Please Don’t Take My Baby and I Miss Mummy 2-in-1 Collection

I looked at Jade, flushed from alcohol, with a stupid grin on her face and struggling to get out of her coat. Normally I would have asked a young person returning from a party if they’d had a nice time, but that wasn’t appropriate here. Jade was pregnant and had clearly had a lot to drink; she smelt strongly of alcohol and was unsteady on her feet.

‘Jade, don’t you know the harm alcohol can do to an unborn baby?’ I asked, deeply concerned. ‘Do you know the damage it can cause?’

‘Don’t start!’ Jade snapped, finally releasing one arm from her coat and swaying slightly. ‘You sound like my mum!’

‘But think about your baby,’ I said. ‘Alcohol can do permanent damage to an unborn baby, both physically and mentally. Surely you’ve seen all the warnings on television and in magazines about drinking while pregnant?’ Jade shrugged as though she didn’t care, but it was my duty to make her care and understand the harm she was doing. ‘Meryl stopped by again this evening,’ I said, hoping to shame her. ‘I dread to think what she would say if she knew you’d been drinking, after all she’s done to help you.’ But of course you can’t rationalize with someone who is under the influence of alcohol, especially a teenager who thinks she knows best.

‘Don’t know and don’t care,’ Jade said, finally getting out of her coat and throwing it on the hall stand. ‘I’m going to bed.’

She went to the foot of the stairs and, grabbing the handrail with both hands, hauled herself on to the first step and then began unsteadily up the stairs. I followed just behind her to make sure she didn’t fall. She was very unsteady, so I guessed she’d had a lot to drink, not ‘a’ drink as she’d claimed.

At the top of the stairs she hesitated, as though she’d forgotten where she was going, and then turned right and, trailing her hand along the wall to steady herself, arrived outside her bedroom door. She pushed it open, went in, and then shut the door in my face. My first reaction was to go in after her and tell her not to be so rude, but I knew that wouldn’t be the best course of action in her present state and would very likely lead to an argument. Sad and very worried, I walked away and checked on Adrian and Paula, who were both still asleep; then I returned to wait on the landing outside Jade’s room. I could hear her clumsy movements as she staggered around her bedroom, presumably trying to get changed and ready for bed. Then it went quiet and I waited some more, half expecting her to come out to use the bathroom. When she didn’t appear I knocked gently on the door. There was no reply, so I knocked again and went in.

Jade was on her side on the bed, fully clothed and fast asleep. The half-unpacked suitcases were open on the floor; also on the floor were a heap of clothes, her nightwear and the duvet. It was a real mess but that was the least of my concerns. I went to the bed, where I carefully eased off Jade’s shoes so that she would be more comfortable; she didn’t stir. Then I picked up the duvet and put it over her. She hadn’t washed or cleaned her teeth but she was in no state to do that now; so she’d have to do it in the morning. I fetched a bucket from downstairs and, returning, placed it beside her bed; then I came out, leaving the door open so that I could hear her if she woke in the night or was sick.

For the second night in a row I didn’t sleep well, as I was listening out for Jade and I was also very worried about her behaviour. Jade didn’t wake in the night and the following morning as soon as I got up I checked on her. She was still asleep. I closed her bedroom door so that Adrian, Paula and I wouldn’t disturb her, and we got ready and left for school.

When I returned shortly after 9.00 a.m. Jade was still asleep, so again I left her – to sleep off the drink from the night before. Rachel phoned fifteen minutes later, expecting to speak to Jade. I explained what had happened and finished by telling her that Jade was sleeping off the effects of her friend’s birthday party.

‘It was no one’s birthday,’ Rachel said bluntly. ‘There’s a group of them who drink together regularly. They’ve been friends since infant school and they all live close to each other on the same estate. It’s a cheap evening: they put in a couple of pounds each and that buys them plenty of alcohol from the supermarket. It’s a regular thing.’

‘But Jade’s pregnant,’ I said, horrified. ‘What about foetal alcohol syndrome? Aren’t you worried that Jade’s drinking could damage her baby?’

‘Oh yes, I’m worried all right,’ Rachel said. ‘I’ve talked to Jade about the harmful effects of heavy drinking on an unborn baby. I’ve even given her leaflets on foetal alcohol syndrome, with gruesome pictures of damaged babies, but clearly she hasn’t taken it on board. I hoped her pattern of behaviour would change once she was with you, but that doesn’t seem to be happening.’

I now felt as though it was my fault Jade had been out drinking the night before and I was to blame. ‘It’s difficult,’ I said lamely. ‘I’m trying to put in place firmer boundaries but Jade likes to go out.’

‘I know. And we’ve got the weekend coming up. Friday and Saturday nights are always worse. The kids’ parents are often out, so there are plenty of empty homes to go to with supermarket booze. In summer they go to the park with their bottles and meet up with other under-age drinkers. Perhaps you could organize a family activity, maybe an outing, to keep her away from her drinking friends? There weren’t many family outings at Jade’s house; Jackie couldn’t afford it. Jade might see it as fun.’

‘Yes, I’ll do that,’ I said. ‘We usually go out at the weekend. I’ll think of somewhere to go that will appeal to Jade as well as Adrian and Paula. Pity it’s not the summer – we could go to the coast for the day.’

‘Oh yes, and while I think of it,’ Rachel said, changing the subject, ‘don’t give Jade her pocket money all in one lot. It’ll all go on booze. She’ll want some for the weekend, so I suggest half on Saturday and the rest mid-week – on Wednesday.’

