Beyond the Storm

‘Well, now you’re asking! That’s not a question for poor Kaethe, but for God. And it’s not something a little girl like you needs to worry about.’

‘But I do worry about it! Sometimes I think how easily I could have been Laura or Sara, or a Hottentot living in the desert or an Eskimo girl in an igloo, or even … a … a boy!’ Kaethe stops walking and puts an arm around Anna’s shoulders.

‘Oh my goodness! Oh dear me, a Hottentot? I think I like you just the way you are, Liebchen – and Mamma and Papa don’t want a different little girl, they want you! Just be happy with who you are. There’s no need to brood so much.’

Anna sighs. If only Kaethe would understand that it’s not that she wants to be a different person, it’s just that these questions are troubling. However, in the family, such a quest for answers is regarded as self-absorption, which is not to be encouraged. Despite these concerns, in the main Anna’s childhood is as her parents would wish: contented and cheerful.

Over time her life begins to change, gradually at first, almost imperceptibly, but then with increasing momentum. Every day, her best friend Laura calls at Mariahilferstrasse, and they walk to school together giggling and whispering. One morning, when Anna is fifteen, Laura does not ring the bell. What can have happened? Anna worries that perhaps Laura is unwell. She is reluctant to leave without her. But it is already late, and Kaethe shoos her out of the apartment with her school bag and her morning snack. Anna walks alone to school. She drags her feet; walking on her own is no fun. In front of the school, clusters of pupils are talking together. There is Laura in the midst of a group of girls. She glances at Anna self-consciously. Anna smiles and waves at her friend.

‘Laura, what happened? Did you forget this morning?’

Laura looks uncomfortable. She looks round at her friends and back to Anna. Then she purses her lips and pulls herself upright.

‘Mutti says we don’t mix with Jews.’ She turns her back on Anna. The other girls snigger and turn away too.

Many of the girls join National Socialist youth groups. They troop off on hiking and camping trips in the Vienna Woods or into the mountains, rucksacks on their backs. They cook over open fires and sing songs in the evening. These trips seem such fun. Anna loves swimming and hiking and singing. She yearns to go too, but she and her remaining friends are not invited. In class it becomes noticeable that top marks are never given to Jewish pupils any more. Now Anna’s results are never awarded more than ‘average’.

‘You must continue to work hard and achieve the best you can, whatever the results,’ Matilde urges the girls. ‘We know how clever you are.’

Anna tries hard to concentrate on her schoolwork as before, but it is not always easy to feel the same motivation. Things do not improve as she progresses through school. The new intake of pupils is now entirely Christian. Soon after she matriculates, the teachers in her school let it be known that they are no longer prepared to teach any Jewish pupils. University courses and many professions are similarly out of bounds.

‘We have to hope this is a temporary situation,’ Anna’s father says, but he seems unconvinced.

Anna begins working as a nanny and governess, first for a number of families needing short-term support. Eventually she obtains permanent work for a wealthy Jewish family with two children. She is fond of the children, a boy of nine and a girl of six, and feels any experience will help her in the future. The children’s mother, Karin, is pleased to have intelligent adult company. Her family lives in Budapest, and she rarely sees them. Life can be lonely for Karin at times, especially when her husband, Otto, is away on business trips. Otto runs the family business, dealing in wood products and machinery. He often has to travel to other cities, and sometimes to other countries. Karin enjoys accompanying Anna and the children on visits to the park, or trips to the hills to pick berries and mushrooms. The two young women soon become relaxed and companionable together.

Otto, on the other hand, appears more distant at first. Always polite and somewhat formal with Anna, he rarely initiates conversation with her. Yet Anna finds herself strangely aware of his presence. Sometimes when she glances in his direction, she notices him looking steadily at her. She cannot help admiring Otto’s exceptional good looks. He has a strong forehead, high cheekbones, and a powerful, masculine jawline. His shiny dark hair and caramel-coloured skin look so smooth, almost as though polished. At times, in Otto’s presence, Anna is alarmed to notice a strange sensation in the pit of her stomach: a softening, a feeling of falling, almost as though she were plunging downwards on the Riesenrad in the Prater Park. She is aware too of a disconcerting quivering of her fingers whenever she watches Otto, as if they long to reach out and caress the velvety warmth of his skin.

One day in the early summer, as the children scamper ahead, Karin tells Anna they will be going on holiday to Lugano in three weeks’ time.

‘How long will you be away?’

‘How long will we be away, you mean! Of course you will have to come with us, Anna. We usually stay a month or so.’

‘But surely you want time as a family? Time with Otto?’

