The Widows’ Club

Georgie glanced over at them. She was rocking the baby with a growing sense of panic. It – he – was still crying. Sara had called him Fred. She was anything but conventional.

‘That’s not what I meant,’ Sara said. ‘If this is upsetting for you, we can go.’

April’s hands were splayed over the keyboard and one finger sought out the letter S. ‘Can I ask you something, Sara?’

‘Sure,’ she said, drawing closer. Her hand came to rest on a stack of print-outs piled up on the corner of April’s desk. On top of the pile was a white stone.

‘How well did you know Jason?’

When Sara’s fingertips sought out the curves of the love token, April’s pulse throbbed against her ears.

‘I knew him well enough to know not to be left at the bar whenever he ordered a round of shots,’ Sara said, recalling one of their notorious nights out.

‘He did pay you back, didn’t he?’

‘With interest,’ Sara said as she spun the stone 360 degrees. ‘What’s this about, April? Is there something particular you’re after?’

April held her friend’s gaze. ‘I sometimes wonder how well I knew him, that’s all. There are definite gaps.’

‘I’m no expert on grief, but maybe now that you can’t make new memories with Jason, you want to hear ones you haven’t heard before from other people.’

When Sara glanced down at the stone, April’s heart skipped a beat, but there was no flicker of recognition on her friend’s face. Sara was oblivious to the object’s meaning.

‘Yeah, something like that,’ April agreed, resting her back against her chair and allowing her shoulders to relax.

‘Have you talked to any of his mates? What about Callum? I’m sure he could tell a story or two, and Bree worked with Jason.’

‘No,’ April said, rejecting the idea with a shake of the head. It was possible that the pair had tales to tell, but Callum and his wife Bree had been Jason’s friends more than hers and would never break his confidence. They would think they were protecting her. ‘We’ve let our friendship drift and besides, going out with them was always a couples thing.’ Forcing her tone to lighten, she added, ‘I don’t think it would look good if I suggested a threesome!’

‘Never say never,’ Sara said. ‘Not that I’d know. There’s only one person interested in these boobs.’

‘He is beautiful,’ April said, glancing over at the baby in Georgie’s arms. She was tempted to take a closer look, no longer fearing the prospect of finding a reflection of Jason staring back at her. How awful was she to think that Sara would betray her like that?

But Jason had betrayed her, April reminded herself. And he hadn’t done it alone.

‘Do you want a hold?’ Sara asked. She had that proud mother expression when she added, ‘He’s quite cute when you get used to him.’

‘I’d love to but …’

‘You don’t have to explain,’ Sara said. ‘And if you ever need to talk, I’m always at the end of the phone.’

‘I don’t deserve friends like you,’ April said, her bottom lip quivering. ‘You’ve had your own troubles this past year and I haven’t even asked you about Connor. Has he made an appearance yet?’

‘He’s seen Fred and he’ll be a part of his son’s life whether he wants it or not. We’re fine. Don’t worry about us.’

‘I will try harder to be a better friend,’ April promised.

To prove her commitment, April returned to her computer once Sara had left her alone, and deleted her friend’s name from the list. There were people she could still trust, and she prayed she was making the right choices.

8 (#ulink_fa8e44d1-3f86-58b0-ac8c-8be9ad2e98ca)

The buzz of the hedge trimmer set Faith’s teeth on edge as she set about cutting back the leylandii conifers that had grown at least another foot since her gardener, Leon, had tackled it earlier in the year. The hedge divided the land at the rear of the property from that of the neighbours, and she liked it to be high enough to shield her from prying eyes without leaving the rest of the garden in shade. Leon had made the job look easy.

It was Derek who had employed him, and Faith had continued with Leon’s services for as long as she could, but sacrifices had to be made and she had taken the difficult decision to cut back his hours. For appearances’ sake, Leon continued to maintain the front gardens, but Faith was no stranger to hard work and could take care of the rest. If by chance Mr Newton caught a glimpse of her cutting back the conifers, he would see only a figure dressed in black, wearing a baseball cap. He would never presume it was the second Mrs Cavendish.

