Happy Adults

I’m sorry, Mary, I won’t be able to look after your children on Saturday as John and I are decorating the living room.

Bob, could you give Susie that report to type, please? I’m up to my eyes in it at present. Thanks.

If you find that in your role at home or work your stress levels are continually rising as you run to stand still, then you are over-committed and you need to have a discussion with your boss or partner. If you soldier on without saying anything others will assume you are coping. Positive people recognize their limitations and can say no.

7. Be body positive. I say more about this in Chapter Eight. But it is worth noting here that when you are thinking and acting more positively your body language should reflect this so that you present your new improved self to the world. So often our bodies get left behind after radical change: the body carries on as it used to, as it has been doing for years. Dieters who lose a lot of weight, for instance, often need lessons in deportment, to be shown how to walk gracefully. Their new, lighter, sylph-like figures are still lumbering along as they did before when they carried all the extra weight.

Stand upright, look people in the eye and walk with a lighter, slightly faster step. The message you will give out is that you are confidently ready to meet and greet life and all it has to offer. Others will subconsciously receive your positive body signals and treat you accordingly.

CHAPTER FIVE

Develop a Positive Philosophy

We all have a philosophy – a system of beliefs that guide our behaviour – although we might not realize it. As humans we are programmed to make sense of what we see, from the moment we look up from our cribs and focus on the world around us. From then on we begin to develop a philosophy to make sense of the world and our existence in it.

The word philosophy in its academic sense means the study of knowledge, reality and existence. Western philosophy dates back over 2,500 years. During our time at school most of us will have heard of the ancient Greek philosophers – Plato, Socrates, Aristotle – and the more recent philosophers – Francis Bacon, Marx and Ghandi. Philosophers develop a way of thinking and looking at the world they hope will answer age-old questions such as What is good? Do we have free will? Does God exist? What is truth? Where does infinity end? What is evil? As individuals we contemplate these questions too and develop our personal philosophy to answer them.

While our philosophy reflects what we think about the world and our place in it, in practice, in our everyday lives, it is not a written tangible formula but the attitude with which we live our lives. Our philosophy is our outlook on life, shown in the way we deal with situations (past and present, negative and positive), view the future and make decisions. And if we are to be happy and contented and live life to the full, our philosophy needs to be positive.