Healing The Md's Heart: Healing the MD's Heart

“No. That’s not it.”

Before she could find another reason to convince him that whatever imagined connection between them was nothing more than the heightened emotion of the circumstances, Duran slid his hand around her nape and kissed her.

She wanted it and it scared the hell out of her at the same time because of how much she wanted it. She could tell herself all day it was comfort he needed and she provided, but the feeling—too basic, too elemental—made that a lie. It was desire, although definitely not pure or simple. For long moments, she indulged it, leaning into his warmth, opening her mouth to his, taking as much as she gave because she knew it couldn’t last.

Stopping it herself would have been best. Instead, Duran abruptly ended it, letting her go and taking a step back. He looked slightly stunned, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just done. “Lia—”

“Forget it.” Unable to look him straight in the eye, she turned away. Running a hand over her hair, she was annoyed to find it trembling. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Do you really believe that?” The demand for honesty in his voice compelled her to face him.

“No,” she answered truthfully, “but I need to try. I shouldn’t—none of this is very professional of me.”

“It hasn’t been very professional between us from the beginning.”

“And that makes it okay?”

“No, it complicates the hell out of things,” he said bluntly. “But it doesn’t change the way they are.”

He was right but she didn’t want him to be; she wanted to pretend she could ignore it, dismiss it and move on. Duran and her own feelings wouldn’t let her.

Brushing her hand with his, he drew her eyes back to his. “We don’t have to figure it all out tonight. Just don’t expect me to pretend it didn’t happen.”

Lia shook her head, the only answer she could give him, and she wasn’t sure if she was agreeing or denying him. Both felt like the wrong choice.

Chapter Five

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting so long.” Lia hurried into the pediatrician’s patient room, interrupting Duran’s agitated pacing. “Overscheduling seems to be the rule these days,” she said, closing the door behind her.

The tension radiating from him was like a living thing in the room. He offered her little more than a terse nod in reply.

“Noah’s not with you?”

“Josh and Eliana offered to look after him while we talked. They’re meeting me here later,” he said tightly. “You said you’d rather talk to me alone.”

He didn’t look happy with that, but Lia knew it was better this way. “Did they bring Sammy along?” she asked, thinking Eliana’s little brother, only a year older than Noah, would have helped distract Noah from being away from his father again.

“Yeah, Noah was excited. He can’t get enough of his new family. Look, Lia, can we avoid the chitchat and get on with it? It’s been over a week and I don’t do waiting well, especially when it comes to this.”

Lia drew in a breath. She had rehearsed since the moment she’d gotten the results of his brothers’ blood tests. She had to make it clear that while there was hope, she could promise nothing at this point. And, despite the feelings, real or imagined, that had passed between Duran and her, first and foremost, she had to remain professional.

But more and more that obligation was becoming a challenge that was harder to meet. She’d deliberately avoided close contact with Duran in the past days, making sure the few times she did see him were because of Noah and always at the hospital or her office. It didn’t make it any easier to ignore the attraction between them and to pretend he’d never kissed her. She couldn’t ignore or forget, not with him ever present in her thoughts, despite her best efforts to relegate him to a safe father-of-patient status only.

He was watching her now with barely concealed impatience. Putting herself in doctor mode, she said, “I have good news.”

Duran stared at her, frozen in place, as if he were waiting for a blow and certain she was going to take her words back. “Go on.”

“Sawyer is a match for Noah.”

He said nothing, just stood there.

“It’s true, Duran,” Lia said softly. Moving close to him, she put a gentle hand on his arm. “Sawyer’s tests came back as a perfect match. There’s a very good chance he’ll be able to be a donor for Noah.”

A tremor passed over him and he swayed slightly, causing Lia to grab for the nearest chair and pull it near enough for him to collapse into it.

“I—I can’t believe…” he rasped. “All this time—and finally…” He leaned forward and dropped his head to his hands.

An ache tightened her chest and throat, threatening to become tears. All these years of fear and anguished waiting, wondering if and when he would lose his son forever. Had he ever truly let himself believe Noah had a chance for a normal life? Or had he resigned himself to the inevitable, certain that with so few close blood family members, the chance Noah would find a compatible donor in time was virtually impossible?

