A Pickle for the Knowing Ones

    TIMOTHY DEXTER

I ask for giveness of the world of mankind for teling the trouth I meane No hurt to A flie only when he bits me then I kils the flye if I can I have bin my one tromter fore teene years my tromter is Dead my haveing so many wounds in fas and on my head I Doue it to make a good Lafe to keep my sperets from sinking pittey me all good peopel A men and fourder I maried widder frothingham shee had fore Children the holl of all there stats was short of thirteene houndred Dolors this woman groed mad shee sade shee must goue to hell goue ferting for I have fined A ganst the holey goast un pardinbell sin shee was for making way with hur selfe in three monts I got the best minister in town to Lay the gost he prayed hartey but Could Not Laye the serpent only in part shee has bin Cracey Every sence it is A wonder I am A Live two children suked hur brest – it is heretarey two Children maried now Live upon me being disorded thay beat me offen with Death Cloube & the old gost toue bad to say I be silent under serkoumstanes I mus Cout & Roum sell the one of the first plases all most in the world for I am in grat fear of my Life being taken A way such blows I have had from toue or three gost in my familey is worth twelve hundred hoxets of geamator best shougers Even A saxton to take the blows I wodent for fifty milon Dollors words cant Express the bloddey war in my familey three gosts all Noys Robing of me I must sell with tears in my Eys I Cant see to Rite Aany more fare well I say good bye

    T DEXTER

How Did Dexter make his money Inw ye says bying whale bone for stain for ships in grosing three houndred & 40 tuns bort all in boston salum and all in Noue york under Cover oppenly told them for my ships thay all Lafed so I had at my one prise I had four Couning men for Rouners thay souned the horne as I told them to Act the fool I was foull of Cash I had Nine tun of silver on hand at that time all that time the Creaters more or Less Lafing it spread very fast heare is the Rub in fifty Days thay smelt A Rat found whare it was gone to Nouebry Port speklaters swarmed Like hell houns to be short with it I made seventey five per sent one tun and halfe of silver and over one more spect Drole A Nouf I Dreamed of warming pans three Nits that thay would doue in the west ingas I got not more than fortey two thousand put them in Nine vessele for difrent ports that tuck good hold – I cleared sevinty nine per sent – the pans thay mad yous of them for Coucking very good master for Coukey blessed good in Deade missey got Nise handed Now bourn my fase the best thing I Ever see in borne days I found I was very luckkey in spekkelasion I Dreamed that the good book was Run Down in this Countrey Nine years gone so Low az halfe prise and Dull at that the bibbel I means I had the Readey Cash by holl sale I bort twelve per sent under halfe prise thay Cost forty one sents Each bibels twenty one thousand I put them into twenty one vessels for the westinges and sent A text that all of them must have one bibel in Every familey or if not thay would goue to hell and if thay had Dun wiked flie to the bibel and on thare Neas and kiss the bibel three times and Look up to heaven Annest for giveness my Capttens all had Compleat orders heare Coms the good Luck I made one hundred per sent & Littel over then I found I had made money A Nuf I hant speck A Lated sence old times by goverment secourties I made or cleared forty seven thousands Dolors that is the old A fare Now I toald the all the sekrett Now be still Let me A Lone Dont wonder Now more houe I got my money boaz

    T DEXTER

Now to all onnest men to pittey me that I have bin in hell: 35 years in this world with the gost A woman I maried and have two Children Now Liveing Abram bishup mared my Dafter sence the troubel is such that words Cant be Exprexed Nine years disorded for a tun of silver for three months I could Not have the gost in my pallas sleep Not have to be had Now to save my Life I will sell if Not I will Let the house it is as Notted as Any hous in the oile shouls and furder in the world or sence Noers Arke & sence the floud taking in my self finly such A plase No whare in the world all gous with it hoses chareags all but plate & gouels A Reserve the holey bybel and one bouck more my old head has wore out three boddeys it would take a journey of Docters one our to find and Count the scars on my head given by the goust & others Amen

Joune 12- 1805 Clean trouth

    T DEXTER

I say the grate mister Divel that has so maney Nick Names a frind to the preasts Now is dead all and the pope Likewise and the founders of mesonic A Cheat foull of war and gratness of hell Dead preasts Dead and Lawyers Damede Deade A braham b bi Ass Dead and All the frinds of mankind sings prasses that wee are the grat familey of mankind Now out of hell Deleured from fire and smoak bourning for Ever Now all in heaven uppon Earth Now all frinds Now for A Day of Regoising all over the world as one grate familey all Nasions to be ounited No more wars for fifty years and Longer I Recommend pease A Congress in france and when wee are Ripe for A Emper in this Contrey Call for me to take the helm or a Consler in the Afare of trouth Amen and Amen

