shook his head negatively. I returned to the corridor. As everywhere, there were icons on the walls. Suddenly, I noticed another door with a rusty lock and found a hidden room behind it, where – wow! – there were bags with miscellaneous stuff, covered with cobwebs and dust. Apparently, Me in the Future had locked our Past there.

“We have to go, Rukh!” the Guardian called out to me.

“Give me a second!” I said, for some reason rushing to the bookcase in the far corner, and began to scan the titles at lightning speed until my gaze settled on “Do you believe in ghosts?”

“I need this book. I want to take it with me!”

“Leave it. All books are stored in the Library of the Universe. You can read it going down the Stairs. Are you satisfied with such option?”

“At least something,” I muttered in response, and in a moment we were back at the mysterious House No. 1.

40 Before/1 After. House No. I. (ASC)

Starry Garden

Somewhere in the Universe

I was about to open the door to House No. 1, trying to disengage myself from what I had seen in my potential Future, when Selene stopped me.

“Don’t rush, Rukh! Let’s talk all the four of us in the starry garden,” she said with a smile and led me to the heavenly swing. “What do you think awaits you on Earth?”

“When the Guardian woke me up, I thought about light and joyful things. I’ve been told that earthly parents help the soul to get accustomed to the new space, then the children grow up, meet earthly love, create families in warm and cozy houses, take care of each other and work, doing something useful for the world. However, I don’t know what to think now. I still have no idea who I’m going to be there and what I have to go through.”

“Everyone is scared before the incarnation,” Selene reassured me. “Heavenly passport is not a sentence, it’s a labyrinth with corridors of predetermined options. It’s forbidden to go outside the labyrinth, but there is almost always the right to choose inside.”

Selene and I were sitting on the swing, while Sirius and the Guardian slowly rocked it.

“You are at the starting point of your destiny,” Sirius said, “at the moment of your first breath on Earth. This point is called the Ascendant, it falls into one of the 360 degrees of the Heavenly Circle, the Clock of Life, and in fact determines your entire life on Earth.”

“And what is that degree?” I asked, and the Canis Major Constellation flickered on the screen of the Universe.

“The magical degree of mystery and prophetic gift,” said Selene, “one of the most mystical, where the Sun connects with Sirius. Sirius, the Alpha of the Canis Major Constellation, the Heavenly Wolf, is a symbol of single people who don’t care about the opinions of others, they are drawn to exploring the Invisible World, which can lead to tragic results due to a weakened sense of self-preservation.”

“By the way, degrees have colors,” Sirius said. “Mine is purple, the sign of the initiates, it means a direct connection with Heaven and high spirituality. This degree is usually accentuated in ascetics and spiritual teachers, but sometimes in great scientists, writers, translators, interior designers – in extraordinary and mysterious personalities, more often geniuses, whose lives are full of mysterious events and ‘accidental’ coincidences.”

“You will anticipate future events,” the Guardian added.

“Sirius is a great magician,” Selene confirmed. “He is 250 million years old. The Royal star of the brightest light! The luminosity of Sirius exceeds the Solar 25 times. The star of the initiates who receive spiritual support from the Subtle World. Sirius gives you the keys to the Secret Knowledge, provides authority, fame and all sorts of honors. Sirius is accentuated in the passports of many famous people.”

“Who are all these people?” I asked, curiously examining the holographic portraits on the screen of the Universe.

“Albert Einstein, Nobel Prize winner in physics. He penetrated the Subtle World, explored Space and Time, predicted quantum teleportation and gravitational waves, dealt with the problems of cosmology and studied the effects of invisible fields,” said the Guardian.

“Helena Blavatskaya,” added Sirius, “she devoted her life to the Subtle World exploration, wrote many books about the Secret Knowledge, founded the Theosophical Society.”

“Nobel Prize winner in literature, poet, writer and artist Hermann Hesse,” Selene smiled. “He was interested in psychoanalysis, explored the soul and its states, studied philosophy and compared religions.”

“Sirius can be called the flame of immortality,” said the Guardian. “The souls incarnating under the patronage of Sirius leave a significant trace on Earth. Which one? It depends on the conjunctions and aspects of Sirius, and other passport data. In ancient Egypt, Sirius children were assigned the role of priests.”

“Remember, though,” Sirius warned, “I provide a person with tremendous energy that is difficult to control, even a small action can set off a fire. However, if my energy is not used or is used for evil, the person will be burned or bitten by it. I’m in charge of wolves and dogs as well.”

“Either one serves humanity,” Selene concluded, “consciously sacrificing one Self, for which one will receive fame and recognition, or one is recalled from Earth. My role is not so great, but the support of the Higher Forces is guaranteed to you throughout your entire incarnation!”

“Selene, the planet of Light, multiplies my strength,” the Guardian added.

“That’s right,” Sirius smiled, “Selene and I will try to protect you, Rukh, from the Black Magic. If you become a person emanating Heavenly Light, people will come to you for help. Selene inclines towards altruism, but energy donors attract manipulative vampires, and the Light beings are hated by the Forces of Darkness. The evil spirits will narrow around you in a tight ring, unlikely to leave you alone until you return to Heaven. Joan of Arc, accused of witchcraft and burned at the stake during the Inquisition, had a similar position of Selene. You won’t be burned, but you’ll have to suffer. Possessing extra sensitive abilities and the gift of healing, you can become a white magician.”

“Saint Seraphim of Sarov had a similar Selene,” the Guardian added. “You’ll love nature, it will be reciprocally, animals will obey you. It’s very beautiful on Earth, Rukh! There are mountains, trees, flowers there, the butterflies flutter, the bees work… Well, it’s time for us to go to the Library, to read the book from your Future!”

Library of the Universe

“Wow!” I exclaimed.

“The greatest book depository. Even drafts of ever existing in projection are collected here. And indeed, as one writer said, manuscripts don’t burn!”

“How to orient oneself here and get to the right book?”

“Formulate mentally what you need to find.”

We took chairs in the Reading Hall. As soon as I remembered the title, the book appeared right in front of me. I looked at the cover and read the author’s first and last name.

“Who is this Alice? Do you know her, Angel?”

“Certainly! It’s you.”

“What a surprise! I thought I would just communicate with ghosts. Perhaps the book indicates the cause for the erased memory. Oh no! No!” I exclaimed after reading the annotation. “These are stories written in childhood! The cause can’t be there!”

“All people come from childhood. There is nothing accidental, especially for the soul with Sirius and Selene on the Ascendant!”