Gangsta Granny
David Walliams
A hilarious and moving story of old age, adventure, stolen jewels and swimming the Thames, from David Walliams, number one bestseller and fastest growing children’s author in the country.“I absolutely love David Walliams's books. In a few more years they will become classics.” – Sue Townsend, author of Adrian MoleOur hero Ben is bored beyond belief after he is made to stay at his grandma’s house. She’s the boringest grandma ever: all she wants to do is to play Scrabble, and eat cabbage soup. But there are two things Ben doesn’t know about his grandma.1) She was once an international jewel thief.2) All her life, she has been plotting to steal the Crown Jewels, and now she needs Ben’s help…
Dedication (#ulink_00865d08-24a9-5f55-9680-7b3bc1d4fe1a)
For Philip Onyango… …the bravest little boy I have ever met.
Contents
Cover (#u7047466a-9f6b-5029-856d-cc739c3d4b67)
Title Page (#u2f2897b1-c858-5ebb-863d-1958b9071938)
Dedication
Chapter 1 - Cabbagy Water
Chapter 2 - A Duck Quacking
Chapter 3 - Plumbing Weekly
Chapter 4 - Mystery and Wonder
Chapter 5 - A Little Broken
Chapter 6 - Cold Wet Egg
Chapter 7 - Bags of Manure
Chapter 8 - A Small Wig in a Jar
Chapter 9 - The Black Cat
Chapter 10 - Everything
Chapter 11 - Cheesy Beans and Sausage
Chapter 12 - The Love Bomb
Chapter 13 - A Lifetime of Crime
Chapter 14 - Nosy Neighbour
Chapter 15 - Reckless and Thrilling
Chapter 16 - ‘N’ ‘O’ Spells ‘NO’
Chapter 17 - Planning the Heist
Chapter 18 - Visiting Hours
Chapter 19 - A Small Explosive Device
Chapter 20 - Boom Boom Boom
Chapter 21 - A Tap-Shoe
Chapter 22 - Lycra Lynch Mob
Chapter 23 - Caught by the Fuzz
Chapter 24 - Dark Waters
Chapter 25 - Haunted by Ghosts
Chapter 26 - A Figure in the Dark
Chapter 27 - An Audience with the Queen
Chapter 28 - Hung, Drawn and Quartered
Chapter 29 - Armed Police
Chapter 30 - A Packet of Sugar
Chapter 31 - Golden Light
Chapter 32 - A Family Sandwich
Chapter 33 - Silence
Chapter 34 - Zimmer Frame
Postscript
Previously by David Walliams:
Copyright
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Thank yous:
I would like to thank a few people who helped me with this book.
First, the hugely talented Tony Ross for his magical illustrations. Next, Ann-Janine Murtagh, the brilliant head of children’s books at HarperCollins. Nick Lake, my hard-working editor and friend. The fantastic designers James Stevens and Elorine Grant, who worked on the cover and text respectively. The meticulous copy editor Lizzie Ryley. Samantha White, for her brilliant work publicising my books. The lovely Tanya Brennand-Roper who produces the audio versions. And of course my very supportive literary agent Paul Stevens at Independent.
Most of all I would like to thank you kids for reading my books. I am genuinely humbled that you come and meet me at signings, write me letters or send me drawings. I really love telling you stories. I do hope I can dream up some more. Keep reading, it’s good for you!