    TIMOTHY DEXTER

P S – one thing further I happened not to think of that grate Creature which some fools Call the Goast and others say that he is wanted – But I thing that it will be of searvice to let the Thanttron Dye

    T DEXTER

Scarting trouths fortey six years gone old french war to git men and Lads to List the prests told them thay would Live as Long as if thay staed at home for Every boulitt had its Commison from the Lord he directed them one time when old good mister Emmerson had A gurnemon to preach I heard him say for Addom sin there was Now in hell milons of milons of Children Not more than A span Long all this is troue and when there was a A Drouth most over thay would Call A fast and pray very Annest for the bottels of heaven to be on Corked so the Rane mit Com Down the minester did Not say how Larg thay whare I gess they held five hundred hoxetts Each

1805 may 27

    TIMOTHY DEXTER

Trouth I afirme I am so much of A foule the Rougs want to git my Jouels & Loavs & Littel fishes without my Leave Leave is Lit thay all Caled me A foull forty years Now I will Call all fouls but onnes men Now to brove me A foull I Never Could sing Nor play Cards Nor Dance Nor tell A Long storey Nor play on Any mouskel Nor pray Nor make A pen when I was young I Could play on A Jous harp it would mak my mouth warter and the Ladeys sumthing warter gess what I sade Nothing A good Lafe is beter than Crying A Clam will Cry And warter wen thay are out of there Ellemen so wee the same if I had Not the gost in my house I would I mean give Lite to my brothers & sisters and have A pease all over the world and beat the trouthe into my frinds houe goud it is houe onnest it would be and houe man kind has bin in posed upon & houe thay have bin blinded with untrouths gosts and mister Divels there is Now None of that order all Lye the mesonek if thay wilt make a book of trouth I will give the Creaters but I will take the Chare and put my frind bonne partey on my Rte hand And the grat ginrel meroue on my Left hand A Nuf to give the sword is in the banks A Emper only be still I will take the helm in Love I am A quaker No blod spiled all in the Love of A Emper you will have in fortey years I may Com back & see houe you all goue on & what you ware when the gost is gone and mister Divel pease on Earth be fore I will have a war in my Day I will be your frind the Emper and if I want help I will Call my frind boneypartey and gorge the third & Dewide the Lose Now take Care peas I say Except of what is Rewealed to me for it will Com to pass I was born when grat powers Rouled I was borne in 1747 Janeuarey 22 on this day in the morning A grat snow storme the sines in the seventh house wives mars Came fored Joupeter stud by houlding the Candel I was to be one grat man mars got the beth to be onnest man to Doue good to my felow mortelz I think I am A quaker but I have so Littel sense I Cant Deseave I Can swep my hous & git all A Noue gelt & goue out of hell is bless Law and trouth and Reason on my side it must be done when I git my worthy widdow it is Dun Not one word of Anger as Long as I Live to a A good woman I a firme

    TIMOTHY DEXTER

fourder I Dont have Aney of the Ladeys of prinsbell spend the Intress I will spend Day and Nite All I have and Doue all the good to please I can make as much heaven upon Earth as posbel and then Dye in peas A men and Amen for A Companon I must have to make out this heaven then I am happy the goue in the dark in pease when the Candel gous out in the – Lord god of Nater one more A men good bye

    T DEXTER

forder A grate good man Came to see me Not Long sence I told sade man I had many Innemys he says be Cos you are toue onnest to be beloved you Dont gine in Comon ways with Rougs bibel making mesonik order to promes to pay & Never pay only with A Lye and gine heell on Earth Cheat all you Can gine the mob then you are A brother Now I am glad I did Not Nock the Doer Down my good Louck my god and my god blessed be my good Luch

    T DEXTER

sum more sweet meats & trouths I say Now man sence Noers Ark Dare to Rite of so Littel Laning I begon when abrham was in my hous I then Rote this world was hell & men was Divels sum better then others sum white Divels sum black & sum Copper Divels I for got them bloue Divels this spred far was printed in many papers a bishop Cosed my blood to bile thirteene years last March as when I begun to Rite I sade the grat Rougs was the best men o o for shame the onnest man was Lafed at & a b being foull of Larning it maks him mad to be a Lousefer his Rane is short I hope to see my father the grat felosfer the presedent before I die the trouth he must know a men