If anything, pruning the hedge was a novel form of exercise, and Faith had convinced herself it was fun until the rotating blades of the trimmers snagged on a gnarled branch and she lost her balance. She stretched out her arms instinctively to stop herself from falling off the stepladder, and her grip on the trimmers loosened. With her finger still on the trigger, it arced forward and the whirring blades narrowly missed slicing into her thigh. She held back the cry for fear of being overheard, but the near miss left her shaken. She wept angry tears as she hacked at branches that she would not allow to defeat her.

When the job was done and the cuttings cleared away, Faith returned to the house, grabbed a bottle of Chablis from the kitchen, and dragged herself upstairs. She filled a deep bath and added a generous measure of her prized Jo Malone bath oil, because today she deserved it. Stripping off the cheap supermarket clothes she had been wearing, Faith sank beneath the suds and felt her old self return.

With Brahms playing in the background and her wine within easy reach, Faith leafed through a travel brochure. For as long as she cared to remember, planning a holiday was her way of surviving the pre-Christmas frenzy, and a couple of travel reps had been in touch already, having noticed their most loyal customer had yet to book her next trip. Faith had kept them dangling and there was no suggestion that she might forgo a holiday next year. It was something Faith had yet to admit to herself.

A two-week cruise around the Norwegian fjords took her fancy and as she folded the corner of the page, her phone rang. Her thumb hovered over the red decline button as she took a sip of wine. With an exasperated sigh, she accepted the call.

‘Hello, Ella,’ she said affably.

Faith’s stepdaughter had made numerous attempts to call her over the weekend but irritatingly hadn’t left a voicemail. Her persistence, combined with Faith’s curiosity, had finally paid off.

‘I’m glad I caught you at last. I was getting worried.’

‘Ah, sorry about that. I treated myself to a little pamper weekend with friends,’ Faith said as she put down her glass and flexed her hand. Her attack on the garden had cost her a couple of broken nails, and her skin had acquired a roughness she didn’t like. With the money she had saved today, maybe she could afford a spa.

‘I hope you had a good time,’ Ella replied after a slight hesitation, as if she detected the lie.

Faith wouldn’t be surprised if Mr Bloody Newton had a telescope trained on the house, but no matter. A fib told with confidence was far more compelling than whispering truths.

‘Who knew a few days’ relaxation would be so exhausting?’ Faith said with a yawn. She lifted a leg out of the water and watched rivulets of scented oil glide over her skin and caress her tired muscles. ‘It’s probably my body’s reaction to all that pummelling and prodding. Those Swedish massages are brutal.’

‘I can imagine,’ Ella said, possibly convinced. Possibly not. ‘As long as you’re looking after yourself.’

If Faith didn’t do it, who would? Derek was gone.

She closed her eyes to staunch unexpected tears; she was stronger than this. She was a survivor and could face whatever life threw at her, even if it was getting harder. Only this week she had discovered that her department would face yet another reorganisation. It was an occupational hazard and, whilst Faith was good at defending her corner, it would invariably mean more duties being heaped upon her. She had no interest in acquiring new skills, she had adapted enough in her life.

Faith took another sip of wine and painted a smile on her lips loud enough for Ella to hear. ‘So what can I do for you?’

‘I have some news. Jack and I have set a date for our wedding. It’s next July.’

‘Oh, how lovely,’ Faith said. It was a brave step for Ella, considering that her mother was testament to how a marriage could fail, and Faith wasn’t exactly a good advert either. She wished her well.

‘It’s only going to be a small affair, but we would love it if you would come.’

‘I wouldn’t miss it.’

‘I’ll hold you to that,’ said Ella.

Faith couldn’t think of anything worse than an intimate wedding breakfast where Rosemary would deliver the speech in the stead of the father of the bride. Glancing at the travel brochure resting on the edge of the bath, she wondered if the wedding was the justification she needed for one last escape.

She yawned again. ‘Sorry.’