Healing The Md's Heart: Healing the MD's Heart

Lia bent and gave Noah a hug. “We’ll be talking again about some exciting things for you soon. For today, though, I’ll just finish up here so I can meet you at the ranch later.”

“We’ll be looking forward to it,” Duran said and after all her doubts about whether or not he wanted her there, Lia believed it was true.

Chapter Six

“All saddled up and ready to ride,” Josh said with a brisk slap to the plump old paint’s rump. “Peggy here will do just fine for you, Noah. She’s used to goin’ nice and slow. Anna never had a bit of trouble with her when she was learnin’ to ride.”

“This is my horse,” Sammy, sitting atop a smaller mare, proudly pointed out to Noah. “Her name is Sarah. I always ride her.”

Nearby, Cort was helping Tommy lengthen his stirrup, Anna watching from the horse beside them. “If you keep growing like this, we’re gonna have to find you a new saddle.” He turned to Duran. “Just wait until Noah hits his teens. You can’t keep ’em clothed or fed.”

Duran had rarely let himself indulge in imaging Noah as a teenager. The thought that he might never see his son grow up always quelled his visions. But now, could he dare to indulge in thinking of, even planning for Noah’s future? Every cell in his body screamed yes, but the euphoria of hearing Sawyer was a match was dispelling, leaving in its wake all-too-familiar fears. At the hospital all he could feel was hope. After even a few short hours of mulling things over, letting the news sink in, reason declared war on blind optimism.

He distanced himself from the raging conflict of emotions, not willing to air them to his brothers, and simply answered Cort with a noncommittal, “So I’ve heard.”

Cort stopped what he was doing and laid a hand on Duran’s shoulder. Duran tensed, but it didn’t seem to discourage Cort. “You’ll find out. Josh told me the great news about Sawyer.”

“It is good news,” Duran said, thinking how inadequate his words were compared to his feelings. “I’m still a little overwhelmed, I guess.”

“I can see why. But you’ve got the best pediatrician in town on your team.” Both men turned to catch Lia a few feet away throwing one long, slender leg over her mount. “And she’s not a half-bad horsewoman either.”

Lia, not knowing they were talking about her, threaded the reins through her fingers. “Where are your girls and your little boy today?” she called over to Cort.

“Quin had a playdate and the girls are at ballet. Angela would have gladly skipped it to come riding, but Laurel wouldn’t hear of it. That’s what they get for having a teacher for a mother. Laurel would consider it an insult to another teacher to let her daughter ditch class.”

“Too bad for them,” Tommy said, slanting a grin at Anna. “They’re gonna be jealous we got to go.”

Cort gave Tommy a stern look. “No rubbing it in or next time you’ll be sitting in on ballet class.”

The threat made Noah giggle. “That would be way funny.”

“Ha, ha,” Tommy shot back.

Finishing Tommy’s stirrups, Cort turned back to Duran. “I know you keep hearing this, but anything Laurel and I can do—” he paused “—anything at all. We’re here.”

“I told him he was stuck with us,” Josh added as he lifted Noah onto Peggy’s back. He gave Noah a quick lesson on how to steady himself and stay upright, then swung into the saddle of his own mount.

Duran appreciated the gesture; he still couldn’t believe how readily and easily his brothers had accepted him, Noah and their situation. It almost seemed too good to be true, and a big part of him feared it was. While none of his brothers had said or done anything to justify his doubts yet, he had long abandoned the habit of relying on anyone else for support or comfort.

And that’s why you keep spilling everything to Lia? Because you don’t share, you don’t rely on anyone?

He caught her watching him and the slight questioning expression on her face made him wonder what she’d read in his. Shaking off his introspection, he looked between Cort and Josh and said, “I don’t know how to thank you, all of you.”

“By helpin’ us get these kids to the pond.” Josh pointed to a wooded area to the east. “We’ll keep it to a walk, since it’s your first time, Noah.”

“Can we go already?” Noah insisted, wriggling excitedly in his saddle.

Duran watched his eager son, reins in hand, looking as comfortable and confident on Peggy as a boy who’d grown up on a ranch. “Stay close to Dr. Kerrigan and me, okay?”

“Tommy, you and Anna keep an eye on Noah, same as you do with Angela,” Cort called after his son, who’d already taken the group’s lead.

Tommy waved him off over his shoulder and let out an exaggerated sigh. “I know, I know.”

“Don’t worry,” Josh said, “Noah will be fine. Peggy’s real good with kids and she knows her way to the pond. All Noah’s gotta do is hold on.”

Wanting to believe Josh, Duran nodded, but the protective father in him wouldn’t rest easy again until Peggy was back in the barn and Noah was safely on solid ground.