‘Yes, all right,’ I said, horrified that this precaution was necessary. At Jade’s age she was entitled to ?10 a week pocket money, which could buy three bottles of cheap wine or a bottle of spirits from a supermarket. I knew from my reading and the news on television that teenage binge drinking was a real problem, but I’d no idea it was so widespread. From the way Rachel was talking it seemed it was an issue she had to deal with on a regular basis.

‘I’ll talk to Jade again about her drinking when I see her,’ Rachel said. ‘I take it she’s in no fit state at present?’

‘No, she’s still asleep,’ I confirmed.

‘All right, leave her to sleep it off. I’m due to visit you. Could I come on Monday at eleven o’clock?’

‘Yes. That’s fine with me. I’ll make sure she’s up.’

Rachel gave a small laugh. ‘Well, at least you know where she is when she’s in bed.’

‘Yes,’ I said, unable to raise a smile. ‘See you on Monday, then. Have a good weekend.’

‘And you.’

I put the phone down and sat, glum and deep in thought, for some moments. I was very worried. Apart from the damage Jade was doing to herself and her unborn baby by drinking alcohol, I knew her behaviour was stacking up against her and wouldn’t look good when a parenting assessment was made. Although there were still some weeks to go before Jade had her baby, her behaviour would have to alter drastically if she stood any chance of being allowed to keep it. You can’t be out drinking and looking after a baby, and not for the first time I wondered if Jade had a realistic idea of what parenting a baby truly involved.

When Jade finally woke – just before lunchtime – she came straight downstairs and into the kitchen for a glass of cold water. I was unpacking the dishwasher and looked up as she entered.

‘Hello,’ I said.

Jade nodded and concentrated on filling the glass. She looked dreadful: hung over, unwashed, with tangled hair and still in the clothes she’d slept in. Cleary dehydrated from the alcohol, she drank one glass of water, refilled the glass and drank another, before she said a quiet ‘Hello, Cathy.’ I knew this wasn’t the time to give her a lecture, so for now I said simply that Rachel had phoned and she was coming to see us on Monday.

‘I don’t want breakfast yet,’ Jade said quietly, and disappeared back upstairs.

Later, after Jade had had a bath and was dressed in clean clothes, she came down with the laundry bag stuffed full of her washing and I set the washing machine going for the second time that morning. Although she was looking brighter, she said she didn’t want a fried breakfast and instead made herself a piece of toast.

Before she had a chance to disappear back up to her room I said, ‘Jade, bring your toast and tea into the sitting room, please. I want to talk to you.’

‘Do I have to?’ she whined, as a small child would.

‘Yes please. It’s important.’

Jade gave a small sigh and then followed me out of the kitchen and into the sitting room, where she sat in the chair furthest away from me. While she nibbled her toast and sipped her tea, in a non-confrontational manner I explained how worried I was for her health and safety and that of her unborn baby. I explained how binge drinking was bad for her body and the damage it was doing to her liver. ‘Last night was not a “one off”,’ I said. ‘Rachel told me you drink regularly with your friends and have been doing for some time. Jade, there are young people in their mid-twenties in hospital now who will die without a liver transplant because of their binge drinking as teenagers. And apart from the damage you’re doing to your own body, you’re doing even greater damage to your baby. Everything you eat, drink or breathe in crosses the placenta and goes into your baby. That includes alcohol and cigarette smoke.’ For although Jade had told me she didn’t smoke I thought I’d smelt smoke on her the evening before. ‘Alcohol and smoking can badly damage your baby. You want a healthy baby, don’t you?’

Jade gave a small nod. I thought she was a little more receptive to what I was saying now, although of course my warnings might all be forgotten once she left the house and met up with her friends. The more I managed to keep her at home with me, the safer she and her unborn baby would be. I continued talking to her by saying that Rachel was very concerned about her behaviour and that she needed to change it if she stood any chance of keeping her baby.

‘Why did you have to tell her I’d been drinking?’ Jade grumbled, as though I was responsible for Rachel’s warning.

‘Because as a foster carer I have a duty to keep your social worker informed,’ I said. ‘While you are in care she is legally responsible for you and I am responsible for your day-to-day care. Rachel phoned this morning while you were sleeping off the drink from last night. Of course I had to tell her – I had no choice – and she’s worried about you, just as I am.’

Jade didn’t answer, but at least she didn’t shrug off or reject what I’d said as she had done before.

‘Well, I’ve finished what I wanted to say, love,’ I said. ‘Please try and remember what I’ve told you, and make some changes to your lifestyle. You will be a mother soon and you want to give your baby the best start in life, don’t you?’

Jade nodded and ate the last of her toast.

‘Now,’ I said, smiling at her, ‘it’s Friday and the end of the week, so I was thinking we’d have a takeaway this evening. We sometimes do on a Friday as a treat. What do you fancy? Chinese, Indian, Thai, pizza?’

‘Chinese,’ she said. ‘Can Ty come?’

‘Yes,’ I said without hesitation. Anything to keep Jade happily at home with me. ‘And tomorrow, Saturday,’ I continued, ‘I was thinking we’d go out for the day. If the weather is good we could go to the castle. It’s got a new interactive section which is fun for all ages.’

‘Can Ty come?’ Jade asked again.

I hadn’t anticipated taking Tyler but there would be enough room in the car. ‘Yes, ask him if he’d like to join us.’

‘I’ll text him,’ she said, finally brightening up.

And later, just to make sure Jade didn’t disappear out that afternoon while I was collecting Paula from school, I told her I’d like her to come with me to collect Paula.

‘Oh, do I have to?’ she whined.

‘Yes please,’ I said firmly. ‘I’d like you to, and Paula will like it too.’ I had begun to realize that despite Jade’s age and the fact that she would soon be a mother she responded to the manner I would normally have used for a younger child, and I was gaining the confidence to do this.