    T DEXTER

I Crys Crys Lik a babey when I Rits my trobel is so grat to have my Dafter so Crasey the Rick of our Lives such blows with such weapons of a sudden & strike such brouses is worth thirty millon of Dolors for a pouer man to have and others o brous me thay wont my Life to git my money & so I must seel & be a sitteson of the world it is a wonder I am a Live the burds will Chip offen before I Can git to sleep the Noys is so grate all hell No more a b bishups he wants to be Deatey Let sade beast goue once & twise act so Now toue much Laning make Rougs and fouls in the Eand Dig a Dich & fall in to it white Rop or a hare Rop taks them in time

    trouth

This is revealed to me how the world was made with what stuff it was made with is the question Now I tell the with paper pen and ink and type the Anemels to be the founders of it with a Lye & Lyes upon Lyes wose then beasts or Snaks or wouls or bars tigers Divils and ten times wose with all Lyes untrouths the world allways was and is Look out for trouth a men I

    TIMOTHY DEXTER

fourder in six Days and verey good and harde Laber I Cant gitt my monement Dun in sixty Days and work hard very hard & sweet it was for want of maney hands I had No hiram Nor Solomon only my selfe

    T DEXTER

World makers mankind with marbel and parchment and paper pen & ink and printers tips and Lyes upon Lyes amen and amen the world was made in six Days out of Nothing o yess o lye Now all troue Lye yess all the world over

    TIMOTHY DEXTER

APPENDIX

IN HONOR OF TIMOTHY DEXTER, ESQ

This great philosopher may indeed be styled a phenomenon in nature! The many literary qualifications he possesses rank him foremost among literary characters. – That unequalled production from the pen of this wonderful philosopher, denominated "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones," has not only received universal applause, and been ranked as of the first magnitude in the literary world, but has had such rapidity in its sale, that a copy cannot be procured, though diligently sought after by men of the most transcendant merit.

Where can we find a man so extensively useful, and so eminently calculated to diffuse light to a dark and ignorant multitude, as this rare philosopher? How penetrating his understanding! How deep his ideas! What a multitude of discoveries which before were hid in embryo, have made their appearance at the nod of his genius! Surely we may say, Blessed are the people who are highly favored with the greatest Luminary that ever gave light to an existing world!!

While aiming at a just portrait of this remarkable Naturalist and Philosopher, his generosity is no less a subject of admiration, than his literary and philosophical abilities. The readiness with which his benevolent soul bestows donations calls forth the grateful acknowledgement of all who have been liberally assisted from his bountiful hand.

See him the first to assist in building a church for the worship of God! See him liberally give for the purchase of bells, the ready cash, without hesitation! See him expending his fortune to preserve in everlasting romembrance, characters who have shone with unexampled greatness in Europe and America! Here the subject fails. Vain man may as well attempt to stop the course of nature, as to do ample justice to this wonderful man!

Behold all nature stands aghast
To hear thy fame from east to west!
How great how grand of thee we hear,
Thou man of sense – thou eastern star!

All men inquire – but few can tell
How thou in science doth excel!
Great philosophic genius, we,
The meanest reptiles, bow the knee.

At thy majestic shrine we shrink!
What can we do, or say, or think!
When contemplating on thy worth.
Which hath astonish'd all the earth.

Great DEXTER, did the world do right,
Thy name would shine with brilliant light!
Each would declare thy wond'rous fame,
And shout at DEXTER'S mighty name!

    Salem, June 14, 1805
My Lord Dexter,

By the politeness of Mr. Emerson I received the very valuable contents of your package. A new edition of that unprecedented performance, entitled "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones," &c. is very urgently called for by the friends of literature in this country and in England – and I presume with the additions and improvements intended to accompany the second edition, provided it should be well printed, would entitle the author to a seat with the Disciples of Sir Joseph Banks, if not to a place in Bonaparte's Legion of Honor – for my Lord DEXTER is an honorable man. But, sir, the work cannot be executed for the sum named – nor in the time specified. – I will print an edition of 500 copies with the additions, for fifty dollars, and cannot possibly do them for less.