The Revolt: A Play In One Act

GRACE. No more rag bags! (takes rag bag from chair, and is about to throw it, when red rags fall out)

PAULINE. Hold on, Miss GRACE! Pirates is mostly dressed out of rag bags, (winds red rag around GRACE's head, and a red rag as sash. All do likewise) Wait till I get the swords, (exit PAULINE)

KATE, (front, with clenched fists) OO – I feel blood-thirsty!

SUSAN. And you look extremely blood-thirsty.

GRACE, OO – I feel ferocious!

SUSAN. And you look too ferocious for anything.

EDITH. OO – I feel wicked!

SUSAN. You are certainly a fear-compelling sight.

IDA. OO – I feel murderous!

SUSAN. You look like a most criminal character.

Mat. OO – I feel dangerous!

SUSAN. You look extremely dangerous.

PAULINE. (entering with table knives, etc.) OO – I feel like if I seen a cake of soap I could kick it! (she distributes knives)

SUSAN. Reserve your wrath for the men. (drawing them all to her) Hist! To-night – at dead of night – we will capture – a lumber schooner – at Copp's lumber yard —

All. Aye! Aye! Mam!

SUSAN. To-night – at dead of night – meet me – at the corner of – Main and Broadway!

All. Aye! Aye! Mam!

SUSAN. To-night – at dead of night – we will strangle the watchmen —

KATE. At dead of night? I don't think we ought to strangle watchmen at dead of night unless we have a chaperone, do you girls?

SUSAN. Nonsense! What kind of Suffragettes are you to need a chaperone? I don't have a chaperone.

GRACE. Well, I don't care! I'm not going out strangling at night without a chaperone! It isn't proper.

SUSAN. But you are a pirate.

EDITH. I don't care if we are pirates. We don't have to be improper pirates. I want to strangle and murder in a perfectly proper manner.

PAULINE. How about takin' the old lady with you?

KATE. Grandma Gregg? Why, she's no Suffragette. Oh, girls! The very thing! We will take Grandma Gregg! We'll capture her! We'll take her, in chains!

SUSAN. Excellent! You will have your chaperone, and I will be rid of the most dangerous Anti-suffra-gette! Seek her and seize her!

All. We go! We go! (exit all, left, except PAULINE) (enter GRANDMA GREGG, right)

GRANDMA. I thought I heard a noise, Pauline. How are the dear girls getting on with their lessons?

PAULINE, (curtseys) Fine, mam. They're learning new tricks every day.

GRANDMA. (picking up dummy and laying it over chair back) Very good. But I wouldn't wear a bandeau on my hair if I were you, Pauline. I don't like these ribbons bound around the head of young girls. They make them look like pirates. (PAULINE starts uneasily)

PAULINE. Pirates, mam? What a notion!

GRANDMA. Pirates, or Italian ditch diggers.

PAULINE, (boldly) Well, mam, let it be pirates, then. Pirate is what I am. (hesitates) Grandma Gregg, you've always been good to me, barring the scrubbing and mopping and blacking shoes and stoves. If I was you, mam, I'd pack some clothes, so as to be ready for the sea voyage.

GRANDMA. Me? A sea voyage?

PAULINE. Yes'm. (curtseys) This Susan Jane Jones is not what she seems, mam. I let on, mam, I was of her way of thinking, mam, but I ain't. A husband is good enough woman's rights for me, mam. A nice, quiet, well-behaved husband like that one there is all I want.

GRANDMA. I don't understand you.

PAULINE. Susan Jane Jones is a Militant Suffragette, mam.

GRANDMA. A Militant Suffragette? In this academy?

PAULINE. Yes, mam. (curtseys) She's here like a snake in the grass, mam, and her and the young ladies is goin' to extinguish all the men. They're all goin' to be pirates, mam, and most bloody minded pirates they be, too. And you, mam, that never did them any harm, they are going to capture and take along with them in chains. For a chaperone, mam.

GRANDMA, (hanging her head) And is this the reward for my efforts to make good wives of them!

(Enter SUSAN cautiously. She beckons to the girls.)

SUSAN. This way! She's here!

(The girls creep in, knives in their teeth, swaggering like story-book pirates. SUSAN folds her arms.)

SUSAN. Woman! Your hour has come!

GRANDMA. Well, I do declare!

SUSAN. These poor maidens you thought to corrupt into housework ways, I have won from you. Here, to-day, the revolution that will sweep the men from the land and sea, begins! We are resolved! ALL. (shouting) We are resolved!

SUSAN. In these hearts burns nothing but hatred and detestation of man.

ALL. (shouting) Hatred and detestation.

KATE. We don't want to have anything more to do with men.

GRACE. We are absolutely through with them. And with boys, too.