Once started in the right direction, the group of them fell into a comfortable pattern, the kids riding a little ahead, he and Lia side by side behind them, Cort and Josh bringing up the rear. Duran began to relax a bit, soak in the sun and breathtaking high country scenery. It was then he was finally able to focus his attention on Lia.

She fairly glowed beneath the afternoon sun, her hair threaded with a thousand different highlights of copper and gold, her cheeks flushed soft pink, a slight smile curving her lips as she savored the air fragrant with pinion and sage.

“You ride well,” he said, taking note of the curve of her backside and thighs beneath slim jeans as her body rose and fell in harmony with her horse’s rhythm.

“Me? No, hardly,” she said with a chuckle. “I’ve never had time to pursue it as a sport or a hobby. Medical school, then my practice pretty much precluded getting good at any sports.”

“You could have fooled me. You ride like a natural.”

“You’re not doing so badly yourself for someone not used to a horse.”

They smiled at each other. “I haven’t fallen off yet, so I guess that’s progress. I have to admit, this is a nice change. My preferred mode of transport is my bicycle. In California, I hardly use a car. Now that Noah is old enough to ride with me, when he’s feeling up to it, we bike everywhere together.”

“What a great thing to do together. Did you grow up riding bikes a lot?”

Nodding, Duran remembered his childhood fondly. “Yeah, my dad got me into it. We used to spend endless hours messing around in the garage, building bikes, taking them apart, getting new components and rebuilding them. He ran sort of a neighborhood bike shop out of our garage.” He glanced over to Lia, noticing she had a distant look in her eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m boring you.”

Lia’s horse sneezed and shook all over. She bent and stroked his neck. “Almost to the pond, where you can take a rest under a shady tree,” she soothed. Slowly, she turned toward Duran, a strangely solemn look on her face. “You’re not boring me at all,” she answered softly. “I’m imagining what it must have been like growing up with parents who spent so much time with you, and thinking how lucky Noah is to have such a devoted father.”

The few things she’d said, the old pain underlying her words, made him wonder, yet hesitant to ask directly about her childhood. It might be something she wasn’t comfortable talking about with him. But curiosity got the best of him and he asked straight out, “I get the impression you aren’t that close to your parents.”

Lia laughed, but it was a brittle sound, without joy. “That would be the understatement of the century. I spent very little time with my parents. They were far too occupied messing up their lives to waste time trying to improve ours. I taught myself to ride a bike, finally, out of embarrassment at being the last kid on the block to learn, at about Noah’s age. I fell so many times, my knees still have scars. Neither of my parents had time to help me. Between work, destroying their marriage, divorce, remarriage, boyfriends and girlfriends, kids were mostly an inconvenient blip in their social schedules.”

Duran could barely conceive that kind of life, although he wasn’t naive enough to think it didn’t exist. He’d been lucky. Compared to his stable, constant, loving middle-class upbringing, her childhood sounded like a bad soap opera.

He couldn’t help but wonder how years of living with instability had affected her own sense of self, her ideas of love and commitment. Red flags immediately went up and he knew one thing for certain. He had to get to know Lia Kerrigan a lot better before allowing his son to get any closer or investing more of himself in her.

They rode along in an awkward silence for several minutes, the only sound a muffled clop of the horses’ hooves through tall grass. Ahead of them, the sound of the kids’ talking and laughing made happy music on the breeze.

When he turned to her, he found her watching him, her eyes now veiled in caution. “I’ve scared you, haven’t I? You didn’t grow up at all the way I did.”

“No, I didn’t. In fact, you’d probably call my life dull compared to yours. My parents, who were quite a bit older than is typical by the time they decided to adopt, loved me and doted on me, but I never felt spoiled, exactly. We didn’t have a lot of money, but we did have a lot of love in our house, Mom and Dad for each other and each of them for me. I guess that’s why I grew up being naive to the fact that all marriages are not so idyllic.” Unwillingly, the memory of the day Amber walked out on Noah and him reared up from the dark corner of his mind where he’d shoved it. He shook his head in remembered anger and pain. “Mine certainly wasn’t.”

“I’m sorry. I’ve never been married, but I have been through more breakups and separations, mostly because of my parents’, than I can count. It hurts every time, especially if you don’t see it coming.”

“I should have. I did, probably. I just didn’t want to see it because it didn’t fit the image in my head. It wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to me. Not to Noah. When I married, I married for life, just like my parents. For better or for worse—all that idealistic stuff.”

“And now?” Lia asked, brushing aside an errant strand of hair the light wind had blown across her cheek. “What do you believe?”

Duran watched the delicate play of her slender fingers over her smooth, flushed skin. Looking at her—strong, radiant with health and vivacity, yet soft with caring and tenderness toward him and Noah—he wanted to say he felt nothing but hope, that his beliefs were unshaken despite his ex-wife’s abandonment.