Frank Before Vicksburg. The Gun-Boat Series

"I don't see where the laugh comes in. Perhaps some of you gentlemen think that an officer has no right to demand an apology from a superior! Then I can tell you that you are very much mistaken, for I have got the whole thing in black and white, copied from the navy regulations; and, if I was in Mr. French's place, I would make the captain take back what he said, or I would report him."

We must pause here, for a moment, to say that the result of Mr. French's interview with the captain, when the former had complained that his rank was not respected, had become known. Mr. Keys, who had overheard every word of it, and who was one of those uneasy, mischief-loving fellows who always liked to see some one in hot water, considered the joke as too good to be kept, and had told it, confidentially of course, first to this officer, then to that one, until every person on board the ship had become acquainted with the particulars; and thus far Mr. French had been compelled to bear the jokes of his messmates without any chance of obtaining redress. However, he had discovered it at last. The captain had apologized to Frank, and he must do the same by him, if he wished to keep out of trouble. He was certain that he should succeed this time, for he knew that Keys had been in the service long enough to become well acquainted with its rules and regulations, and there was such apparent truthfulness and sincerity in what he said, that Mr. French was certain of bringing the captain to terms.

"Yes, sir," repeated Keys; "if my superior officer abuses me, I shall seek redress. Because a man wears three or four stripes of gold lace around his arms, he has no right to impose upon me."

"I shall see the captain about it as soon as I have finished my dinner," said Mr. French, decidedly.

"You had better let that job out," said the caterer, who, being a very quiet, staid sort of a person, did not wish to see any disturbance. "You will remember that you got a blowing up once for not taking my advice. I have been in the navy longer than you, and you had better listen to me."

"I know that you have more experience than myself," answered French; "but that experience doesn't tell you that a captain can use me as he pleases. I have rank as well as he has. Besides, you see, I have the advantage this time."

"Yes, sir," chimed in Keys, winking at Frank, who struggled hard to suppress a laugh, "and, if you will only push the matter, you will see some fun on this ship."

Here the subject was dropped. Immediately after dinner was finished, as usual, the officers all congregated under the awning on the main-deck. Mr. French walked up and down the deck, conversing earnestly with his two friends, who, entirely ignorant of what might be the consequences of such a step, were urging him to seek an interview with the captain, to demand an apology, which would certainly be given, and would show the ship's company that they had rank, and that it must be respected.

Frank had for some time missed Keys, and was wondering what had become of him, when he discovered that individual on his hands and knees behind the pilot-house, beckoning eagerly. Frank walked toward him carelessly, so as not to attract the attention of Mr. French and his friends, and, as he came up, Keys said, in a hurried whisper:

"See here, Nelson; you know I told French that I had the rules and regulations all copied down in my order-book. Now, it has just occurred to me that he might want to see them; so I want to write something to show him. I can't get to my room without his seeing me, so I wish you would lend me your key."

Frank accordingly produced it; but his conscience reproved him when he thought in what an unpleasant position his friend was endeavoring to place Mr. French.

"Look here, Keys," said he, "I propose that you don't carry this joke any further. It will get the poor greenhorn in a bad fix."

"I can't help it," returned Keys. "I have often volunteered to give him advice, and have tried to convince him that if he ever wants to understand his business he must make use of somebody's experience besides his own. But he has always snapped me up very short. Now, if he wants to learn by experience, I'll help him all I can."

So saying, Keys crawled off on his hands and knees toward Frank's room, where he locked himself in, and the latter returned to the main-deck. About an hour afterward Keys made his appearance, walking rapidly across the deck, as if searching for something that he was in a great hurry to find, and thus attracted the attention of Mr. French and his two friends, who took him familiarly by the arm and led him forward, out of ear-shot of the other officers, who were still seated on the main-deck.

"See here, Keys," said French, "I understood you to say that you had the regulations in relation to the treatment of subordinate officers, copied in your order-book. Will you allow me to look at them?"

"Ah, yes," said Keys, "I remember. Here's something that relates to it;" and he produced his memorandum-book, and pointed to an article hastily written in lead pencil, which ran as follows:

"And be it further enacted: That, as in the maintenance of his authority over his officers on shipboard, it is rendered necessary that the commanding officer should, in all cases, treat his subordinates as gentlemen, all harsh words from a commanding officer to an officer of lower grade are hereby strictly prohibited; and in all cases where the commander is guilty of a violation of this act, the person aggrieved shall be, and is hereby, authorized to seek redress."

"There, gentlemen," exclaimed Mr. French, after he had carefully read the article, "is an act of the American Congress, which authorizes me to seek redress. All harsh words in the navy are strictly forbidden; and if the captain does not apologize for what he said to me, I'll report him."

"You will please excuse me, gentlemen, for the present," said Keys, who was finding it exceedingly difficult to control himself. "The turret must be got ready for inspection at sundown;" and, thrusting the book in his pocket, he walked rapidly below.

Mr. French immediately moved aft, and, drawing himself up very stiffly, said to the orderly:

"Tell the captain that I have business with him."

The marine disappeared, and soon returned with a request that he would walk into the cabin. The captain was seated at his table, writing; but, as the mate entered, he dropped his pen, turned in his chair, and waited for him to make known his wants[Period Missing? P2]

"Captain," began Mr. French, hesitatingly, for he scarcely knew how to commence the conversation, "I – I – I – have been reading the navy regulations, and I find that I have been abused."

"Who has abused you, sir?"

"Well, you see, sir," began the mate —

"I asked you who had been abusing you, sir," interrupted the captain. "Answer my question, and make your explanations afterward."

