Seventy-Two Virgins

Seventy-Two Virgins
Boris Johnson

Seventy-Two Virgins is a comic political novel, with similar appeal to Stephen Fry or Ben Elton, written by one of Britain's most popular politicians. It is Boris Johnson’s first novel and was widely acclaimed on publication.The American President, on a State Visit to Britain is giving a major address to a top-level audience in Westminster Hall. Ferocious security – with some difficulties in communication – is provided by a joint force of the United States Secret Service and Scotland Yard. The best sharpshooters from both countries are stationed on the roof of the Parliament buildings.Then a stolen ambulance runs into trouble with the Parking Authorities. A hapless Member of Parliament, having mislaid his crucial pass, is barred from Westminster, his bicycle regarded as a potential lethal weapon. And a man going by the name of Jones, although born in Karachi, successfully slips through the barriers, and whole new ball game starts.Despite the united efforts of the finest security minds, events begin to spin out of control. A remarkable new worldwide reality television show dominates the airwaves. And the most unlikely heroes emerge…

BORIS JOHNSON

Seventy-Two Virgins

COPYRIGHT (#ulink_df16ffe8-66e3-54cd-acbe-c2408a88d0fa)

HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)

Copyright © Boris Johnson 2004

Boris Johnson asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

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Source ISBN: 9780007198054

Ebook Edition © APRIL 2016 ISBN: 9780007383504

Version: 2016-04-18

PRAISE FOR SEVENTY-TWO VIRGINS (#ulink_a8ef0916-6797-5cd3-835e-63d317c67159)

‘A hectic comedy thriller … refreshingly unpompous and very funny.’

Mail on Sunday

‘Johnson scores in his comic handling of those most sensitive issues… he succeeds in being charming and sincere … a witty page-turner.’

Observer

‘Among the hilarious scenes of events and the wonderful dialogue which keeps the story moving at a cracking pace, Johnson uncovers some home truths … I can give no higher praise to this book than to say that I lapped it up at a single uproarious sitting.’

Irish Examiner

‘As an author, he is in a class of his own: ebullient, exhausting but irresistible.’

Daily Mail

‘Fluent, funny material … the writing is vintage, Wode-housian Boris … it has been assembled with skill and terrific energy and will lift morale in the soul of many.’

Evening Standard

‘At the centre of his first novel is a terrorist plot of frightening ingenuity … the comedy is reminiscent of Tom Sharpe.’

Sunday Times

‘This is a comic novel, but Johnson is never far away from making serious points, which he leads us towards with admirable stealth.’

Daily Telegraph

‘A splendidly accomplished and gripping first novel … Few authors could get away with it, but this one most certainly does. Highly recommended.’

Sunday Telegraph

‘The rollicking pace and continuous outpouring of comic invention make the book … The guardians of our author’s future need not worry. This is a laurel from a new bush, but certainly a prizewinner.’

Spectator

‘Invents a genre all of his own: a post 9/11 farce … a pacy, knockabout political thriller which takes in would-be terrorists careering through Westminster in a stolen ambulance, a visit from the US president, celebrity chefs, snipers, tabloids chasing extra-curricular … as much fun reading it as Johnson had writing it.’

GQ

‘As well as Mr Johnson’s inside knowledge of Parliament and his exuberantly idiosyncratic prose style, Mr Johnson is also brilliant at characterisation – each one of his cast of hundreds leaps to life in a few sentences … and yes, I laughed out loud approximately every 30 minutes.’

Country Life

DEDICATION (#ulink_4367316b-6ad0-5ba4-81d3-3e5fd067c706)

Optimis parentibus

CONTENTS

Cover (#ucacae23f-4eca-5319-89b8-59b8237c050a)

Title Page (#u6dc558c4-00fc-56ab-a4b8-00f520502a59)

Copyright (#ulink_5e536b68-9b06-550b-8226-455363250d1d)

Praise for Seventy-Two Virgins (#ulink_52d3992c-91e6-5032-9480-5d5d6cecc08d)

Dedication (#ulink_c64c8dfd-8ee0-5c95-97fc-fc22685267b9)

Part One: The Trojan Ambulance (#ulink_d97cdec9-7b2d-5c55-81fe-8b6251c19688)

Chapter One: 0752 Hrs (#ulink_19f55190-7428-57ff-81b2-70925f636602)

Chapter Two: 0824 Hrs (#ulink_2623cdd8-85a8-5662-8b4f-c8b46ffac788)

Chapter Three: 0832 Hrs (#ulink_577a0b02-d41c-5fac-afd9-03c3d313b536)