Girl Alone: Part 3 of 3: Joss came home from school to discover her father’s suicide. Angry and hurting, she’s out of control.

At that moment the front door opened as Lucy let herself in, having returned from her friend’s sleepover. ‘Hi,’ she said, smiling. And then, seeing Joss, ‘Oh no. Not again,’ she sighed, her face clouding.

‘I’m sorry, love,’ I said. ‘Joss is upset and her mother is in the living room.’ Joss’s bedroom door slammed shut overhead.

‘We’ll catch up later,’ Lucy said. I would normally have spent time with her hearing about the sleepover. ‘I’ll unpack. Do you want me to look in on Joss?’

‘Yes, please. Thank you, love,’ I said gratefully.

As Lucy went upstairs I returned to the living room, thankful I had such an understanding family.

‘See what I mean?’ Linda said. ‘Joss loves a good scene.’

‘But I can understand why she’s upset,’ I said, sitting on the sofa. ‘The last time she saw you, you were sympathetic and supportive, and now you and Eric are accusing her of lying.’

‘Well, she is,’ Linda persisted. ‘And she’s angry with me because I’ve seen through her lies.’

I still wasn’t convinced. ‘You may be right,’ I said despondently. ‘But until the police prove differently I think we need to believe Joss. Can you imagine what it would do to her if she is telling the truth, and she’s had the courage to report the attack, and we didn’t believe her?’

This wasn’t what Linda wanted to hear. ‘Well, that’s up to you,’ she said tartly. ‘But I agree with Eric, and tomorrow we’re going to phone the social worker and the police and tell them the truth.’

‘But we don’t know what the truth is,’ I said. ‘There’s no real evidence to say Joss has made it all up.’

‘There’s no evidence to say she hasn’t,’ Linda said. ‘But when the police start investigating, Joss’s story won’t stack up.’

I didn’t want to antagonize her by disagreeing further, so I chose my words carefully. ‘I’ve been fostering for a long time and in my experience children usually tell the truth. I know some do make up allegations, but the majority do not. So until there is firm evidence to the contrary, I have to believe Joss and support her as best I can.’

‘That’s up to you,’ she said, and stood ready to leave.

‘If you stay a while longer, I could try to persuade Joss to come down and we could all talk about it,’ I said.

‘I don’t think that will help,’ Linda replied tersely, and she took a step towards the living-room door. ‘And to be honest, Cathy, I’ve had enough of all this. Joss and her lies. I’m exhausted and sick of it all.’

She went down the hall and pulled her coat from the stand. ‘Tell Joss I said goodbye,’ she said. ‘And for all our sakes, try to persuade her to tell the truth.’

I opened the front door and we said an awkward goodbye. The rain had stopped now, but the sky was inky black, suggesting that another downpour wasn’t far away. I closed the door. My heart was heavy and my thoughts were in chaos. While I could appreciate what Linda had said about Joss lying in the past and her theatrical outbursts, I couldn’t make the huge leap that she and Eric had to decide Joss was lying about this.

Chapter Nineteen

Alone (#u60316be2-a3e5-5c2c-b39c-4cd2e6f48d77)

I went up to Joss’s room, where Lucy and Joss were sitting side by side on the bed.

‘Her mother called her a liar!’ Lucy exclaimed indignantly, taking up the fight for Joss. ‘Can you believe it? How mean is that? Your own mother calling you a liar!’

I looked at Joss. ‘How are you?’

‘OK,’ she said quietly, her anger largely gone.

‘If I told you something like that,’ Lucy continued, ‘you’d believe me, wouldn’t you?’

I nodded but didn’t say anything. Lucy meant well, but I didn’t think criticizing Joss’s mother was going to help. She was, after all, her mother, and Lucy seemed to have forgotten how loyal she was to her own birth mother despite all her failings.

‘Your mum is very upset right now,’ I said to Joss. ‘She’s also exhausted. When she’s had time to think clearly I’m sure she’ll feel differently.’

