If I Can't Let Go

“I didn’t do this to take your memories of your father away from you. If it’s true that you discover something about him that you don’t like in this process, I’m sorry. More sorry than you know. But if that were the case, it wouldn’t be me that changed the way you thought of your father. It would have been him, Liam. And you…because you were honest enough to look for the truth.”

His stare burned all the way down to her heart, but she didn’t back down.

“I hired you for several different reasons,” she continued in a hushed tone, “but the main one was that you search for the truth at all costs. That’s the conclusion I came to after I spoke with Mari and after I read all those articles about your undercover work that exposed all those corrupt cops.”

He abruptly collapsed back in his chair, the palpable tension in his muscles dissipating. He exhaled heavily.

“I hope you made a good decision,” he said.

“I did. Besides, has it ever occurred to you that the opposite might occur?”

His drawn brows told her he wasn’t following.

“You might uncover something that makes you understand your father better than ever before. You might gain an even clearer picture of Derry Kavanaugh. Perhaps you’ll be able to love your father more…not less.”

Something flashed in his eyes that she couldn’t interpret. For a few seconds, only the sounds of the waves hitting the beach and the birds twittering in the trees reached her ears.

“How long have you danced?” he asked abruptly, taking her by surprise.

“What?”

A lopsided grin tilted his mouth. “How long have you danced?” he repeated slowly. “It’s pretty obvious you’ve been doing it a long time. You’re very talented.” His gaze turned warm. “I had no idea accountants could be so…flexible.”

She blushed. Damn him. His was turning the focus of the conversation onto her to keep it off himself. He constantly made her feel like an awkward adolescent. And he did it without effort. She sipped her tea and glanced out at the lake, squinting behind her sunglasses.

“I told you no one was meant to see that. It’s not very kind of you to keep bringing it up,” she said coolly.

He looked genuinely confused by her statement. “I’m not being unkind, I’m just…fascinated.”

She turned to him, her lips parted. “Fascinated? By what?”

“By you. Does that surprise you?”

“Yes,” she said quickly.

He laughed after a second. She couldn’t imagine why he seemed so bewildered when she was the one who was utterly baffled.

“So…how long? Have you danced?” he clarified when she just continued to gape at him.

“I started ballet when I was eight years old,” she said.

“You’re good enough to do it professionally. Don’t you want to?” he asked matter-of-factly.

She was the one to laugh this time. “Forgive me for saying so, but I don’t think you’re much of an expert.” When he quirked his eyebrows at her, she laughed some more. “I like to dance for fun. I still take lessons. It’s a hobby, but I think it’d be a monumental mistake to quit my day job.”

His shrug seemed to say he’d let her have her way because he didn’t want to ruffle her feathers any more than he already had. Natalie decided that it was imperative to bring this conversation back to professional matters.

“Liam—” She paused when he tensed. His steady gaze unnerved her. “What…why are you looking at me like that?” she mumbled incredulously.

“It’s nice…the way you say my name. So, where were you going when I called you?” he asked. Natalie blinked. Had he really just said he liked the sound of her saying his name with so much heat, and then switched the topic as casually as if he was making a comment about the weather?

“I was on my way to my brother’s. I was going to make him dinner, if he was available.”

“Why don’t you let me make you dinner instead? I grill a mean steak and make a mediocre salad.”

“That’s not necessary—”

“I know it’s not necessary. I want to. Why are you so surprised by that?”

“It’ll take more than Liam Kavanaugh offering to cook a meal to surprise me,” she shot back in the midst of her rising confusion.

Her breath caught when he leaned forward and examined her through a narrowed gaze.

“You’re not being honest,” he murmured, his light tone belying his X-raying gaze. “You’re surprised that I want to have dinner with you. Why would you be surprised that a man would want to have dinner with a beautiful woman, Natalie?”

Chapter Three

He’d give anything to comprehend what was going on in that brain of hers. One second she was acting like a skittish colt and the next she was saying something deadpan in that low, sexy voice of hers, reminding him for all the world of a sophisticated Bacall baiting Bogie.

She was a puzzle, and the detective in him needed to figure her out.

Liam bit off a potent urge to ask her to take off her glasses. He knew she wore them to protect her sensitive eye, so he refrained. Barely. They’d sat there and talked for the past half hour and almost the entire time he’d been hungry to look into those soft, dark eyes… When he wasn’t admiring her elegant arms, or the slope of her shoulders, or her legs or her firm, full breasts.

He felt guilty about it, but he wasn’t really sorry that the cleaning lady had switched on that light the other night. He was greedy. If that light hadn’t gone on, he wouldn’t have been gifted with the vision of Natalie’s exquisite face and huge, startled eyes.

He wouldn’t have sacrificed that.

Why did he have this almost overwhelming need to touch her again, like he had the other night? She’d quivered in his arms like a shaking leaf, but she’d felt so soft.

She’d fit against him perfectly. He couldn’t quiet the desire to explore every nuance of that fit.

It was a mistake to ask her to dinner. He saw how tense she’d gone at his suggestion and he sank back in his chair.

“It’s just dinner, Natalie.”

“I know that,” she replied quickly.

He felt bad. Gone was the impenetrable woman with the quick tongue. She seemed flustered. He thought it would be prudent to give her some space to gather herself. He stood. “I’ll go and defrost some steaks and then take a quick shower. Are you going to be okay out here for a few minutes?”

“I…yes, but—”

“Great, because I’ll be back before you know it. I’ll tell you the rest of what I found out over dinner.”

“There’s more?” she asked, sitting up straighter.

Bingo, Liam thought. He’d hit the right button. He wondered, though, when she spoke next.

“Don’t defrost the steaks,” she said suddenly. Liam was positive she was about to say it would be prudent for her to leave.