‘Yes, sometimes we may ask you to be with the children so he and I can have some time together. But, Anna, you must enjoy yourself too. It’s so beautiful there. The hotel is right on the lakeside. We all love it and you will too – I know it. You will have your own room, and can spend plenty of time doing as you please. You might even meet some attractive young men!’

* * *

It is now around two years since Jakob Wiener started to call at the Feldmans’ apartment. His mother and grandmother are old friends of Artur and Matilde. Anna and her sisters have known Jakob and his twin brother Paul since they were all small children. Their father has been dead since the boys were young. When Jakob and Paul approach their twenty-first birthdays, their mother and grandmother decide to give a party.

Anna loves clothes. She and Esther help one another plan their dresses. They spend hours making sketches of their plans for dress designs, which they show to Matilde. She has such an eye, her ideas and her suggestions always right, always tasteful. Soon they have made their choices. Esther, with her auburn hair and green eyes, looks striking in cream muslin. Anna decides on a pale turquoise material to set off her dark curls.

Margaret is uninterested in clothes. She is happy for her mother to select a dress for her. She has her straight brown hair cut short in the modern style. She joins the Communist Party. Despite her plainness, Margaret is popular with young men. She shows genuine interest in their views on any topic, although she does not always agree. She gazes up at them, absorbed in their arguments, transfixed by their opinions.

On the evening of the party, Jakob welcomes them all, his eyes on Anna. She is flattered by his interest. He is four years older than she is, and handsome. They dance most of the evening. He keeps returning to her. There is something proprietorial about his hand at her back as he leads her onto the dance floor. She feels secure in his hands. Month after month, they spend every spare moment together, going walking, to the sports club and to coffee houses. Anna is excited to be introduced to concerts, the opera and the theatre. Artur is not a cultured man, and circumstances have not allowed his daughters access to such experiences. Anna enjoys the attention lavished on her.

One day her father calls her into his study.

‘Anna, did you know Jakob came to speak to me this afternoon?’

‘Oh?’

‘Has he not talked to you of his plans?’

‘What plans, Papa?’

‘Jakob asked me for your hand today.’

‘My hand? I think he might have asked me first!’

Artur frowns. ‘He behaved very properly. Perhaps he wanted permission from your parents before he spoke to you. I believe he regards you as more of a challenge.’

‘Why a challenge?’

‘You are having a good time with Jakob, yes?’

Anna nods.

‘But I don’t get the impression that you are madly in love with him.’

‘I’m … very fond of him.’

‘But?’

‘It is when we go swimming together. Jakob has a good figure … but he has hair on his shoulders.’

‘What? Hair on his shoulders? You would reject a good man for such a reason? Then you are right not to marry – you are just a silly, immature girl, and not worthy of Jakob.’

Anna’s lip trembles. ‘Papa! I haven’t said I’m rejecting him. I just … need to be sure.’

‘You certainly do. I am disappointed in you. Don’t judge people by appearance alone, Anna. You’ll find it’s an unreliable way to assess a man’s worth – much less important than you think. Jakob is a fine young man, steady and reliable, as his father was too. Talk to your mamma. You need to think seriously about this – and Jakob deserves an honest answer.’

Two months later Jakob solemnly presents Anna with an engagement ring: an emerald set in a star of small diamonds.

Chapter 5 (#ulink_cc423ca7-65b5-5763-8644-0902b6c378dd)

Jakob

The marriage of Julia Kassel and Rudolf Wiener took place in Vienna in September 1895.

It was a grand affair; Rudolf’s mother Paulina considered that nothing less would be appropriate for her only son. She regarded her prospective daughter-in-law as pleasingly compliant, but a trifle ordinary. Rudolf could surely have chosen a bride from one of Vienna’s many wealthier families. He had, after all, attracted the attention of Count Bessendorf’s beautiful youngest daughter Adele in the past, as well showing interest in Mitzi von Kahldorf, whose father had accumulated fabulous riches through international dealing in gold and diamonds.

The Kassel family was decent enough it was true – Julia’s father an esteemed lawyer – but nevertheless, Paulina couldn’t help feeling a lingering sense of disappointment. She was concerned that in their reduced circumstances after the untimely death of Rudolf’s father, her son needed to take advantage of the best opportunities and connections available. It was hardly a time to marry for love! How helpful a clever businessman like Herr von Kahldorf could have been to a son-in-law’s career.

But Rudolf, who had himself trained as a lawyer, wanted nothing more than to join Jakob Kassel’s practice. He had no sense that this might have been beneath his capabilities. He even talked of wanting to represent the legal needs of the poor. Paulina realised it was time to have a serious talk with her son.

‘Rudolf, you are a young man with strong principles, and of course that is very admirable. But a social conscience is a luxury you really cannot afford, my darling. No, I wish you would think more of ambition, of what you can achieve – especially with a little help.’