"Well, sir, to come to the point, you have abused me, sir."

The captain started back in surprise, and looked at the mate for several moments, as if to make sure that he was in his right mind, and then quietly asked:

"How have I abused you, sir?"

"In reprimanding me, sir. The navy regulations distinctly state that a commanding officer has no right to use harsh words to his subordinates; and I demand an apology."

"Can you furnish me with a copy of those regulations?"

"Yes, sir; Mr. Keys has them," replied the mate; and he left the cabin, and commenced searching for that individual.

We should remark that Mr. Keys was pretty well aware that he would be likely to get himself into hot water. Wishing to delay the interview between himself and the captain as long as possible, he had retreated to the hold, where he appeared to be very busily engaged; but, as soon as Mr. French made known his errand, he readily produced his book, glad indeed that he was to be let off without seeing the captain. The mate carried it into the cabin. The captain read over the article several times, and then arose from his seat, and, going to one of the after-ports, appeared to be busily engaged with his own thoughts. Mr. French stood watching him with a smile of triumph, certain that the captain had been worsted, and that he would soon receive the required apology; but, had he been a keen observer, he would have seen that the captain was convulsed with laughter, which he was vainly endeavoring to conceal. He easily saw through the trick, and it reminded him of the days when he was a midshipman, and had been implicated in similar jokes.

"Mr. French," said he, at length, "you may retire for a few moments. I will send for you presently. Orderly, tell Mr. Keys that I wish to see him."

CHAPTER IX

A Practical Joke

Mr. Keys, who began to be really afraid that the plan he had adopted for assisting his green messmate to "learn by experience" was about to rebound with redoubled force on his own head, was found by the orderly in earnest conversation with Frank, to whom he always went for advice."It's getting hot, Nelson," said he. "What shall I do? I'm in for my share of the rations this time, sure.""Make a clean breast of it," replied Frank. "You will only get yourself in trouble if you do not, for the captain knows exactly how the matter stands."The mate had already determined to make a full confession; but, nevertheless, his feelings, as he entered the cabin, were not of the most pleasant nature. His reception, however, was far different from what he had expected. The captain, as we have seen, was one of the most reasonable men in the world, if approached in the proper manner, and if he saw that an officer endeavored to do his duty, he was very patient with him; if he found that a reprimand was necessary, it was administered in the most friendly manner; but if he once took it into his head that an officer had willfully, or through negligence, omitted a portion of his duty, then, as the ship's company used to remark, it was "stand from under." Mr. Keys was a great favorite with the captain, as he was with all his brother officers, who admired his dashing style and his good-natured disposition. He was never idle, but was always hurrying about the ship, as if the well-being of every person on board depended upon himself, and, as a consequence, his duty was always done, and the deck of which he had charge was kept in the nicest order.

r. Keys, who began to be really afraid that the plan he had adopted for assisting his green messmate to "learn by experience" was about to rebound with redoubled force on his own head, was found by the orderly in earnest conversation with Frank, to whom he always went for advice.

"It's getting hot, Nelson," said he. "What shall I do? I'm in for my share of the rations this time, sure."

"Make a clean breast of it," replied Frank. "You will only get yourself in trouble if you do not, for the captain knows exactly how the matter stands."

The mate had already determined to make a full confession; but, nevertheless, his feelings, as he entered the cabin, were not of the most pleasant nature. His reception, however, was far different from what he had expected. The captain, as we have seen, was one of the most reasonable men in the world, if approached in the proper manner, and if he saw that an officer endeavored to do his duty, he was very patient with him; if he found that a reprimand was necessary, it was administered in the most friendly manner; but if he once took it into his head that an officer had willfully, or through negligence, omitted a portion of his duty, then, as the ship's company used to remark, it was "stand from under." Mr. Keys was a great favorite with the captain, as he was with all his brother officers, who admired his dashing style and his good-natured disposition. He was never idle, but was always hurrying about the ship, as if the well-being of every person on board depended upon himself, and, as a consequence, his duty was always done, and the deck of which he had charge was kept in the nicest order.

As he entered the cabin the captain greeted him with a smile. Pointing to a chair, he inquired, as he commenced turning over the leaves of the memorandum-book:

"Mr. Keys, is this some of your work?"

"Yes, sir," answered the mate.

"Well, what in the world possessed you to hoodwink Mr. French in this manner?"

"Because, sir, he has often informed me, when I have undertaken to instruct him, that he wishes to learn every thing by experience, sir. I have been assisting him."

"Do you think he has improved any with your help?"

"Yes, sir; he has learned that his authority in the mess-room is not equal to that of the caterer."

"Well, I thought you had a hand in that affair," said the captain, "and now I wish to give you a piece of advice. I, myself, have often been in such scrapes as this, and have been brought up with a round turn. This reminds me of a little incident that happened while I was a midshipman on the Colorado. The story has grown old by this time, but it will be considered a good one as long as the navy shall exist. There were eight of us in the mess, and while we were lying at the navy-yard we had nothing to do but to play tricks upon each other, and upon every one who came in our way. Our ship was commanded by a commodore who never bothered his head about us so long as we remained within bounds. As is always the case, we abused our privileges, grow's bolder by degrees, until finally the commodore taught us a lesson that we never forgot.

"One pleasant afternoon, as we were lounging about the decks, waiting for something to turn up, we saw a green-looking specimen of humanity come over the side, and, in an instant, were on the alert. He, probably, had never been on board of a man-o'-war before, for he stared with open mouth at every thing he saw. Here was a chance for us, and as soon as the officer of the deck had walked aft, out of sight, we collared the countryman, and led him back to our mess-room.