Please Don’t Take My Baby and I Miss Mummy 2-in-1 Collection

‘I see. Well, I’m sorry but as a foster carer I can’t take a child unless the referral has come through the proper channels, and they won’t place Jade with me. I take younger children and often those with special needs or challenging behaviour.’

‘Couldn’t we have a private fostering arrangement?’ Meryl asked, clearly having done some research into the matter. ‘It’s not as though Jade is a small child. She can look after herself.’

‘I can’t become involved in a private fostering arrangement,’ I said. ‘Not while I work for a fostering agency. Also the law is clear: if someone who is not a relative of a child looks after a child who is under the age of sixteen for more than twenty-eight days, then they have to be assessed and become a registered foster carer. It’s for the child’s good. Foster carers are trained and regularly monitored.’

‘Jade’s just seventeen.’

‘I’m sorry, it doesn’t make any difference. I still can’t take her. I suggest you telephone the duty social worker now and explain the situation and that Jade has just become homeless. The social services will find her a bed for the night. At seventeen she’s still a minor, so the social services have a legal duty of care towards her. They’ll place her with a teen carer who can best take care of her needs.’

Meryl sighed and looked downcast. I felt sorry for her. She clearly wanted to help Jade and I think she really believed I could offer Jade a home, or at least a bed for the night. But it wasn’t that simple. Even if I’d been registered as a teen carer and had a spare bedroom, the referral would still have had to go through the social services who, if necessary, would pass it on to the independent fostering agencies (which are charitable trusts that came about as a result of the local authorities never having enough foster carers). As I looked at Meryl I thought how nice it was of her to be so conscientious and caring in her role as the girls’ mentor.

‘Do you know anyone else with a spare bedroom who could put Jade up for a few nights?’ Meryl asked. ‘Just until I get something else sorted out?’

‘No. I’m sorry, I don’t,’ I said. Although I knew some of my neighbours had spare bedrooms, I wasn’t going to get them involved in what could have been a difficult and embarrassing situation. I didn’t know Jade and I didn’t know those neighbours that well either. ‘All I can suggest is that you call the duty social worker,’ I said again.

‘Or perhaps I’ll give Jade my bed for tonight,’ Meryl said.

I looked at her, surprised. Clearly it was her decision to take Jade in but I wasn’t sure it was the right one professionally. Meryl was, after all, a teacher at Jade’s school and I wasn’t sure it was a good idea to blur the boundaries between teacher and pupil for either of their sakes.

‘I know I’m becoming too involved,’ Meryl suddenly said, as though reading my thoughts. ‘But you see, I can identify with Jade. I didn’t have the best start in life and when I was Jade’s age I went completely off the rails. It was a teacher at my school who helped me get my life back on track. I’ll always be grateful to her for going that extra mile for me and I’d like to do the same for Jade.’ Which explained a lot.

‘Will she keep the baby?’ I asked, mindful of the huge responsibility she’d be undertaking if she did.

‘She wants to. And I’m trying to help her keep her studies going, although she won’t be attending school for much longer.’

‘Hopefully her parents will give her some support when they get over the shock,’ I offered.

‘Maybe, but I’m not counting on it. Jade’s mother has problems of her own, and her other kids to look after. And as far as I’m aware Jade’s father isn’t around much. Anyway, I’ve taken up enough of your time,’ Meryl said, now standing and putting on her coat. ‘Thanks, and sorry to interrupt your dinner.’

‘That’s all right. I’m just sorry I couldn’t help you.’

I went with Meryl down the hall, wishing I could have done more, but as I’d explained to Meryl I couldn’t just take in any child, apart from which there were reasons I didn’t foster teenagers: they were very hard work. They often went missing and required a great deal of emotional support. I felt I had enough responsibility looking after Adrian, Paula and a foster child, as well as coming to terms with being newly divorced, and I didn’t feel I could offer support to a teenager at present.

Chapter Two (#u76d1d441-8fdb-584e-a606-3f6849c68554)

New Arrival (#u76d1d441-8fdb-584e-a606-3f6849c68554)

‘Hi. How are you? Have you enjoyed your rest?’ Jill, my support social worker from Homefinders, asked the following day.

It was mid-morning and I’d just returned from taking Adrian and Paula to school, having stopped off at the shops on my way home. I’d answered the telephone in the hall. ‘I’m fine, thanks, Jill,’ I said. ‘Very rested. Donna telephoned at the weekend and she’s doing well.’

‘Good. I’m pleased. She’s a nice kid. So you’re ready for your next placement? Raring to go?’

I smiled. ‘Yes, I am.’ For although I enjoyed a short break between fostering placements, I was always ready to welcome the next child. I foster because I want to; it’s what I do and love.

‘Great,’ Jill said. ‘How would you like a teenager who is seven months pregnant?’

I fell silent. I didn’t know how far into her pregnancy Jade was – Meryl hadn’t said – but surely this was too much of a coincidence? ‘She wouldn’t be called Jade, would she?’ I asked.

