If I Can't Let Go

“If I didn’t know I was in Michigan, I’d swear I was on the English coast,” she told Liam with a smile when he came through the screen door. She automatically took the iced tea he offered her, momentarily forgetting she’d said she didn’t want anything to drink. “It looks so similar.”

“Does it? I’ve never been,” Liam said as he plopped down in the chair that faced hers. His blue eyes were fixed to her mouth. She suddenly felt foolish for saying something so whimsical and took a sip of her tea.

“So what it is it you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Right. To business,” Liam said drolly.

“That is why you called me, isn’t it?”

His small shrug seemed to say that the reason would have to do.

“I don’t know how much you know about my father, but you knew that he was a lawyer,” Liam began.

She nodded. “He was the legal counsel for Langford, a defense contractor and publicly traded company. He’d worked there for over twenty years.”

“You’ve done your homework.”

She lifted her chin to face him. It must seem odd to him to know she’d gathered as much information on his father as she could over the years.

“I’ve told you how curious I was.”

He nodded slowly, his eyes steady on her face, before he took a swallow of tea and set down his glass on a wrought-iron table.

“Then you might know that for a half year before the accident, the Securities and Exchange Commission had been investigating Langford for fraudulent financial statements. As chief counsel for Langford, my father was a major part of that investigation.”

Her pulse began to throb in her throat. She’d wondered about this very issue. Was Liam saying that his father had acted so irresponsibly on that night sixteen years ago because he knew he might be implicated in Langford’s fraudulent practices?

“I had heard about it,” she said quietly. “Just an occasional reference here and there in some old news clippings about the crash. The SEC came out several weeks after the accident and announced that no charges would be made following an investigation at Langford. I thought no wrongdoing was found.”

“There wasn’t any wrongdoing,” Liam said soberly.

“Then…why are you telling me this?”

He paused to take a sip of his tea before he continued. Natalie found herself admiring the muscular movement of his tanned throat as he swallowed. She guiltily met his gaze when he spoke.

“I’m telling you because I figured that you, like most people, would have come up with some sort of conspiracy angle when they heard about the SEC’s investigation. It goes something like this, I can imagine—Derry Kavanaugh swindles thousands of honest shareholders with fraudulent financial reports. When he gets caught by the SEC, though, he can’t stand the prospect of his family and the public knowing he’s nothing but a dirty criminal. He’d rather die than face the music. So he gets smashed one night and in the process of offing himself, selfishly takes three other lives as well.”

Her cheeks burned at his seemingly casual recital. Maybe he’d stated it bluntly to make a point, but what he’d said was true. She had wondered if something akin to that was behind Derry Kavanaugh’s erratic actions that night. Despite her embarrassment, she refused to be cowed by Liam’s subtle sarcasm.

“I’ll admit I wondered about the SEC’s investigation. Even if he’d been innocent, your father might have been over-wrought. The investigation had gone on for months. That’s a terrific amount of pressure to live under, especially when he had to keep working and putting up a brave front. Many people would crack under stress like that.”

She paused, feeling self-conscious when Liam said nothing but just studied her, his long legs bent before him and his arms sprawled on the sides of the chair. Beneath his seeming insouciance, she sensed a diamond-hard edge, however, a tension that belied all that relaxed male brawn.

It made her wary, this difficulty she had in reading him. Was he angry?

“How do you know that wasn’t the case with your father?” she persisted, despite her uncertainty.

“Because my father knew that the SEC wasn’t going to level any charges at the time of the accident.”

“What?” Natalie asked, sitting forward. “But the SEC didn’t announce that until weeks after the crash.”

“True,” Liam said briskly. “But I accessed Langford’s financial disclosures. The details of the investigation are in the files. The SEC had finished their investigation and made their determination weeks before the accident. The announcement just wasn’t made to the public until a stockholders’ meeting several weeks later. As chief legal counsel, my father knew the SEC’s decision as soon as it was made. I have a dated memo that proves that fact. My father definitely knew Langford was cleared of any wrongdoing at the time of the accident.”

“I see.”

“Disappointed?” he asked.

“No. No, of course not,” she said, irritated. How could he be so warm at times, and at others, downright confrontational? “I want the truth, not easy answers.”

Something about the tilt of his mouth before he took another swallow of his tea made her think he doubted her.

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked impulsively.

“Sure.”

“Did you already know what you just told me, or was it news to you?”

He shooed a buzzing fly away with a lazy flip of his hand before he answered. “I knew, but in a family-knowledge kind of way. I wasn’t sure of the facts.”

“What do you mean?” Natalie asked. She leaned forward even farther in her chair. She couldn’t help it. She was sitting with a man who had known firsthand the secrets of the Kavanaugh house. Things that Natalie had wondered about incessantly were common knowledge to Liam.

Something sparked in his eyes when he noticed her curiosity…her eagerness.

“So this is the part where it’s handy to have an inside man for your investigator?” he asked softly.

“It’s not bizarre that I would want to know what you know.”

His nostrils flared slightly as he studied her, but then he sighed and glanced toward the lake. The sunlight reflecting off the water seemed to make his eyes even more electric blue than usual.

“True. But your interest makes me uncomfortable. People tend to keep family stuff close. Until Mari Itani came back to town a year ago, we hardly ever mentioned the crash amongst ourselves. Hell, my sister Deidre took off after the crash and hasn’t been back to Harbor Town since, let alone sat around for chats about our father getting bombed one night and killing himself and three other people.”

Guilt seeped into her awareness. She wasn’t the only one who carried open wounds. For a few seconds, she wasn’t sure what to say.

“You wonder if I’ve asked you to unlock Pandora’s box,” she said quietly after a moment.

His gaze narrowed on her, and Natalie realized she’d been correct in what she’d said. This was the source of the conflict she sensed in him.

“My mother told us when we were young that people might make snide comments about Dad being mixed up in fraud soon after the accident. She was right. Kids can be cruel. They overhear their parents saying stuff, and they might not understand the content, but they get the tone. My mom prepared us by explaining that the investigation at Langford had showed no wrongdoing. Until you asked me to look into matters officially, I had no way of proving what my mother told us, though. Now I can. I’ve seen the records.” He flashed a hard look before he took a sip of his tea. “Turns out that my mother was right all along. My father didn’t have a meltdown on that night because he thought he was going to be exposed as a crook.”

“Do you really think I’m disappointed because you didn’t discover some dirt on your father?” she asked incredulously.

His teeth flashed white in his tanned face, but he hardly looked amused. “It would have been a convenient story for you. Something to hang your hat on.”

“I told you I was interested in the truth, whatever that may be,” she countered. “I’m not your enemy, Liam. I’d like to think we’re on the same side.”

“It might seem like we’re on the same side until I uncover something that makes my father look worse than he already does. Did you ever think about that when you cooked up this little scheme?”

She sat rigid in her chair. His voice had been quiet, but she sensed his volatility.