Stopping for a Spell

Stopping for a Spell
Diana Wynne Jones

How do you get rid of unwelcome visitors? Three stories which show that magic might be the answer, but you should always be careful about what you wish for!The Four GranniesWhen Erg and Emily’s parents go away, they arrange for Granny to come and look after them. Unfortunately, they forget to say which granny, and all four turn up. Individually they’re manageable, but when ‘Strict’, ‘Worrier’, ‘Stingy’ and ‘Saint’ get together it’s a different matter – and when Erg tries to magic them away, the result is an awesome ‘Supergranny’!Chair PersonOne day Simon and Marcia’s parents decide to get rid of the old, striped armchair – next day Chair Person turns up, bad-tempered, demanding and with very bad manners. No one seems able to get the better of him, until Auntie Christa turns up too.Who Got Rid of Angus Flint?How do you get rid of a guest who picks you up by the hair, won't let you play the piano, watch television or shut the window? Candida and her family try everything – they poison his stew and litter the house with roller-skates in the hope that he will fall over them – but nothing works! Surely they can’t be stuck with him for ever?

Stopping for a Spell

Diana Wynne Jones

ILLUSTRATED BY CHRIS MOULD

Contents

Cover (#uc16a18c7-127c-5e06-969c-f386e50336f1)

Title Page (#ud11e3a75-ddd1-59b2-b24d-2f94ddf06d4e)

Chair Person

1. Auntie Christa’s Box (#ulink_92067a37-a5b1-52d9-a821-6e5f42be1ed1)

2. Something in the Garden Shed (#ulink_e77d8434-c529-51d5-b5e6-a698aaad211d)

3. A Busy Night (#ulink_cbd8c6c2-3dc6-5d92-846e-b6f01b08373d)

4. Coffee Morning (#ulink_c4c8fe89-74fd-5c04-a573-1c1a65a63e31)

5. Junk Shop (#litres_trial_promo)

6. Party Games (#litres_trial_promo)

The Four Grannies

1. Erg Gets an Idea (#litres_trial_promo)

2. More Grannies Arrive (#litres_trial_promo)

3. Emily Gets Converted (#litres_trial_promo)

4. A Large Yellow Teddy Bear (#litres_trial_promo)

5. How to Keep Four Grannies Busy (#litres_trial_promo)

6. Erg’s Invention Works (#litres_trial_promo)

7. Supergranny (#litres_trial_promo)

Who Got Rid of Angus Flint?

1. Angus Flint Arrives (#litres_trial_promo)

2. The Smell in the Night (#litres_trial_promo)

3. Roller Skates and stew (#litres_trial_promo)

4. Cream Teas (#litres_trial_promo)

5. Angus Flint’s Revenge (#litres_trial_promo)

6. The Tables Turn (#litres_trial_promo)

Also by the Author (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)

Chair Person (#ulink_c9585304-ec6c-5c58-99a6-118161637ebc)

CHAPTER ONE Auntie Christa’s Box (#ulink_b34db640-d9b0-5a0f-b56f-ba94f78e8664)

What happened to the old striped armchair was Auntie Christa’s fault.

The old chair had stood in front of the television for as long as Simon and Marcia could remember. As far as they knew, the cushion at the top had always been tipped sideways and it had never been comfortable to sit in. The seat was too short for Dad and too low for Mum and too high for Simon or Marcia. Its arms were the wrong shape for putting things on. Perhaps that was why there was a coffee stain on one arm and a blot of ink on the other. There was a sticky brown patch on the seat where Simon and Marcia had once had a fight for the ketchup bottle. Then, one evening, the sideways cushion at the top wore out. Whatever the chair was stuffed with began to ooze out in a spiky brown bush.

“The armchair’s grown a beard,” said Simon.

“It looks as if someone’s smashed a hedgehog on it,” Marcia said.

Dad stood and looked at it. “Let’s get rid of it,” he said. “I’ve never liked it, anyway. I tell you what – we can sit the guy in it on Guy Fawkes night. That will make a really good bonfire.”

Marcia thought this was a very good idea. Now she thought about it, she had never liked that chair either. The purple and orange and pale blue stripes on it never seemed to go with anything else in the room. Simon was not so sure. He always liked things that he knew, and he had known that chair all his life. It seemed a shame to burn it on the bonfire. He was glad when Mum objected.

“Oh, you can’t throw it out!” Mum said. “It’s got such a personality!”

“But it’s worn out,” said Dad. “It wasn’t new when we bought it. We can afford to buy a much nicer one now.”

They argued about it, until Simon began to feel sorry for the old chair and even Marcia felt a little guilty about burning a chair that was old enough to have a personality.

“Couldn’t we just sell it?” she asked.

“Don’t you start!” said Dad. “Even the junk shop wouldn’t want a mucky old thing like—”

At that moment Auntie Christa came in. Auntie Christa was not really an auntie, but she liked everyone to call her that. As usual, she came rushing in through the kitchen, carrying three carrier bags and a cardboard box and calling, “Coo-ee! It’s me!” When she arrived in the living room, she sank down into the striped armchair and panted, “I just had to come in. I’m on my way to the Community Hall, but my feet are killing me. I’ve been all afternoon collecting prizes for the children’s party for the Caring Society on Saturday – I must have walked miles! But you wouldn’t believe what wonderful prizes people have given me. Just look.” She dumped her cardboard box on the arm of the chair – it was the arm with the ink blot – in order to fetch a bright green teddy bear out of one of the carrier bags. She wagged the teddy in their faces. “Isn’t he charming?”

“So-so,” said Dad, and Marcia added, “Perhaps he’d look better without the pink ribbon.” Simon and Mum were too polite to say anything.

“And here’s such a lovely clockwork train!” Auntie Christa said, plunging the teddy back in the bag and pulling out a broken engine. “Isn’t it exciting? I can’t stay long enough to show you everything – I have to go and see to the music for the Senior Citizens’ Dance in a minute – but I think I’ve just got time to drink a cup of tea.”

“Of course,” Mum said guiltily. “Coming up.” She dashed into the kitchen.