Valentine's Dream: Love Changes Everything / Sweet Sensation / Made in Heaven

“Okay, time to leave. They’re getting tired,” Grace said. She slid out of her seat, lifting Becca. “I’ll be back in a minute,” she said to Carter as she and her daughter headed for the ladies’ room.

When Grace returned to the table, Carter had already taken care of the bill. Together they headed in the direction of the parking lot, meandering their way through the mall, which was crowded with shoppers, aimless teens, a plethora of baby strollers and children.

Grace suddenly felt a stilted silence between herself and Carter. And she was very much aware of his physical presence. In a strange, intimate way, he made her more aware of herself. Grace wondered suddenly if she looked attractive in her black stretch pants and white cashmere sweater set. She absently fingered her hair. Was it fluffy and cute like when she’d combed it that morning, or had the cold, breezy air left it a mess?

They slowly followed behind the two children, who seemed to be enjoying the noisy bustle of the mall. Grace was very mindful of the one probing question Carter kept asking her about Benson. She worried that somehow her answer was inadequate. Why hadn’t she been more forthright? And she couldn’t stop herself from replaying in her mind the things Marjorie had said to her. Had she wanted Carter to hold her?

Grace took several more steps before she realized that Carter was no longer beside her. She looked quickly around and spotted him approaching a jeweler’s window to browse the brightly lit display of rings, necklaces and bracelets.

“Madison. Becca. Come over here,” Grace called to her children.

Becca skipped over and squeezed in front of Carter, and then she stood on tiptoe to peer into the showcase.

“I can’t see,” she complained.

Carter obliged by lifting her into his arms. Madison grew bored and walked away to a nearby water fountain. Grace kept an eye on him but joined Becca and Carter at the store window.

“What are you looking for?” she asked.

“It’s that time of year again,” Carter said.

Puzzled, Grace followed his gaze to the cutout red hearts, confetti and curled ribbons, which hit shoppers over the head with the reminder that Valentine’s Day was just around the corner.

“I want that,” Becca said, pointing with a small finger.

“That’s too expensive,” Carter replied, shaking his head.

“What’s she pointing to?” Grace asked, searching the display. She caught Carter’s gaze over the top of Becca’s head. He silently shrugged and raised his brows as if to say, what difference does it make?

Grace grinned and went back to examining the jewelry. She took in all the things a man could give a woman to show his love. Benson had never succumbed to such ploys.

“What do you want for Valentine’s Day?” Carter asked Grace as he set Becca back on her feet. The little girl immediately joined Madison at the water fountain.

“Nothing,” Grace said, waiting until the kids had caught up to her and Carter.

“I don’t believe you.”

“I’m serious,” Grace said, holding out her hand to her daughter.

“Are you telling me that your husband never did it up right on February 14?”

“He made up for it at Christmas, on our anniversary and on my birthday. That was fine by me,” she said, and it was true.

Still, Grace had a sudden and overwhelming sensation of isolation, almost abandonment. She distinctly recalled her last Valentine’s Day celebration with Benson. It had been three months before he’d suffered a fatal aneurysm. He’d gotten her flowers, and they’d gone out to dinner. But he’d spent the whole evening discussing his problems with the mayor’s staff. He’d taken a cell phone call and texted several messages of his own. It had not been a special night to her at all. But then, she’d always known about his intense focus on his career.

“Why are so you interested in how Benson and I spent Valentine’s Day?” Grace asked Carter.

“Just curious. Last year I wanted to send something to Marjorie. I realized that with Benson gone, there was no one to remember her. So, when I sent flowers to my mother in Virginia, I sent some to Marjorie as well. I know it’s been tough for her.”

“Is that why you sent me flowers and candy?”

Grace was a bit surprised by the intensity with which Carter returned her gaze before he finally responded.

“That was one of the reasons.”

Her stomach churned. She wasn’t going to ask what other reasons he had. “Well, it was very—”

“Romantic?” he asked with a smile.

“Nice,” she corrected.

He shook his head. “You say that like you thought I was either a confirmed bachelor or gay.”

She couldn’t smile at his attempt at humor. It would never enter her mind that Carter might be gay, especially since Benson had told her about some of Carter’s girlfriends and love affairs when they were in law school together.

And there was certainly something genuine about the comfort she’d received from his embrace that one time. She’d never forgotten.

While her own thoughts and questions were putting her through an emotional wringer, Grace absently consented when Carter asked if it was okay to get Madison and Becca ice cream. She declined his offer to get some for her as well.

After accepting his waffle cone, Madison raced to hold two recently vacated bistro tables and chairs so they could all sit down.

“What’s your idea of a romantic Valentine’s Day?” Carter asked Grace as he slowly consumed his ice cream. “What would really do it for you?”

Grace sighed. “Are we back to that again?” But she pensively gnawed her lip. “I don’t know if I should tell you. It’s going to sound indulgent. Foolish. Whiny.”

“I’ll let you know if it is or not.”

Grace gave him a crooked grin. She got over her shyness and decided to treat Carter’s question like a game of what-if.

“Well, first of all, I get to sleep late. Somebody else has the kids. There will be flowers all over the house. Inside my croissant, I’d find a pair of diamond ear studs....” Carter laughed at that. “In the refrigerator, a bottle of Perrier Joet champagne. The local spa would call to tell me I have an appointment for a massage, and they’re sending a car to pick me up. After that, we’re flown by helicopter to a secret retreat for three days and two nights of...” Grace stopped, remembering that her children were within earshot of her recitation. “You get the idea,” she concluded.

“Who’s the other person in the ‘we’ part?” Carter asked.

Grace reined herself in. Fantasy over. She was back at the mall with her kids, Carter, and a cast of thousands. She pursed her mouth. “I don’t know. I was just making it up.”

“Can I come with you?” Madison suddenly asked.

Carter grinned broadly. Grace glared at him. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. Mommy was just pretending.” She felt Becca pulling on her arm.

“I wanna go home.”

“We’re leaving now,” Grace said, standing up and taking her daughter’s hand.

* * *

Once they all arrived back at Grace’s house, Carter became the sole and exclusive playmate of Madison and Becca. And while Grace was amazed and relieved that her children had taken so effortlessly to him, she couldn’t wait for Carter to leave.

It wasn’t so much that he’d gotten too comfortable too quickly in her children’s lives, but that Carter was insidiously burrowing into hers. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy his company, his bantering and his thoughtfulness. It was the other possibilities that could be part of the package. Every time her mind ventured into the unknown, Grace was pulled back to reality by two things. The first was the notion that she’d somehow been unfaithful to her late husband’s memory. The second was a fear of falling.