Play With a Tiger and Other Plays

FOURTH PRECEPT: It is easily overlooked.

FIFTH PRECEPT: Until you have seen it – but then some people find it hard to look at anything else.

ONE WHO STARES AT THE ALTAR: Why, it isn’t even attached to anything. It doesn’t lead anywhere.

ANOTHER: It isn’t anything at all.

GUARDIAN [on his feet and obviously about to launch into an oration]: My children, in this unfortunate time, let us all take heart and …

CHAIRMAN: Quite so, oh quite so, Guardian, but perhaps I should deal with this? [GUARDIAN seats himself again] Secretary, have you file Number 7? [SECRETARY hands over file 7] Last week, our investigators found evidence of a new subversive cult and …

FIFTH PRECEPT: You mean, our spies.

CHAIRMAN: If you like. But there is unrest. Serious unrest.

[There is noise beyond the left opening. One of the ATTENDANTS comes running to the conference table.]

ATTENDANT: Some of them insist on coming in.

CHAIRMAN: You have forgotten something, I think?

ATTENDANT: Second Hereditary Attendant to the Gate to the First Level. Some of them insist on coming in.

CHAIRMAN: They can wait until tomorrow.

[A second ATTENDANT runs over.]

THIS ATTENDANT: First Hereditary Attendant. They’ve got hand-grenades.

CHAIRMAN: I knew it. [to a GUARD] Arrest the Fourth and Fifth Precepts.

FIFTH PRECEPT: You haven’t the authority.

CHAIRMAN: Haven’t I!

SECRETARY: Precepts cannot be arrested without a week’s full notice and then only after having posted …

CHAIRMAN: Oh never mind. Doctor – Precept Doctor?

[DOCTOR stands up.]

FIFTH PRECEPT: There’s no appeal against that.

CHAIRMAN: No.

[The DOCTOR takes FOURTH and FIFTH PRECEPTS over to right. He claps his hands. Two white-overalled MEDICAL ASSISTANTS come running from left with a rolled stretcher, bottles of pills, a syringe. All the DELEGATES are watching these arrangements. The two who supported FOURTH and FIFTH PRECEPTS rise and go over and join them.]

SECRETARY: Heroic!

CHAIRMAN: But futile.

FIRST HEREDITARY ATTENDANT: Exalted Chairman, they give us five minutes. They have the pins out of their grenades.

CHAIRMAN: We bow to force. Let them in.

[Two LOW-LEVELLERS come in. They are dressed in sweaters and jeans, have long hair, carry grenades.]

CHAIRMAN: Who are you?

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: That doesn’t matter.

CHAIRMAN: We must know with whom we are dealing.

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: We are from Level 56.

[Munnurs of shock and surprise from the DELEGATES.]

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Yes, this is the first time any one of you have set eyes on Level 56-ers, isn’t it?

CHAIRMAN: Your status?

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: Oh tell them, if it keeps them happy.

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Officer First Class, Second Subsidiary Grade.

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: Officer First Class, Second Subsidiary Grade.

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Elected officers.

CHAIRMAN: Impossible.

SECRETARY: Sir, there was that revolution last month in the Intermediate City.

CHAIRMAN [affable]: Ah, so you are the leaders of the successful coup in the Intermediate City?

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: You can put it like that if you can’t, understand it any other way.

[From the left comes a muffled shout.]

We have no leaders!

[Some more LOW-LEVELLERS come into view, trying to force their way past the ATTENDANTS. FIRST and SECOND LOW-LEVELLERS turn so that they are able simultaneously to keep the DELEGATES controlled with their hand-grenades, and watch the entrance left. THIRD and FOURTH LOW-LEVELLERS burst in, with rifles. They are wearing a lot of leather, and have short hair.]

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: It is no use trying to keep us out.

CHAIRMAN: Very well, I suppose there is nothing for it. I declare the conference reopened, for discussion on Item 99. Will you please all be seated?

FOURTH LOW-LEVELLER: A committee! Would you believe it!