‘Not if he has anything to do with it,’ Joss said, her anger flashing again.

‘Her stepfather sounds horrible,’ Lucy commiserated. ‘Pity your mother ever married him.’

‘It was,’ Joss agreed.

‘Perhaps they’ll get divorced,’ Lucy suggested.

‘I doubt it,’ Joss said.

I could see that the girls were comfortable talking together and Joss didn’t really need my input right now. Sometimes a similar-aged young person can offer the empathy and words of understanding that an older adult cannot.

‘If you two are all right, I’ll go downstairs.’

‘Sure,’ Joss said easily.

‘We’ll be fine,’ Lucy said.

‘And you had a good time at your friend’s?’ I asked Lucy.

‘Yeah, great.’

I left them and went down to the kitchen. As I worked it crossed my mind that perhaps I should telephone Homefinders’ out-of-hours service to report and discuss what Linda had said, but Jill wouldn’t be on duty. Although I could have talked to another member of the Homefinders team, it wasn’t an emergency so I decided to wait until the following day, Monday, when Jill would be at work again. Jill knew Joss and I greatly valued her opinion. It was at times like these that I very much missed the support and views of a partner. Couples who foster can support each other and discuss their worries and concerns, but as a single carer I bore it all. I was deeply troubled by Linda’s abrupt turnaround and that she had withdrawn her support for her daughter. It had only been a matter of hours since she’d sat on my sofa and, believing Joss to have been viciously attacked, had broken down. Then, as a result of listening to Eric, she’d completely changed her mind and now thought her daughter was lying. But then again, I supposed Eric wouldn’t have suggested Joss was lying unless he had genuinely believed it. What a mess.

About half an hour later I heard the girls’ voices on the landing and I went up to make sure they were all right. They’d changed rooms, and Joss was now sitting on Lucy’s bed while Lucy unpacked her overnight bag. She could have stayed for a week for all the clothes she’d taken to her friend’s, most of which were now being consigned for the laundry, despite just needing an iron.

‘Are you OK?’ I asked Joss. She seemed to be.

She nodded and managed a small smile. So, reminding them again that I was downstairs if they needed me, I left them to it.

John brought Adrian and Paula home shortly after five o’clock and they said goodbye at the door. They’d been to the cinema. Everyone did their own thing until dinner was ready, and then I called them to the table. Although Joss had confided to Lucy what had happened, she hadn’t told Adrian or Paula, so the conversation over dinner was reasonably light-hearted and general, which wasn’t a bad thing. Joss would obviously be suffering inside, but she was coping with it in her own way, and I didn’t think she needed glum faces and endless sympathy. When we’d finished eating Paula suggested a game of Monopoly, as we were all home, and everyone liked the idea. We hastily cleared away the dishes and dumped them in the sink, and then set up the Monopoly board on the table.

The competition is always fierce when we play Monopoly – we play to win; even Paula and me, who aren’t normally competitive. There’s just something about that game! It wasn’t long before our voices had risen in excitement and good-humoured arguments had broken out over ownership deals and land development. I seemed to spend a lot of time in jail while Adrian was busy acquiring older sites. Paula’s pile of money grew from developing Park Lane and Mayfair; Lucy reaped a steady return from the utilities, and Joss from owning Regent Street to Bond Street. We had a break at nine o’clock and I made some snacks and poured us some lemonade. The game resumed and the excitement grew as fortunes were made and lost. Although I was tired from lack of sleep the night before, it was put on hold until we finally finished the game at 10.30, with Adrian the outright winner.

‘Good game,’ I said, as Lucy gave him an affectionate slap on the arm.

‘He always wins,’ Paula told Joss.

‘It’s luck,’ Joss joked.

‘In your dreams. It’s skill,’ Adrian quipped back.

The atmosphere was good.

‘Can we start taking turns in the bathroom,’ I said. ‘And I need a volunteer to help me pack away the game.’