‘That’s right. The very same. I understand a teacher from her school has taken Jade under her wing and visited you last night.’

‘Yes, Meryl. I told her I couldn’t help her and she should telephone the duty social worker.’

‘She did. First thing this morning. Jade’s family is already known to the social services, and Meryl asked the family’s social worker if Jade could stay with you. She thinks you’ll take good care of her, and living in the same street she feels she’ll be able to offer some support, which may be a help or a hindrance. I’ve told the social worker that although you’re approved to foster teenagers you don’t normally do so – you’ve enough to cope with, and you certainly wouldn’t want a mother-and-baby placement.’ Jill, as always, was forthright in her manner and, as my support social worker, could be relied upon to have my best interest at heart.

‘Thank you,’ I said.

‘However,’ Jill continued, ‘Jade’s social worker is asking if you can look after Jade until they find a mother-and-baby placement: four weeks at the most. She’ll be moved before she has the baby. Jade won’t be going to school any more but they’re hoping to arrange some home tutoring. I said I’d ask you, but clearly it’s your decision, Cathy. Feel free to say no.’

‘I see,’ I said thoughtfully. ‘Just for a month?’

‘Yes.’

‘Can I think about it?’

‘Unfortunately no. They need a decision straightaway. Jade’s mother has thrown her out and Jade spent last night in Meryl’s bed while Meryl slept on the sofa. But Meryl’s husband is back tonight from a business trip and they don’t have a spare bedroom.’

‘I see,’ I said again. I felt sorry for Jade: it was bad enough to be pregnant at seventeen but to have no family support must be devastating. ‘And the social services will have found her a mother-and-baby carer before the baby is born?’

‘Yes. Absolutely.’

‘All right then, Jill,’ I said with a small flush of relief. ‘I’ll do what I can to help her. I’ll be pleased to.’

‘Great. I’ll tell Rachel, her social worker.’

‘I thought Meryl said Jade wasn’t having anything to do with the social services?’ I queried.

‘To be honest, Jade hasn’t got much choice,’ Jill said. ‘Rachel is already involved with the family and although Jade is adamant she wants to keep the baby, she’s going to have to prove she can look after it properly. Otherwise it will be taken into care.’

While this seemed harsh, it was in the best interest of the baby; babies are fragile, vulnerable little beings and if parenting goes badly wrong there is often no second chance.

‘Jade needs to start cooperating with the social services,’ Jill added. ‘She also needs their help. I think she’s starting to realize that.’

‘Good. So when do I meet Jade?’

‘I’ll phone Rachel now and tell her you’ve agreed to look after her, and then I’ll get back to you with more details. I think we’ll probably move Jade in late this afternoon or early evening. I want to be there and obviously Rachel will need to be there too. Are you in today, apart from the school run?’

‘Yes. I can be.’

‘I’ll phone you as soon as I’ve spoken to Rachel, then. Thanks, Cathy.’

‘You’re welcome.’

We said goodbye and as I replaced the receiver I felt a frisson of excitement: a new child and a new challenge. Although Jade wasn’t exactly a child, and she would only be staying with me for a short while, I would do all I could to help her. I felt sure she would benefit from some stability in her life and my TLC (tender loving care), which I prided myself on offering to all the children I looked after, and wouldn’t go amiss even with a teenager. A wiser, more experienced teen carer might have asked some appropriate questions – for example, about Jade’s boyfriend, the father of her unborn baby, and what involvement, if any, he would be having in Jade’s life. But for me at that moment, elated by the prospect of doing all I could to help Jade, such questions never crossed my mind.

Leaving the hall, I jogged up the stairs and to the spare bedroom to make some last-minute changes so that it was suitable for when Jade arrived and she felt comfortable. I didn’t think she’d mind the soft toys dotted around the room, but I removed the toy box. Then I changed the duvet cover and pillowcase, replacing the pictures of Batman with plain pale yellow. Satisfied the room was clean and welcoming, I returned downstairs. As a foster carer and an individual I try not to be judgemental, and if I thought Jade was far too young to be having a baby and that she should have been more careful I didn’t dwell on it. Who knew what past experience had brought Jade to this point in her life and self-righteous recrimination is never helpful. My role was to look after Jade and her unborn baby, which I intended to do to the best of my ability, and if she left me feeling less alone and better able to face the world then I would be delighted.

Jill telephoned again two hours later, by which time I had vacuumed the carpets, dusted the shelves, tidied the house and begun the preparation of the spaghetti bolognese for dinner. Although it was only lunchtime, I knew from experience that when a new child arrives time evaporates; I’d been caught out before by suddenly finding it was seven o’clock and no dinner was ready. Now, having been fostering for eleven years, I was better prepared. However, the only news Jill had was that she didn’t know when Jade would be arriving, as Rachel hadn’t been able to contact her. Apparently Jade wasn’t in school and Meryl didn’t know where she was.