50 Ways to F**k the Planet

50 Ways to F**k the Planet
David Glick

Mark Townsend

In a world where we're bombarded with advice on going green, authors Mark Townsend and David Glick take a refreshing line and tell us how NOT to go green. Indeed, they're here to help us f**k up the planet good and proper. And it's easier than you think.An irreverent celebration of environmental doom and gloom, 50 Ways to F**k the Planet takes the 'eco-handbook' in an outrageous new direction, exposing fifty very real and very scary threats facing the world today and showing just how entertaining and easy it is for us to make them worse.Forget the future. Why expend our energy on a lost cause? This is the defeatist (but not altogether unrealistic) stance taken by Townsend and Glick as they revel in the dire fate of our planet. Combining bleak facts with hilariously ironic commentary, the authors applaud our environmental incompetence and stick two fingers up at the whole damn thing. Punctuated with checklists and handy hints to f**k things up faster, this book is for those who want to stop pretending they are responsible world citizens and just get with the party. How much you get involved is up to you, but don't be fooled into thinking that doing nothing is any better.From the familiar honeybee, whose dwindling numbers have huge repercussions on our food chain, to the environmental implications of the smoking ban, the topics cover endangered species and declining terrain as well as social (mis)conduct and the devastating effects of commerce. Outspoken and unabashedly brazen, this is your ultimate countdown to the end of the world.

50 Ways to F**k the Planet

Mark Townsend & David Glick

50 Ways to F**k the Planet (#ulink_f640fd96-b79d-5ad6-8e57-029f16b4c27d)

‘Forget carbon footprints or ozone layers. The dangerously high level of sarcasm contained in this book could destroy the planet singlehandedly…’

ZOE BALL & NORMAN COOK

‘A fresh approach to serious issues, this is one book about environmental issues that people should read.’

DAVID DE ROTHSCHILD, ADVENTURER AND ENVIRONMENTALIST

‘I wholeheartedly support this book. It’s a clever way to get people thinking about our future’.

HARVEY GOLDSMITH CBE

‘A book launch that I actually want to do the cooking for.’

GEORGIO LOCATELLI, CHEF

‘What a great, irreverent approach to this hugely challenging issue.’

ALEXANDER MCQUEEN CBE

‘What a refreshing read. A really amusing book with green credentials that doesn’t preach. Hallelujah!’

PETE TONG, DJ

The statements, comments or opinions expressed by the authors of this book are entirely their own. Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of information but it cannot be guaranteed. Neither the authors nor the publishers can be held responsible for the actions of any individuals, or groups, believed to be misusing the content of this book.

Table of Contents

Cover Page (#ucaf52817-d6fc-540e-9218-d54f94065657)

Title Page (#uab07b0bd-93d0-52f6-9557-b5ac66e691a3)

Dedication (#u958d6883-1a9d-5160-b891-36160772f2a6)

Introduction (#u7b2c3749-a31e-515d-9646-0a8920e73005)

Tested on Animals (#udccad349-d75a-5323-819e-25cf88871a2f)

1 To bee or not to bee (#u412c3c3a-d98f-5c61-960c-7eca260cd0e8)

2 A hard halibut to break (#u7d78a0b9-d9fb-5ad4-8e79-52f11c7635de)

3 Space invaders (#u928fcac0-abac-5e86-9cf8-b7d53480155f)

4 Chemical reaction (#u351359f4-b6d6-5d83-834d-674e0e1aa495)

5 Tusk, tusk (#u0d943886-5141-5af9-b887-e40a36f55718)

6 The krilling fields (#ub2be8706-9cba-586d-8409-47e23773afd1)

7 Seed the world (#u044596e4-ab40-51e2-a327-c3c82a9b8332)

8 Blow me (#u0564cb0c-1847-56bf-b6f8-c8543a8b3a0f)

9 Erode to hell (#u74f6f7ab-8aa2-5807-9cb7-d045b58584ad)

10 Seal you later (#u2bfec172-988b-5f40-9e10-7324b1c83cf6)

11 A whale tragedy (#ue1a90483-11c8-56dd-8090-20d32c9a2845)

12 Water shame (#ua8687cde-c13b-5de6-8cc9-66403a21c19c)

13 One helluva fungi (#litres_trial_promo)

14 Going ape (#litres_trial_promo)

The Ends of the Earth (#litres_trial_promo)

15 Spruced up (#litres_trial_promo)

16 Con with the wind (#litres_trial_promo)

17 Bottom trawling (#litres_trial_promo)

18 Palm feeder (#litres_trial_promo)

19 Eau naturel (#litres_trial_promo)

20 Not soya good (#litres_trial_promo)

21 Sea of change (#litres_trial_promo)

22 Arrested development (#litres_trial_promo)

23 Green light (#litres_trial_promo)

24 Radiating fury (#litres_trial_promo)