Healing The Md's Heart: Healing the MD's Heart

“He’s done everything right. He had the picture-book childhood, he’s raised Noah and dealt with all his medical crises alone, and he’s a great father. He knows how to love someone.”

“And those are bad things?”

“No, of course not. But frankly that puts his standards for what he expects out of a relationship pretty high and I don’t want to put myself in a position of feeling I can’t measure up.”

“Is that it?” Obviously skeptical, Sawyer studied her a moment then touched her arm. “Lia, I know things didn’t work out with Tonio. We have some pretty long nights at the fire station. He told me you ended it because you couldn’t—or—wouldn’t commit.” He paused, as though giving her a moment to deny it. When she didn’t, he added, “I also know it’s not the first time you’ve done that with someone who might have made you happy. So, I don’t mean to be blunt, but what’s the real problem?”

Feeling suddenly exposed and entirely uncomfortable with the turn of conversation, Lia withdrew. She liked Sawyer; there had been a time, before he’d gotten involved with Maya, that they’d briefly dated. But back then, he’d been as or more skittish as her about getting seriously involved and any potential for a romantic relationship between them had led nowhere. Now she counted him as a friend but she didn’t want to spill all her insecurities to him.

She slid off the table, the chart in her hand now pressed against her chest like a shield. “Some people just aren’t meant for all of that—commitment, marriage, happily ever after.”

“Some people don’t allow themselves to find out if they’re meant for it or not. I almost didn’t. But look at Maya and me now.”

“You and Maya are different. My family…” She shook her head.

Sawyer let out a rueful laugh. “Come on, Lia, you’ve met Shem and Azure. Maya’s parents aren’t even in the realm of normal by anyone’s definition. She grew up in a three-ring hippy circus. And Jed, my mother and my family? If you’re trying to compare any issues you grew up with against my zoo of a family, we both know I win hands down.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that.”

“Maybe, I don’t know all that much about your family. But I gave Maya a chance and she did the same for me. Isn’t it fair to Duran—and to yourself—to at least give him a chance?”

The challenge in his words penetrated her being as she turned to the door. Her back to him, she answered as casually as she could. “I’ll think about it. I’m sorry but I have to go see my next patient. Be sure to drink some orange juice and have something to eat.”

“Lia—”

She glanced over her shoulder, shot him an unconvincing smile. “Say hi to Maya, okay?”

She left before he could come up with another argument to convince her, her emotions and thoughts in turmoil she wouldn’t be sorting out any time soon.

Because she had to, she pulled herself together, heading down the hall, rounding the corner toward the next patient room—and almost ran smack into Duran and Noah.

Great. After her disconcerting conversation with Sawyer and the way she and Duran had left things after the party, Duran was the last person she wanted to see right now. “Hi,” she managed, rummaging around for a smile, for Noah’s benefit more than anything. “I didn’t know you had an appointment today.”

“We didn’t really,” Duran said. “But Noah insisted on seeing you.”

“About what?” Lia asked, confused. She looked between Duran and Noah.

“We’re gonna visit Uncle Rafe’s tribe,” Noah burst in before Duran could answer. “They’re gonna have a ceremony and do dances and wear strange clothes. And Dad’s gonna film them.”

“Really? That sounds exciting.” She glanced at Duran, hoping for more of an explanation and how she fit into all this.

“I’ve been talking to Rafe and learning more about the Pinwa,” he said. “It’s his mother’s tribe and they’re dying out. In fact, there are only about three hundred members left. The more he tells me, the more I think it may make an excellent subject for a documentary. I’ve been putting off starting a new project since I finished the last one a few months ago because of everything going on. This seemed like a good opportunity to at least get started on something else while Noah and I are here in New Mexico.”

“I see,” Lia said, though she didn’t, at least not her role in it.

“Like Noah said, Rafe invited us to visit. I’d like to take Noah up to meet Rafe’s family and at the same time, I can get a better feel for the documentary possibility.”

“Okay. It sounds like a great plan. What did you need me for?”

“To ask if you think Noah is stable enough to be away for a couple of days.”

A fleeting thought that he might have come to invite her to go along died. There was no possibility of that; he was probably still upset with her from the party the other night. This was purely a consultation with the nearest thing Noah had to a regular doctor in Luna Hermosa.

“He’ll be fine, I think,” she answered with a trace of honest hesitation. When Duran frowned, she tried to sound more enthusiastic. “I mean we should go over a couple of things first, but I don’t see why he should miss an opportunity like this.”

Noah tugged at Duran’s sleeve. “See, Dad, I told you Dr. Kerrigan would let me go.” He looked to Lia, all eager anticipation. “Can you come, too? Uncle Rafe and Aunt Jule said you could.”

Lia stumbled in replying. She hated to tell Noah no, but she doubted his father had any hand in his impromptu invitation. What she didn’t doubt was that Jule, following her sister-in-laws’ examples, was trying her hand at matchmaking and she made a mental note to tell her friend she was wasting her time.