The Revolt: A Play In One Act

GRACE. Oh, I want to be a lawyer, a plump, jolly lawyer. And you, Edith?

EDITH. I want to be an editor.

GRACE. Republican or Democrat?

EDITH. I don't know. The kind with a big automobile. And you, Ida?

IDA. I want to be a politician.

Mat. An honest one, of course.

IDA. Well, no. A successful politician. And you, May?

Mat. I want to run a vegetable market, where the women can come with their market baskets.

SUSAN. Where the men can come with their market baskets, (to PAULINE) And you, you poor creature, have you never felt the longing to usurp man's sphere? Have you never longed to do a man's work?

PAULINE. Oh, yes, mam. This humble heart (tapping her waist) has felt the what-you-call it many a time. I have always wished, mam, to be a pirate.

All. A pirate!

PAULINE. A pirate. And why not? That's men's work. Listen: —

Since my mother's lap I played in
When I was a wee small maiden —

SUSAN. Just so high!

All. Just so high!

PAULINE.

I have had a great ambition
For to better my condition —

SUSAN. So have I.

All. So have I.

PAULINE.

Dolls was things I much detested
Toys left me uninterested.
Even as a little baby
I had hopes that sometime, maybe
I could be a roaring pirate,
Be a swearing, tearing pirate,
Be a shocking, wicked pirate,
With a cruel, cruel eye,

SUSAN. I call that a very noble and uplifting ambition for a modern young lady.

PAULINE.

Listen: —

I have dreamed of death and slaughter
On the wild tumultuous water

SUSAN. Oh, how dear!

ALL. Oh, how dear!

PAULINE.

I have longed to wear a dagger
And cut throats, and swear, and swagger.

SUSAN, Hear! Hear!

All. Hear! Hear!

PAULINE.

All around me, dead and dying,
I would see my victims lying;
And I'd laugh out loud and louder
As I smelled the blood and powder,
For I'd be a roaring pirate,
Be a swearing, tearing pirate,
Bloody-bones, the heartless pirate,
With a cruel, cruel eye.

SUSAN. I consider Bloody-bones a very sweet name for a young lady pirate. Very!

PAULINE. Yes, mam. (curtseys) So, if it's all the same to you, I'd like to be a pirate, mam, SUSAN. Certainly. A pirate's life is a very mannish occupation.

KATE. Wouldn't it be lovely to be a pirate! It is much more interesting than being a doctor.

PAULINE. Yes, Miss Kate. And there's no scrubbin' on a pirate craft. The wash of the sea is merely a poetical term. And if the men is drove off the land, they'll take to ships, do you see, and there'll be plenty of work for a respectable, blood-thirsty lady pirate to do, catchin' 'em and extinguishing 'em.

GRACE. Oh, girls, wouldn't it be lovely to be pirates?

SUSAN. Then be pirates! The Militant Suffragettes need a navy as well as an army. Every revolution needs its privateers.

KATE. No more sewing! (gathers up sewing and throws it down)

PAULINE. No more scrubbin'. (throws away mop and brush)