It wasn’t professional or even wise, but she didn’t care as she knelt beside him and put her arm around him; her instinct to comfort him was stronger than any common sense dictated.

His body shook with his effort to bank the tumult of emotions she knew he must be feeling. It touched her in a way for which she had no response except to tighten her hold, to offer him an anchor in the storm.

“It’s okay,” she murmured, stroking his hair. “You don’t always have to be strong. And you don’t always have to do it alone.”

“I told myself I had hope,” he said hoarsely. “That I believed this would happen.” He raised his head to look at her then, and his eyes were glazed with unshed tears. “When I couldn’t find a donor, though, and they told me it could be years, or never…” Leaning back in his chair, he squeezed his eyes shut, shoving his hands through his hair. “I wasn’t strong enough to believe it then.”

“Oh, Duran.” Lia touched her fingers to his face to bring his gaze to hers. “Noah has an excellent chance now. Once Sawyer knows, I’m certain he’ll more than willing to do whatever is necessary to help.”

His expression wavered, caught between desperately wanting to believe and being afraid it was all a mistake. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” she said firmly, her smile tempered by the need to be realistic with him. “But you realize this is only the first step along a long, rocky road ahead. They’ll be more tests and the transplant procedure itself, then the recovery time for Noah—none of it’s going to be short or easy.”

“But it is the first step, isn’t it? At last…Lia—” He caught her hands in his. “Thank you.”

Now it was her turn to try to contain a whirl of emotion—empathy for his years of waiting, relief that the test results opened up new possibilities, a fierce happiness knowing Duran’s faith had been renewed—so many feelings rushing her heart that if she tried to speak them it would be through tears. So she only nodded, and said quietly, “All I’ve done is arrange the testing. You’re the reason you and Noah have gotten this far.”

“You’ve done a lot more than that.” He shook his head, a dazed look in his eyes. “It’s still hard to believe that I came here looking for my father and found five brothers and now one of them is going to save Noah’s life.”

Lia ached to echo his newfound certainty, but didn’t dare. Duran needed to be positive now. His mindset would determine Noah’s attitude and that in turn would give Noah strength. But she had to keep a balance, stating the truth in careful terms, cautioning Duran, yet encouraging him in equal measure. From now on it would be a delicate line to walk, especially given the other complications of her burgeoning attraction to him and her deepening affection for his little boy.

“It’s true. Sawyer is a match and he may very well be the one to help Noah get well. But we’ve got dozens of details to work out now. You need to start by finding a transplant clinic. You may have to go out of state for that. But there is one in Albuquerque. There’s another in Dallas. I’ll be glad to liaison for you, but that decision is yours. And keep in mind, the wait time for the actual transplant could be several weeks and Noah’s recovery will be a lot longer.” She backed away and drew herself to her feet. “What I’m saying is that this is good news, but you both have a long way to go yet.”

“I know. I’ve read everything I could get my hands on for years.” Duran stood up, walked across the room over to the sink and splashed his face with cold water. He grabbed a paper towel from the holder and turned back to her. “I’ll do whatever it takes, however long it takes.”

Lia nodded, not trusting herself to speak as she tried to banish thoughts of the myriad of things that could go wrong. Duran needed to know them all, but not today. Right now, it was more important he believe in everything that could go right. “Are you ready to talk to Noah?”

“Oh, yeah,” he said, and for the first time he smiled.

In the waiting room, they found Noah and Sammy sitting happily at a children’s table playing video games and making all manner of boy sound effects. Josh and Eliana sat nearby watching them. They looked up simultaneously as Lia and Duran walked into the room.

“Dad!” Noah bounced up and ran over to them when he spotted Duran. “Sammy has that new game I was telling you about. It’s way awesome, come check it out.”

Duran swept his son into his arms and hugged him as though he would never let him go. “Sure, in a minute, okay?” he said, his voice breaking a little.

“What’s wrong?” Noah squirmed in his father’s embrace. “You’re squashing me.”

“Sorry, I guess I was.” Duran released his son, keeping his hands on his shoulders. “I missed you, that’s all. Did you have fun?”