Sherry Cracker Gets Normal

Sherry Cracker Gets Normal
D. J. Connell

Is the meaning of life to find the meaning of life?Meet Sherry Cracker: loner, obsessive note-taker and lover of tartan trousers. She works for thrifty, straight-talking Mr. Chin who runs a business buying used gold from dentists. One Friday afternoon, Mr. Chin informs Sherry that she’s abnormal. He then uncharacteristically gives her £100 and a weekend in which to ‘crack the normality nut’.But something is going on in the town where unemployment is high and the streets bristle with CCTV cameras. The corrupt council has cut budgets and the library has been closed. Mysterious graffiti is appearing everywhere. People are disgruntled and restless. Sherry is joined on her quest by a runaway known as the ‘Little Bastard’ and Jocelyn de Foiegras, gentleman alcoholic, and his Chihuahua, Herb Alpert. Through their friendship she learns that she’s looking for normality in all the wrong places and uncovers a plot which threatens her future with Mr Chin.An outsider, Sherry sees life in post-industrial Britain through the eyes of an innocent and records her findings in her trusty OBSERVATIONS folder. Her journey of discovery is both hilarious and poignant, one that takes you to the heart of ‘normal’ British life.Packed to the gills with quirky characters and comical twist and turns, SHERRY CRACKER GETS NORMAL will make you fall in love with Sherry and have you pondering the meaning of life one moment and laughing uproariously the next.

D.J. Connell

Sherry Cracker Gets Normal

To my funny, remarkable mother Marion and her accomplice,

my excellent sister Jocelyn.

Contents

1

I can now safely say that nothing in life is…

2

I must have had expectations because I was disappointed when…

3

I have seen the man in the fuchsia trench coat…

4

The idea of normality was flashing in my mind’s eye…

5

Someone had been busy while I was in the café.

6

Saturday afternoon began in a damp way with light drizzle…

7

‘Nigel!’ I said, turning. ‘I didn’t expect to see you…

8

The scene I had witnessed replayed over in my mind…

9

‘Your future lies in my hands,’ called the woman from…

10

I stopped under the streetlamp at the corner and looked…

11

I awoke with a start, my heart racing. My eyes…

12

‘Old golfers never die. They just lose their drive,’ read…

13

Roger Bottle did not notice me walk up to his…

14

The bus was moving off when a familiar shade of…

15

Jocelyn stopped outside the door of the Mandarin restaurant and…

16

Nigel nudged me as the number two bus approached the…

17

I circled the pole several times and came to the…

18

As the bus reached the centre of town, I pushed…

19

I felt strangely invigorated as I strode away from the…

20

I looked around but saw no sign of the Dutty.

21

I put my ear to the door and heard a…

22