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Archer’s Goon
Diana Wynne Jones

Archer’s Goon
Diana Wynne Jones

Fact: A Goon is a being who melts into the foreground and sticks there…When the Goon turns up demanding "Archer’s two thousand", life turns upside-down. As Howard desperately tries to get to the bottom of this peculiar demand, he discovers that the town is run by seven crazy wizards (not all of whom live in the present!) and someone is trying to take over the world!Exciting, bizarre and truly hilarious!

COPYRIGHT (#ulink_aa84cd24-c665-5e25-aee3-09767ad58650)

For more information about the author and her work, visit her website at: dianawynnejones.com (http://dianawynnejones.com)

First published by Methuen Children’s Books Ltd 1984

Published by HarperCollins Children’s Books 2000 HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 77-85 Fulham Palace Road, Hammersmith, London, W6 8JB

The HarperCollins Children’s Books website address is: www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)

Text copyright © Diana Wynne Jones 1984

Illustrations by Paul Hess 2000

Diana Wynne Jones and Paul Hess assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of the work.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication.

Source ISBN: 9780006755272

Ebook Edition © SEPTEMBER 2014 ISBN: 9780008116705

Version: 2014-09-29

DEDICATION (#ulink_ecab094d-2877-57cb-9f2c-fe5ff0857004)

To Fiona


Cover (#u451ac861-dc5a-5614-ba5c-ea201d658a99)

Title Page (#ub79544f5-4ea8-5c70-bda5-f9114c508bdb)

Copyright (#ulink_491773ff-7fc3-5869-b4a4-c5afc2a416c0)

Dedication (#ud1a9d79b-b277-53a5-ae62-274b5cc3a0b5)

Author’s Note (#ulink_c1881613-87f0-50d8-be84-220fd8673c91)

Chapter One (#ulink_a6eb0650-a32a-50c0-8c49-5a2acf823354)

Chapter Two (#ulink_b5380a74-5094-5af5-b6ce-d135d9d67d0b)

Chapter Three (#ulink_220a166c-56f2-5a42-8f6e-dd88d0e182d3)

Chapter Four (#ulink_ac828c7d-acb8-570a-a36a-5ffd10a7b852)

Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Keep Reading (#litres_trial_promo)

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About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)

AUTHOR’S NOTE (#ulink_1b4542e1-6390-562d-b73e-5a4f97fbcfe8)

This book will prove the following ten facts:

1 A Goon is a being who melts into the foreground and sticks there.

2 Pigs have wings, making them hard to catch.

3 All power corrupts, but we need electricity.

4 When an irresistible force meets an immovable object, the result is a family fight.

5 Music does not always soothe the troubled breast.

6 An Englishman’s home is his castle.
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